Happy New Year 2015! :)

Last night at nearly midnight (I'm a bit of a night owl!!), I finished painting my bathroom a beautiful When I began painting I was feeling so happy and productive. As I worked, the little angel on my shoulder whispered happy songs in my ear of how great I was doing at working so hard today, and finishing up almost everything I can, for now, in the basement!) But, somewhere between the happy songs and productive, satisfied feeling, I started listening to the other voice on the other shoulder!! (I speak purely metaphorically! Not literally!) And the other voice wasn't an angel! 

shade of blue.

Indeed, I found myself mulling over unsettling situations in various corners of my life and circles of contacts. Regarding one such situation, I found myself deciding I wouldn't go to my church next Sunday. Then I decided, "No, I won't go for at least 2 weeks." I wanted to prove a point! As I painted, I prayed and asked Heavenly Father if it would be alright if I were to skip my ward. After all, I pointed out to him, "Isn't there room for just a little harmless pride." I just knew that such a behavior really wouldn't affect anyone but me. Right? And Besides, I continued to express to Him, "I'll still go to another church time--- just not my own."

Well, for the record, God did not speak back. He just listened to me express the hurts of my heart. I asked myself, why I should let 1 or a few people cause me to question my value for even a moment, or cause me to feel flustered by certain dynamics.) 

I really didn't need God to say, "Hey look, Christine-- just let it go (insert music outburst here... "Let it Gol! Let it Go!!  For as I silently continue to pray I already knew my answers. I knew that the most important opinion I need to worry about is Him--and not anyone else.

And though I didn't hear any audible replies, I did find myself recalling the scripture which says:

Philippians 4:12

I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: 

every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry,

both to abound and to suffer need. 

Well, I don't happen to like being "abased." I much favor feeling at peace, contently thankful, and happy! Being abased, by definition means to be humiliated, dishonored, defamed, belittled. I've never handled those things too well! 

Somehow, as my mind was drawn to the scripture, I also found that my thoughts were able to move past the sting, rejections, and hurt, which to that time I'd been allowing myself to focus on. I also found that I was able to move past the sour taste of this particular topic. Instead, I found myself considering just how blessed I was to be able to have the strength to paint, work with energy, and cumulatively change my life. I felt thankful for divine direction, and the grace- which truly enables and affords me so many blessings. Yes, there in the unlikely confines of my small bathroom, my heart felt full as I considered how I have reached a place in my life that I never imagined possible for the likes of me.

In truth, I used to imagine, and pray, that Oprah would step in and save me and my family with one of her big dreams come true shows. Now I see that I needed to give my life and will to God, and become humbled and hard working. He has given me all the tools I needed to change FROM WITHIN- and it turns out I did not need to be an Oprah success story!

My bathroom is now painted and I'm amazed to realize that my greatest satisfaction didn't come from a sense of accomplishment in finally getting the bathroom painted-- but in the knowledge that I was able to face that battle against my unseen opponent of pride and vain imagination, and come out a victor! A champion against my weaknesses.

Here we all are, on the verge of a new year. You may face, as did I, unseen enemies, or you may face very real and very strong opponents in your daily battles. Whatever you face, please understand that a very loving Heavenly Father is ready to stand at the front of your battle line, and help to fight your battles with you, and for you.

The amount of help God gives us is, in large part, determined by us. It's not so simple as saying, "Please fight my battles for me and with me." It requires our personal discomfort, sacrifice, and self-discipline. We have to decide that we want to improve and change our lives. We have to want to give our troubles, stubbornness, and rebellions to Him, and allow Him to teach us how to be peaceable in all the scenarios we face in life--be they sweet and pleasant, or humiliating and degrading.

I hope that you will remember that you are loved perfectly by Heavenly Father. He sees you in everything you do, and he knows you better than your dearest friend. The feelings of His heart extend beyond our limited understanding. He is filled with tenderness, love, longing, and mercy for each one of us. Heavenly Father has a special plan for your life. Dreams waiting to be written, and songs yet to sing. No matter what darkness some of you may be facing, or will yet face, there is a beautiful sunrise waiting for you. Sunrises of a new day, filled with new beginnings.

I know those colorfully painted words of mine may sound too flowery for you. You may even doubt what I say. But, I cannot deny that I have seen of God's goodness, and felt of His love. I have had glimpses into the capacity of His almighty hand. Through Jesus Christ, I am redeemed, and through His all encompassing atonement I have the capacity and potential to co-author marvelous dreams of a personal paradise here on earth. I never dreamed I would be able to do so, but now I can't help but sing a song of His redeeming love. I am truly blessed, and grateful for my testimony of God's love for me, and for each one of us, individually.

In closing, let me share some of the words from a BYU speech I listened today, given by an amazing man in 1973. Some of you know Him! Gordon B. Hinckley!

"It is so easy to get discouraged while you’re here. It seems so natural a thing to drop out or to give in. The way seems so long, the road so steep, that we are prone to think it not worth the candle. The story is told of the Irish peddler who wished to go to Dublin, which was so far away and he had no money. But he got there by placing one foot in front of the other."

"My dear young friends, never lose faith in yourselves or in your capacity to do worthwhile things. And call upon the Lord for help that your minds may be enlightened and your understanding quickened. Then go to work with that assurance inside of you that somehow you can do it."

".... for “if ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you” (Matthew 17:20). Such is the promise of the Lord Jesus Christ. This, my brethren and sisters, is what our presence ... is all about: that faith might increase and be manifest and reflected in our lives..."

You are loved! Keep firm in faith, and take the necessary steps forward to meet your goals. Happy New Year!
Christine

In Sickness and in Health

Since Tuesday I have been ill.  It began in the early morning hours.  (Isn't that how it always is!)  Initially I thought it was because I'd been up late typing in my journal, and snacked on some fresh garden peas and raspberries, that my friend let me pick from her garden! :)  I soon realized that those stomach spasms weren't a "stomach ache" from eating too late.  In fact, I had acquired a stomach bug!

I've been blessed so very  very much over the last 2 years with good health that I could only express gratitude that I'd been blessed with such health, and that this opportunity was allowing me to refine my understanding of empathy towards others.  I never want to forget what so many people experience, or what I have in my life experiences, just because I am in a time of amazing health and energy.

So, there I was.  2 long days of staying mostly in bed or visiting my friendly neighborhood potty.  Wishing I could finish installing the quarter round, or finishing up the last wall of painting, or eat a bit of anything without terrible spasms.  But no, I lay in bed sleeping and moaning instead.  (And how dare my husband suggest that I'm a bigger baby than him when I am sick! ;)

I was worried that today I wouldn't be able to attend my husbands performance at a local re-enactment center.  I didn't even plan ahead to go.  But 5 minutes before we needed to leave (with all 5 of our children) I realized I'd been given a blessing of health again.  I truly rose from my bed of affliction, and walked.  I spent the whole day walking in fact.  Taking my children on pony rides, making pioneer hankerchief dolls, playing stick games, exploring pioneer houses, riding the miniature train, and enjoying many other activities.  In fact, it was a hot day, but all I could do was frequently express my heart felt joy and gratitude at being able to be there with my children, and enjoying the blessing to make memories with them.

When I came home I got down on my knees in the cool and quiet of my room and thanked Heavenly Father for giving me such a blessing of a wonderful day, that I would have missed out on.  And, I should also mention that 3 of my 5 children had started feeling sick like me all day yesterday.  So the mere fact that they woke up in perfect health, says a lot as well.

As I got up from praying, the LDS Primary song, "Can A Little Child Like Me" played into my thoughts....


1. Can a little child like me
Thank the Father fittingly?
Yes, oh yes! Be good and true,
Patient, kind in all you do!
Love the Lord and do your part;
Learn to say with all your heart:

Father, we thank thee!
Father, we thank thee!
Father in Heaven, we thank thee!

2. For the fruit upon the tree,
For the birds that sing of thee,
For the sunshine warm and bright,
For the day and for the night,
For the joyful work and true
That a little child may do,

Father, we thank thee!
Father, we thank thee!
Father in Heaven, we thank thee!

Words: Mary M. Dodge, about 1831-1905
Music: W. K. Bassford, 1839-1902

You can listen to the melody of the song here: https://www.lds.org/music/library/childrens-songbook/can-a-little-child-like-me?lang=eng

Part of the secret of my happiness in life is that I've learned how to have a heart filled with gratitude.  I used to feel sorry for myself, and didn't focus as well on what I had.  I tried, but I fell short, because I spent too much time being self-absorbed.  Everything in my world is better because I try to keep a constant prayer of Gratitude to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for my many blessings and opportunities.  Gratitude is the key to not only happiness, but love, and the sweet blessings and assurances that come from the Holy Ghost.

It takes work to be grateful. I remember improving this skill when I was in college and I started keeping a gratitude journal after watching something about it on the Oprah show.  That was a turning point for me.  Initially it was hard work, because I hadn't developed the skill of focusing on my blessings.  Someday's my 5 things were hard to come up with, and I didn't "feel" the real meaning behind my words.  I wrote simple things like "I'm thankful for hands that can write."  "I'm thankful for the good food I had to eat at lunch"  But as time progressed, I learned to see with clearer truth all that I had, and I started writing little experiences about my day.  Such as the day that a church member gave me a bag of oranges, and how thankful I was because we were very poor and didn't have money for such things.

Pray to be grateful, and look for every opportunity to be grateful.  Even if it's just about the basics of like like, "I have a bed to sleep in" or "I have clothes to wear."  Your words may not feel very sincere to you, because (like me) you may take those things for granted, but soon enough through diligence and prayer, you will feel the power of those words!

Psalm 100:4

Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: 

be thankful unto Him, and bless His name.

I know we can each take steps toward being grateful in all things.  I know it will bless and improve our outlook on life!
Christine

P.S.  I'll try to add photos of my day soon. But my laptop is broken :P