11 April 2019
I've decided to start naming the post the day I'm on of facing my fears and making a comeback from sorrows I've experienced since I had a bomb dropped on me!
Oh, don't worry! It was not a literal bomb-- but a very real but figurative bomb of words spoken to me in a chilly office last Tuesday night on the night of April 2, 2019.
If you've read my blog (and most of you haven't!) you'll know these last 7 years have had a lot of unpleasant things happen. In fact, I led a pretty peaceful life to the point of the year 2012. (Well, okay, I'm not going to include the abuse of my childhood. That's a whole other life experience!) I've overcome some challenging and very private odds and obstacles.
While I can't share the details of these tip of the iceberg-like experiences, it is sufficient to say that some people would have disavowed their life-long culture to seek different shores. But, I know it is God in whom I trust-- not imperfect, but well-meaning people who, like me, are just trying to make sense of the rough terrain of this mortal battlefield of life!
What I find is that as I look to Heavenly Father in faith and gratitude that I am blessed to climb the exhausting stairs of life and sometimes I can look back down the steps and think-- "Hey, look how far I've come! I can do this with the help of the Savior to help pull me up the next step!"
I was more than delighted to have my son ask me that question! It means that he listens to me! I told him how that night at the adult session of stake conference (versus the family session the next day) I had sat alone. (My husband was home sick.) At one point of the conference we were asked to turn to our neighbors to discuss how the new Come Follow Me scripture study program is going in our homes. https://www.lds.org/study/manual/come-follow-me-for-individuals-and-families-new-testament-2019/03?lang=eng
I was feeling sad and distressed and had no plan to join in (I was just sitting and sketching a picture of Jesus which represented my anguish of spirit), but a kind man ("Brother") slid over a chair closer to me to involve me in conversation. This kind church brother has a sweet, thoughtful spirit about him. He shared his family experiences and listened with interest to mine. And, it's hard to put words on it, but I felt better by his efforts. I guess what I felt was included, even when I had intended to put up a barrier of exclusion to all the world. That small act witnessed God's awareness of me.
Today I saw the hand of God in a small and simple way too. I took my 3 youngest children in to the dentist at 8 am. Each had a cavity! (Don't judge me please! Yes, they need to floss and apparently brush better, but they do brush morning and night. They don't floss. I've invested in some flossers/picks to try to help them!)
The upside of the dentist visits is this time allows me to visit with our favorite dentist. Over the years he's become a friend (only at the office) and every time I go there he always stops to visit with me, even if my children are only scheduled for a cleaning with the nurses and not with him. We go every 3 months and I have 5 kids... so I see him often!
Here's what was a delight to me and was one of the ways I saw the hand of God today... When he finished up my 3rd child he told me that I am "a breath of fresh air" to visit with!" I was thoroughly delighted to hear that! That one little phrase helped me to catch a glimpse of my identity. It helped me know that while one person in my life has chosen to cause me (and, in turn, my family) suffering from his intentional torment, that not every one is out to hurt me or speak ill of me. The Dentists words were like drops of rain on a parched desert flower! I felt grateful!
Of course, I feel grateful for many things. If I'm being honest, I recognize that my ability to be grateful is a gift. I've prayed every day for Heavenly Father to bless me with a grateful heart. I've prayed everyday for years to see life through His love. I've prayed to find joy in sorrow. And you know what, as I study the scriptures, pray, and seek to make my life pure before Him, I have seen an increase in my ability to feel grateful. I urge you, reader, to seek a gift of a grateful heart-- and then to look for it each day!
So, back to my day. After 2 hours at the dentist (some of that was solely talk time!:) my children and I walked to a nearby store and bought donuts and fresh strawberries and then we walked to a nearby bus stop. (We only have one vehicle and my husband had dropped us off at the dentist this morning.)
It was a crazy spring day and decided to become a full-fledge snow storm! It was chilly and for half an hour we hid inside a nearby building eating our donuts while my boys ran up and down the stairs. Once we got on the bus, I stayed on a very long route 4 towns over to watch my daughter get off at her school, then we followed the route back 2 more cities for my sons to go to their school, I checked them in and then walked a short distance home. (Sorry for the details but this blog is my basic journal. The details are more for me than you.)
On the bus ride we had a lot of fun visiting about life. One time I asked them what I like to take photographs of and it was happy for me to hear how well they know me because one son said, "Rocks and trees" True!
My other son said "Mountains and landscapes"
They started chiming in other answers, like: "Us!" "Gates," "Doors," Okay, okay, I like taking pictures of lots of things. (I am a photographer!)
But we had just talked about the horses we passed and I was looking for one more answer. I gave them the clue that horses live there. "Barns" they shouted nearly in unison! That's right! I love old rustic barns.
Well, anyhow, as I had time with my children without cell phone or internet distraction, I just felt so grateful for the sweetness and the goodness of their souls! I felt thankful for my health and grateful for the beautiful place and I live. And I felt, and feel, grateful that I can see the hand of God in my life.
How do you see the hand of God in your life?
Christine
*Here is the talk of Elder Eyring's that I reference: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/o-remember-remember?lang=eng
This particular quote from it about journaling helps to illustrate where I got the idea for asking "How have you seen the hand of God today?" to my husband and children: "...as I got to the door, I heard in my mind—not in my own voice—these words: “I’m not giving you these experiences for yourself. Write them down.”
I've decided to start naming the post the day I'm on of facing my fears and making a comeback from sorrows I've experienced since I had a bomb dropped on me!
Oh, don't worry! It was not a literal bomb-- but a very real but figurative bomb of words spoken to me in a chilly office last Tuesday night on the night of April 2, 2019.
If you've read my blog (and most of you haven't!) you'll know these last 7 years have had a lot of unpleasant things happen. In fact, I led a pretty peaceful life to the point of the year 2012. (Well, okay, I'm not going to include the abuse of my childhood. That's a whole other life experience!) I've overcome some challenging and very private odds and obstacles.
While I can't share the details of these tip of the iceberg-like experiences, it is sufficient to say that some people would have disavowed their life-long culture to seek different shores. But, I know it is God in whom I trust-- not imperfect, but well-meaning people who, like me, are just trying to make sense of the rough terrain of this mortal battlefield of life!
I recently sat on my 11-year old son's bed in traditional fashion at bedtime. (He and little brother take turns each night with Mama. Though the 9-year old really does NOT like taking turns. He wants to cuddle with me every night! Haha. Too funny!:)) I always tell him that I know it's hard to share when you are 9, but that I love his big brother too!) Anyhow... my 11-year-old surprised me when he asked me during our visiting: "How have you seen the hand of God today?" He's never asked me this before! This is a question I implemented years ago with my family when I heard Elder Henry B. Eyring of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints post a similar question in a talk he gave.*
I was more than delighted to have my son ask me that question! It means that he listens to me! I told him how that night at the adult session of stake conference (versus the family session the next day) I had sat alone. (My husband was home sick.) At one point of the conference we were asked to turn to our neighbors to discuss how the new Come Follow Me scripture study program is going in our homes. https://www.lds.org/study/manual/come-follow-me-for-individuals-and-families-new-testament-2019/03?lang=eng
 |
I haven't really sketched in pencil for many
years. I'm an amateur, but I still
enjoyed the effort. :)
|
I was feeling sad and distressed and had no plan to join in (I was just sitting and sketching a picture of Jesus which represented my anguish of spirit), but a kind man ("Brother") slid over a chair closer to me to involve me in conversation. This kind church brother has a sweet, thoughtful spirit about him. He shared his family experiences and listened with interest to mine. And, it's hard to put words on it, but I felt better by his efforts. I guess what I felt was included, even when I had intended to put up a barrier of exclusion to all the world. That small act witnessed God's awareness of me.
Today I saw the hand of God in a small and simple way too. I took my 3 youngest children in to the dentist at 8 am. Each had a cavity! (Don't judge me please! Yes, they need to floss and apparently brush better, but they do brush morning and night. They don't floss. I've invested in some flossers/picks to try to help them!)
The upside of the dentist visits is this time allows me to visit with our favorite dentist. Over the years he's become a friend (only at the office) and every time I go there he always stops to visit with me, even if my children are only scheduled for a cleaning with the nurses and not with him. We go every 3 months and I have 5 kids... so I see him often!
Here's what was a delight to me and was one of the ways I saw the hand of God today... When he finished up my 3rd child he told me that I am "a breath of fresh air" to visit with!" I was thoroughly delighted to hear that! That one little phrase helped me to catch a glimpse of my identity. It helped me know that while one person in my life has chosen to cause me (and, in turn, my family) suffering from his intentional torment, that not every one is out to hurt me or speak ill of me. The Dentists words were like drops of rain on a parched desert flower! I felt grateful!
 |
Before getting a chocolate-dipped ice cream,
my sweet children had fun bouncing
the balls around!
|
So, back to my day. After 2 hours at the dentist (some of that was solely talk time!:) my children and I walked to a nearby store and bought donuts and fresh strawberries and then we walked to a nearby bus stop. (We only have one vehicle and my husband had dropped us off at the dentist this morning.)
It was a crazy spring day and decided to become a full-fledge snow storm! It was chilly and for half an hour we hid inside a nearby building eating our donuts while my boys ran up and down the stairs. Once we got on the bus, I stayed on a very long route 4 towns over to watch my daughter get off at her school, then we followed the route back 2 more cities for my sons to go to their school, I checked them in and then walked a short distance home. (Sorry for the details but this blog is my basic journal. The details are more for me than you.)
My other son said "Mountains and landscapes"
They started chiming in other answers, like: "Us!" "Gates," "Doors," Okay, okay, I like taking pictures of lots of things. (I am a photographer!)
But we had just talked about the horses we passed and I was looking for one more answer. I gave them the clue that horses live there. "Barns" they shouted nearly in unison! That's right! I love old rustic barns.
Well, anyhow, as I had time with my children without cell phone or internet distraction, I just felt so grateful for the sweetness and the goodness of their souls! I felt thankful for my health and grateful for the beautiful place and I live. And I felt, and feel, grateful that I can see the hand of God in my life.
How do you see the hand of God in your life?
Christine
*Here is the talk of Elder Eyring's that I reference: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/o-remember-remember?lang=eng
This particular quote from it about journaling helps to illustrate where I got the idea for asking "How have you seen the hand of God today?" to my husband and children: "...as I got to the door, I heard in my mind—not in my own voice—these words: “I’m not giving you these experiences for yourself. Write them down.”
I went inside. I didn’t go to bed. Although I was tired, I took out some paper and began to write. And as I did, I understood the message I had heard in my mind. I was supposed to record for my children to read, someday in the future, how I had seen the hand of God blessing our family. . . I wrote [what I had just seen] down, so that my children could have the memory someday when they would need it."
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please be nice with your comment.