Day 30 of 365 days of Solace: Love makes a difference

I took this nap Sunday between LDS
conference session. She's such a cuddly dog!

I sure wish I could keep up with everyday. But I am in finals right now, and while I could write a few lines, I would favor having photos of my family!  I may have to ease up on how entailed I am, and all the cool pictures I take, which show the special moments with my family.  But we'll see...

My 8 yr old puppy and my 9 week old puppy fell to sleep
during scripture study!

Here are a few reason it makes it harder (only a few!):

• I'm in school
• I'm now working at a care center.
• I have this crazy needy puppy,
• and these crazy needy children! ;))
• I am trying to finish helping my husband put our house in order-- meaning- De-JUNKING! (He's been very busy this Spring break-- but with my shoulder I couldn't help much.  My shoulder is

  

  Our Sunny the puppy, enjoyed snuggling under the blanket
  that warmed my feet this morning as I studied.

  feeling more mobile, and slightly better...so I can do a little more.  (Today I organized my bathroom drawers! :)  Very satisfying, but not strenuous.

I would like to share an excerpt of a letter I wrote a friend today.  And then I'm off to bed!  

The other night, J. and I went together to ladies night at Deseret Book. I really, really wanted to win the statue of Christ.  I didn't win that, but I did win a little book by Jeffrey and Patricia Holland, "To Mothers: Carrying the Torch of Faith and Family." I began reading yesterday, because I didn't think it was coincidence that out of hundreds of women, I won this specific book.  

As I wiped my tears dry yesterday during my reading, I felt this book was meant to bless me. I know that Heavenly Father really wants me to trust Him, and to understand my value in His eyes. While I know he is pleased that I can recognize, feel, and understand His validation, which may be given to me by those around me, He especially wants me to fine-tune my understanding that only He can offer me a consistently clear identity of value of self-worth, which is all-encompassed in His safe and perfect love.

As I read today, these words of Pat Holland stood out to me: 

"....we each wear a variety of faces in the different roles we play: teacher, confidante, caregiver, mentor, disciplinarian, healer, friend, to name just a few. Our countenances display charity, envy, patience, anxiety, pride, humility, generosity, greed, peace, perplexity.  These portraits mirror joy and grief together, and through this exchange the lines are "women fine." We are all learning of God's slow, steady way of sculpturing the experiences that cannot be escaped "till we have our face."

(p.11)

"Which face is really yours? What is your role as a mother? What if the faces change so fast and the demands become so great that you hardly know who you are any of the time? How can you ever hope to be in control all of the time?"

"May I try to give some modest reassurances. First and most important, if we look closely in those many-mirrored faces, we will always see God's infinite care in the process of making us who we are and what we are becoming. We see the gentle way He kneels to brush back our hair or even to wipe away a tear. He adjusts the angle of the light and works His wonders with lines and scars and shadows. Ever so softly He whispers for us to endure difficulty or discouragement for what it may hold of illumination and eternal beauty.  Under His hand our inner person becomes the outer person, and the artist shapes His perfect image." (page 12)

I hope you take time to inventory some of the great things you are doing as a Mother, and pray to know how to improve, or adjust what you are doing.

If you don't have children, please don't underestimate the value of your efforts to brighten the lives of others.  Motherhood is a lot more than having biological children, it is about unselfish service to each of Heavenly Father's children.  There is a world of people out there who need to feel the Savior's love. Because a friend showed so much pure, and Christlike love, I finally got to this point of peace.  God's loved performed miracles in my heart, mind, and life- but it took someone willing to share that love with me, in order to want to change.

I love both of these scriptures, and take comfort that as I seek to draw near to God each day, that I will have the special peace that comes from trying to do what is right-even in my imperfection.

Isaiah 54:4

4 Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more.

Micah 4:13

13 Arise and thresh, O daughter of Zion: for I will make thine horn iron, and I will make thy hoofs brass: and thou shalt beat in pieces many people: and I will consecrate their gain unto the Lord, and their substance unto the Lord of the whole earth.

Believe in yourself!  Even the small efforts each day, will add up over time- just like drops of water in a bucket!

Keep trying- God will never give up on you!

Love, 

Christine

Day 8 of 365 days of solace

Today I was particularly worried about finishing my math assignments and math test.  As such, I let my 6 year old kindergartner watch the Disney musical, Newsies. (There are a few little things, that I wish they'd kept out, but overall the message is one of hope and courage.  A timely message for anyone.)

As the movie was ending, my cell phone school alarm went off.  Which means he has about 12 or 15 minutes to be ready, so we can get him on his bus in time.  Obediently he ran off, in his Scooby-Doo underwear, to throw on his school clothes! (He favors wearing underwear these days!)

My 6 year old M, has a few quirks about how clothing feels, and how socks fit



and feel.  Today was no exception, and he began a crazy search through the sock box (a box of matched socks) to find a pair that he approved of wearing!  I kept saying he needed to hurry. I told him he needed to wear any sock, and get out to the bus!

In the interim, as he ran down to the basement to search the unmatched sock box, I got mad, and I raised my voice, and demanded he get up here now!  I rarely lose my temper--now (I used to get mad all the time in the passed/past.). When I do feel mad, I work very hard to control myself. I pray for heavens help, and I find I am blessed in keeping an eternal focus of a short-lived, unhappy moment- such as this one!

Little M did what he wanted, despite my frustrated mood.  He ran down, found another pair of socks, and came running back up. Frantically, I hurried him to get them on, and then I helped tie his shoes.  As I did so, I ask M to forgive me for raising my voice, and then I prayed out loud with M.  It went something like this, "Heavenly Father, I'm really sorry for getting mad and raising my voice.  I feel frustrated, because M is probably going to miss his bus. Please help me to not feel upset, Please help me to be more humble and kind, and help me to know how to be a better mother" Hopefully I expressed appreciation too--which is very important to do....but I was upset int he moment...so I may have forgotten. I'm sure God understands.

And he played with my dollar store jars :)

Once dressed I hugged and kissed M goodbye and down the street he ran, to catch the bus.  I watched as he waited, but after 10 minutes, I knew he'd missed it! I called him home.  Without a vehicle, he had to stay home for the day. He played quietly, and had to pick up some of his messes to have the privilege of playing www.readingeggs.com.  (This site has helped him a lot, but if you decide to join it...call, and ask the operator for a discount on reading eggs and math eggs! They have them, if you ask.)

I stumbled across a video...which helped me make sure I always work on a positive, loving mood.  It's worth the watch.  The rest of the day, I remembered that video, and knew I wanted to be like the father had been, once upon a long time ago....

I am thankful that children are amazingly resilient. I am thankful that a loving Heavenly Father (God), gives up opportunity after opportunity to do better each day, and each hour.  I'm thankful that there is such a thing as FORGIVENESS.  My forgiveness toward others.  The forgiveness of others toward me.  And most importantly, the forgiveness of God, which is possible through the atonement of Jesus Christ.

God can help you and me to find forgiveness for our mistakes, no matter what we feel those mistakes are.  Don't give in to the lie of the devil that you've done too many bad things to be forgiven.  Don't give in to the lie that says you are not worth the effort, and that your life is a lost cause.  You are not defined by your mistakes, you are defined by the love of God, and your willingness to keep trying- even when it seems like all the odds are against you.

God won't make you change.  He won't force you to do anything. He will give you endless opportunities to look to Him for help, and have additional special blessings to help you on your successful journey back home to Him. I hope you and I will each choose to walk that journey- even if feels to hard to walk sometimes.  Do your best, and the powers of God will truly raise you up!

Luke 7:47
47 Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.

(Translated, by me to mean: God will forgive us generously, if we love and forgive generously.  But, if we are unforgiving and angry toward others, he will not be as generous and quick to forgive us!)

Ephesians 4:32

32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted,forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. 

Doctrine and Covenants 82:11 Verily, verily, I say unto you, my servants, that inasmuch as you have forgiven one another your trespasses, even so I, the Lord, forgive you.

Colossians 3:1313 Forbearing one another, and forgiving  one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

Trust me! I know there are worse things that being forgiving of a naughty child, who missed the bus for school- when you really wanted to just focus on a math test! :)  Really, I do know that there are a lot worse things, and I have experienced some of those things---sometimes with personal grace and dignity, and other times with anger and lack of mercy. BUT, as I have worked hard to choose to be merciful, and consider how I can change instead of seeing the faults of others, I have seen many special blessings of God unfold. Let us pray each day for the Charity of the Lord to bless and buoy us!

Love, Christine