Day 4 of 365 Days of Solace

I went to bed around 2 am. I needed to finish studying my Math.  It is growing harder.   I am thankful though, because Heavenly Father continues to bless my mind to learn and understand things I never could do in high school.  I especially stayed up late, because I am teaching my Pathway.lds.org class tonight, and I wanted to understand the materials I cover!

Of course, as luck would have it, my crazy boys woke up earlier than usual, and were playing rough and tumble in their room!  Knowing I needed to get them ready for school. 

I sat on the edge of my bed, and prayerfully gave thanks for Heavenly Father's blessings.  I prayed I would have His strength to move forward in appreciation for my many blessings.  I prayed for special friends and family, but also prayed for the suffering men, women, and children in this world- who have struggles unimaginable to my sense of safety and well being. 

When I'd finished speaking to my Father, I tiredly moved off the bed, and felt confidence that  I would make it through another day. 

I went in to my boys room, to see what they were up to-- with all their crazy hoots, giggles, and chattering.  When I opened the door, I saw two underwear boys jumping around the bed. I loved the soft morning light upon their skin. It was a glimpse of joyful delight for life.  Oh, that we should all enjoy life with such vigor!

One of my daughter's stayed home today, because she didn't want to go skiing with her school.  She joined my little kindergartner and I, to the care center. We go there each week and do crafts, singing, or exercise with the residents.  It's been a special experience, though no two times are ever the same, because they are dementia/ almzeimer patients. 

On our walk there (we don't have a working van anymore), I

discovered some metal lawn art that was thrown away. I retrieved it from the trash can.  And we continued to the care center.  

We had a pleasant time, making chicky eggs- a craft I've made with my children, and the preschool children I used to work with.  I didn't take a photo of the residents, for privacy sake- but here's a photo of my children and I.  (The egg I'm holding is one I helped a resident make, but she chose the placement of the flowers.  Activities have to be very simple for them.)

My little girl and I, waited for M to catch  his afternoon Kinder bus, and then she and I walked home.  I suggested we paint the roses, because I wanted her to have special Mama time.  Having time with children has to be consciously made-- in my opinion!  Especially where I have 5 children (ages 6-17), and go to school.  I love my children to play outside all year round, but I need to make sure they feel my influence, and not just that of there friends.

As I walked to the bus stop I heard, "Don't worry, be happy.." I am trying...but it's so hard to feel happy, when you are a ball of emotions!

My sweet H and I made homemade pizza from scratch.  She actually did it all herself, from a recipe she had gotten from her church "Activity Girl Days" group.  In the "Mormon" church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints--Learn more at this link https://www.mormon.org/),

Activity Girls Day are fun experiences that help these sweet girls from ages 8-11 develop faith in God, friendships, and talents.  She had made bread at a recent activity, and was excited to use her recipe.  (This recipe doesn't make enough dough for a large family- but it was great for lunch, and had snack left overs from children coming home a couple of hours later. If you make it, also know that it's not a sweet  bread dough- like the recipe I shared a couple of days ago. I personally like it sweeter!:)

What it began like!

what it looked like when we finished!

It might seem like coincidence, but I believe Heavenly Father knew that I would pull those lawn ornaments out of the trash. The lid was almost completely closed on the trash can, but my eye caught a hold of a small glimpse of something small, which I doubt few people would have noticed...but He knows my gift for detail.  

Being able to paint with my daughter brightened my spirits even more!  I expressed gratitude to him that I could do that with H. 

Oh....but back to the bread dough- my little H made the soft, wonderful bread all by herself, and then she made a stuff crust pizza with it!

As I walked down to finally sit back down to my Math quiz and school work, I heard the song- "Pretend you're happy when you're blue, it isn't very hard to do." I thought... "He must not have known what real sadness is! I don't think it's that easy!"  

It was wonderful to see m sweet H doing dishes.  I  She rarely does dishes, but it was good practice.  And her big sister and I will especially appreciate if she learns to do a good job at doing the dishes.  (I'd say her big brother- but he'd rather clean toilets than do dishes!)

My neighbor just stopped by to see when a good time for me to go visiting teaching was (in our church women 18 and older have assigned visiting teachers- to teach, visit, and care for the church members.  So no one is ever left to be forgotten--and great friendships are formed.)  My children ran off to play, as we stood in the beautiful sunlight to talk.  

As I walked in, I realized I didn't feel that sick feeling, and I was genuinely smiling. In fact, I'd even forgotten temporarily all the questions and concerns that have been so pervasive this days. 

I feel so thankful to feel God's light and love upon my heart and mind.  As I keep moving forward seeking his word through scriptures, prayers, service, and giving thanks to Him for my many blessings, He in turn helps me to feel solace.  

I know my long journey isn't over, and I will still feel a full gamut of emotion, but I am choosing to be especially thankful that I feel a good deal of comfort today.  I must not allow myself to be consumed with fear, because God is greater than the strength of any man or woman.  Here's a song I love to think upon, because I know it's true!!  We have angel armies protecting us!

Doctrine and Covenants 78:18 

And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.

I hope you are looking for things to praise God for. Trust Him. Things aren't going to go permanently wrong if you are keeping God's commandments! (And, if you are not-- then it's time to change your life! It's never to late to repent and turn to God. Never!)

Love, Christine

Happy New Year 2015! :)

Last night at nearly midnight (I'm a bit of a night owl!!), I finished painting my bathroom a beautiful When I began painting I was feeling so happy and productive. As I worked, the little angel on my shoulder whispered happy songs in my ear of how great I was doing at working so hard today, and finishing up almost everything I can, for now, in the basement!) But, somewhere between the happy songs and productive, satisfied feeling, I started listening to the other voice on the other shoulder!! (I speak purely metaphorically! Not literally!) And the other voice wasn't an angel! 

shade of blue.

Indeed, I found myself mulling over unsettling situations in various corners of my life and circles of contacts. Regarding one such situation, I found myself deciding I wouldn't go to my church next Sunday. Then I decided, "No, I won't go for at least 2 weeks." I wanted to prove a point! As I painted, I prayed and asked Heavenly Father if it would be alright if I were to skip my ward. After all, I pointed out to him, "Isn't there room for just a little harmless pride." I just knew that such a behavior really wouldn't affect anyone but me. Right? And Besides, I continued to express to Him, "I'll still go to another church time--- just not my own."

Well, for the record, God did not speak back. He just listened to me express the hurts of my heart. I asked myself, why I should let 1 or a few people cause me to question my value for even a moment, or cause me to feel flustered by certain dynamics.) 

I really didn't need God to say, "Hey look, Christine-- just let it go (insert music outburst here... "Let it Gol! Let it Go!!  For as I silently continue to pray I already knew my answers. I knew that the most important opinion I need to worry about is Him--and not anyone else.

And though I didn't hear any audible replies, I did find myself recalling the scripture which says:

Philippians 4:12

I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: 

every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry,

both to abound and to suffer need. 

Well, I don't happen to like being "abased." I much favor feeling at peace, contently thankful, and happy! Being abased, by definition means to be humiliated, dishonored, defamed, belittled. I've never handled those things too well! 

Somehow, as my mind was drawn to the scripture, I also found that my thoughts were able to move past the sting, rejections, and hurt, which to that time I'd been allowing myself to focus on. I also found that I was able to move past the sour taste of this particular topic. Instead, I found myself considering just how blessed I was to be able to have the strength to paint, work with energy, and cumulatively change my life. I felt thankful for divine direction, and the grace- which truly enables and affords me so many blessings. Yes, there in the unlikely confines of my small bathroom, my heart felt full as I considered how I have reached a place in my life that I never imagined possible for the likes of me.

In truth, I used to imagine, and pray, that Oprah would step in and save me and my family with one of her big dreams come true shows. Now I see that I needed to give my life and will to God, and become humbled and hard working. He has given me all the tools I needed to change FROM WITHIN- and it turns out I did not need to be an Oprah success story!

My bathroom is now painted and I'm amazed to realize that my greatest satisfaction didn't come from a sense of accomplishment in finally getting the bathroom painted-- but in the knowledge that I was able to face that battle against my unseen opponent of pride and vain imagination, and come out a victor! A champion against my weaknesses.

Here we all are, on the verge of a new year. You may face, as did I, unseen enemies, or you may face very real and very strong opponents in your daily battles. Whatever you face, please understand that a very loving Heavenly Father is ready to stand at the front of your battle line, and help to fight your battles with you, and for you.

The amount of help God gives us is, in large part, determined by us. It's not so simple as saying, "Please fight my battles for me and with me." It requires our personal discomfort, sacrifice, and self-discipline. We have to decide that we want to improve and change our lives. We have to want to give our troubles, stubbornness, and rebellions to Him, and allow Him to teach us how to be peaceable in all the scenarios we face in life--be they sweet and pleasant, or humiliating and degrading.

I hope that you will remember that you are loved perfectly by Heavenly Father. He sees you in everything you do, and he knows you better than your dearest friend. The feelings of His heart extend beyond our limited understanding. He is filled with tenderness, love, longing, and mercy for each one of us. Heavenly Father has a special plan for your life. Dreams waiting to be written, and songs yet to sing. No matter what darkness some of you may be facing, or will yet face, there is a beautiful sunrise waiting for you. Sunrises of a new day, filled with new beginnings.

I know those colorfully painted words of mine may sound too flowery for you. You may even doubt what I say. But, I cannot deny that I have seen of God's goodness, and felt of His love. I have had glimpses into the capacity of His almighty hand. Through Jesus Christ, I am redeemed, and through His all encompassing atonement I have the capacity and potential to co-author marvelous dreams of a personal paradise here on earth. I never dreamed I would be able to do so, but now I can't help but sing a song of His redeeming love. I am truly blessed, and grateful for my testimony of God's love for me, and for each one of us, individually.

In closing, let me share some of the words from a BYU speech I listened today, given by an amazing man in 1973. Some of you know Him! Gordon B. Hinckley!

"It is so easy to get discouraged while you’re here. It seems so natural a thing to drop out or to give in. The way seems so long, the road so steep, that we are prone to think it not worth the candle. The story is told of the Irish peddler who wished to go to Dublin, which was so far away and he had no money. But he got there by placing one foot in front of the other."

"My dear young friends, never lose faith in yourselves or in your capacity to do worthwhile things. And call upon the Lord for help that your minds may be enlightened and your understanding quickened. Then go to work with that assurance inside of you that somehow you can do it."

".... for “if ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you” (Matthew 17:20). Such is the promise of the Lord Jesus Christ. This, my brethren and sisters, is what our presence ... is all about: that faith might increase and be manifest and reflected in our lives..."

You are loved! Keep firm in faith, and take the necessary steps forward to meet your goals. Happy New Year!
Christine