Day 117 of 365 days of Solace: Love Heals

119 days ago something happened that I didn't feel prepared for. A heavy burden was placed on my heart and sorrow began to sit upon me in a way that I had not experienced in a long time. I didn't know how I'd manage the emotions that I felt might consume me.

Through it all, I continued with faith and hope in looked to God in prayer and study. I knew that He could help me, where it didn't seem very hopeful. It didn't happen immediately, but I gradually began to notice that my burden felt lighter and my sorrow was turned to smiles. The tight chains that were hurting me, instead turned into restraints of humility and peace. Any tendency to want to hurt those that caused injury to me melted into complete forgiveness. I also began to see the tender mercies of God's hand each day of this trial-- be it through kind words, treats to my doors, or a song of comfort playing into my dreams at night.

I can say unequivocally that it is only through the grace of God that I am at peace. Even with my boat still upon stormy waters, I testify of the truth and power of Christ's words:

John 14:27
27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

I am at peace, and I am no longer afraid of what is or what yet may be. I can't rejoice enough in this comfort which comes from a higher power, well beyond myself. I know that through the atonement of Jesus Christ each of us can be blessed. There is no battle of the mind, body, or spirit which was not first victoriously overcome in the garden of Gethsemane

If we stand on the side of Jesus Christ, the ultimate champion, we can face any battles, and we can be champions through Christ.

Love,
Christine

P.S. Here's a song I just discovered, and I think the words are truly encouraging.

Tell Your Heart to Beat Again 

By Danny Gokey

You're shattered
Like you've never been before
The life you knew
In a thousand pieces on the floor
And words fall short in times like these
When this world drives you to your knees
You think you're never gonna get back
To the you that used to be

Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace

Yesterday's a closing door
You don't live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you've been
And tell your heart to beat again
Beginning

Just let that word wash over you
It's alright now
Love's healing hands have pulled you through
So get back up, take step one
Leave the darkness, feel the sun

'Cause your story's far from over
And your journey's just begun
Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in

Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday's a closing door
You don't live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you've been

And tell your heart to beat again
Let every heartbreak
And every scar
Be a picture that reminds you
Who has carried you this far
'Cause love sees farther than you ever could
In this moment heaven's working

Everything for your good
Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday's a closing door
You don't live there anymore

Say goodbye to where you've been
And tell your heart to beat again
Your heart to beat again
Beat again
Oh, so tell your heart to beat again

Day 10 or 365 days of solace: Heartbreak or sunshine- we can be at peace

After my usual morning of breakfast with my son, reading, doing laundry, etc...then getting him on the school bus, I sat down to my computer. I am usually found here, with my Math work-- but my first priority are things like scriptures, BYU speeches, and such.  I find that when I put God first, the other things in my life work out well.

There was a nearby book, which I purchased, but have not taken the time to read through,  "Women of the New Testament"by Camille Fronk Olson. It is a beautifully written and illustrated book, and I recommend the Old Testament version too! As I reached to open the large book, I had a prayerful desire in my heart that Heavenly Father would give me a special message.

I opened to page 128 and began reading. I found the contrast of Zacharias and Elizabeth, very interesting.  Here are two very righteous people, but Zecharias is skeptical and unbelieving of just how powerful God can be.  When the angel told Zacharias the he would have a son, and thus his priesthood power would be passed through his line to a son, he did not think it possible!

Elizabeth, on the other hand, did not need convincing! Here are a few of my favorite excerpts from the book:

"When God sent a messenger to signal that their prayers would soon be answered, however, this righteous man (Zacharias) reasoned it could not be; Elisabeth was past the age of child bearing. He was consequently rendered mute."

"...unlike Zacharias, (Elisabeth) showed no sign of unbelief or skepticism, but only of deep gratitude.   Despite the onus of responsibility that was hers for failing to bear a child, she recognized that God was not humiliating her or punishing her, but had always had a plan for her."

"...she knew that her suffering and humiliation in her childlessness were not willed by God, but were a product of living in a fallen world. God was not the cause of her suffering, but her deliverance from public disgrace."

 "Steady and prolonged faith. Elisabeth's faith in God was steadfast during circumstances that were humiliating and painful. Her patience and trust were in God's timetable, not her own.  She accepted that God was mindful of her and through her could do great things. Her advanced age underscored the strength of her faith, even though she had not been granted her heart's desire for decades. her assurance reflects a peaceful conviction of God's goodness, no matter what the future held. ....Elisabeth exemplifies one who looks to God for a reason to hope, even amid long years of uncertainty and disappointment."

"Like Elisabeth, many of us may discover that God's greatest blessings come near the end of a faithful life.  In that moment ,he also shows us that he was responding with love to our prayers all along." 

I just keep thinking about how they were both two very righteous people, but each had their own lessons to learn. God applied necessary demands to each of their own lives.

• For a season, Zacharias became mute, and unable to be the voice representing his family name.
• Elisabeth experiences a great deal of social humiliation and personal devastation, during a time of longing and loneliness.

I can't help considering what they learned about themselves, one another, and about God during their trials.

• Did Zacharias grow to understand the significance of God in his life, in not just the greater and miraculous way, but in the things he took for granted- like the capacity to speak (and maybe even hear!)?
• Did Elisabeth learn greater, more righteous humility than she had before her affliction of being childless, in a culture were that reflected a woman's value?  Did this experience help Elisabeth grow in a greater trust in the divine power of God, where no one except God could offer her solace?

I consider Elisabeth's life, and my life, and I know that we do learn from the hardships and trials of life-- IF WE LET THOSE TRIALS WORK TO OUR LEARNING AND BENEFIT.

As I read this verse in the Book of Mormon the other day, I considered how it is a choice on our part to find the good in our afflictions, or to wish to die, because we aren't courageous enough to face the darkness of mortal experiences.  

"But behold this my joy was vain, for their sorrowing was not unto repentance, because of the goodness of God; but it was rather the sorrowing of the damned...." 

"And they did not come unto Jesus with broken hearts and contrite spirits, but they did curse God, and wish to die...."
Mormon 2:13-14

Whenever I read that verse, I always recommit myself to trying to find the good, in situations that feel
so very hard in the moment.  It takes a lot of prayer, and diligent study and service, but Heavenly Father teaches me through the pain.

Life is filled with sorrows, and heartache, but if we look to God in humility, we can find courage and peace to face whatever comes our way.  I haven't shared a song lately, and this just played into my thoughts.  I think this beautiful song represents how we can accept the heartbreaks of life, but not with the plan to remain heartbroken, but with the hope to create new and brighter homes!  And, like Belle, we will eventually see a fulfillment of our dreams, in even the most unlikely circumstances!



My prayer is that you and I will fight against the darkness of life, with hope and courage.  We will not always understand God's purposes in the moment.  We won't always understand how he allows some things to happen to us, but I have a strong testimony that he can take weak things, and painful situations in our lives, and make us strong through those things.  God is a God of miracles, and we must hold out hope- be it years, or a lifetime- He will keep His promises to those who love Him!

Christine