"Sorrows forgot, love's purest joys remain"

Just now, at 2:08 pm, I heard these words from an LDS hymn ""Sorrows forgot, love's purest joys remain." How sweet they are to my heavy heart.

1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Text: Katharina von Schlegel, b. 1697;
trans. by Jane Borthwick, 1813-1897====

Today I'm feeling a bit low as I was struck with some insight of those I call friends. And it is hurting my heart. There is rarely anything that can be done when someone wrongs us, or misunderstands us. What we can do is kneel to pray, and that is just what I have done this morning.

I knelt and told Heavenly Father that I know he has all power. I prayed for greater meekness and humility. I prayed to be at peace when there are people who are not completely kind to me. I prayed that they might understand me better, but I prayed to ultimately accept His will, even when they don't understand. I told Him how thankful I am for his protection and blessings, and I listened to several things I'm grateful for. I told Him that I trust him completely, and I prayed that I would give all my fears into his hands.

I prayed many things, and I took comfort in kneeling before my creator. I took comfort in knowing that He has truly blessed me and directed my life this far. I know He will continue to do so, as I give my will to Him, and as I do my part for righteousness.

Of course, God does have all power, but he also respects our agency. He won't make us be good. He won't make us walk a certain road. But when we do listen to His Spirt, and walk circumspectly before Him, He rejoices. He delights in granting us blessings, which stem out of our righteous efforts, and our willingness to give Him all we have and are.

My husband and children--with a photo bomber on the far left!! True Story!

Those few words that God brought into my mind seem so simple, yet are so profound. As we walk through the darkness, the fear and sorrow can be all-consuming. And yet, when we step back into the light of joy and comfort, the depth and expanse of those sorrows are almost completely forgotten.

It's that way with childbirth too. I experienced a great deal of agonizing pain in my 5 deliveries of my children, but now I can remember so little of what I felt. If I do remember, I can express the details only on a logical level- not on the emotional or physical level of what I was going through! It's amazing how joy can wipe away those memories of pain!

There are just going to be days we don't feel our happiest. That's part of life. On those days you may do some of what I try to do... pray, read scriptures, clean & organize in my home, listen to BYU devotionals or LDS General Conference Talks, walk, sew, draw, or listen to happy music. Those things are healthy ways to process emotional pain, and they will hopefully help as they do me.

But ultimately we must elevate out thoughts to see beyond the storms of this moment. We must tell ourselves positive, grateful, hopeful thoughts. Thoughts that declare that God will give us the strength to get through. Words that declare that Jesus Christ saved us through His atonement and that with His power we will be victorious!

But, at this moment, I can honestly say that I can hardly wait until "loves purest joys remain!" :)

Hugs!
Christine

Day 261 of 365 days of Solace: Johnny Lingo, lessons, and Love

Tonight I showed my children a movie they have not seen before. I own it, but wasn't sure I wanted to introduce the alcoholic father theme to them.

I asked my two youngest what happens when they drink alcohol. My newly turned 7 year old said, "They die." I explained that over time because it destroys the liver, but that is not what happens immediately.  

My 9 year old struggled to find the word, but then remembered it, "They get drunk."  "Yes," I replied, and I proceeded to talk about the effects of alcohol on the brain and body. 

I also talked about how people who make movies try to make it seems funny to see someone acting drunk, but that it really isn't funny because it's hurting the person, and it's very addictive.  Of course I talked about a few other things, like our religious belief in the "Mormon" church (The Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints).

Some of you may think this is strange, but I want my children to enjoy the innocence of youth. I do not tell them all the lifestyles and choices live. Instead I focus on the blessings that come from living a life that is virtuous before Heavenly Father.  

Having values and Christ-based traditions will bless them as they grow and realize how much turmoil and confusion is in the world. If I do my part as a parent to loving teach and nurture them in the ways of Jesus Christ, they will indeed understand the blessings of this scripture which says:

"And we ^atalk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we ^bprophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our ^cchildren may know to what source they may look for a ^dremission of their sins.)" (2 Nephi 25:26)

 As my children get older they are going to understand more, and yes, lose their innocence to some degree.  I'm trying to do my best to help my children see the beauty and goodness in the world and in people, before they realize just how much sorrow exists.

This movie, The Legend of Johnny Lingo, was actually a perfect teaching tool.

 Afterward we talked about how this young boy and young girl didn't really know their true value or identity. They believed the lying words of what other said about them. They

internalized the cruelty, unkindness, circumstantial trials, and poverty, believing what these things seemed to teach them of their identity

In the end that boy grew to be someone of righteous power and influence and that girl was recognized as the most virtuous jewel of the island! Quite a turn around from their former circumstances

After the movie I had something of an epiphany as we had family scripture together. My daughter read for us in 1 Nephi 21 (compare to Isaiah 49) where it reads:

 2 And he hath made my mouth like a sharp ^asword; in the shadow of his hand hath he hid me, and made me a polished shaft; in his quiver hath he hid me;

I got excited when I heard her read this verse and I had her go back and repeat it. I then explained it as I understand it. Which is is that Jesus Christ came to this earth and following the natural course of his mortal body he grew into manhood. From his youth he had a gift of speaking wisdom and understanding. (a "mouth like a sharp sword")

And yet, even in his wisdom those (with exception to a very few) around Jesus did not see him as for who He was-- the Messiah, who had come to save his people, and the world!

Instead His people tried to attach an identity to Christ, which was ordinary, such as when they asked,

"Is not this the ^acarpenter, the son of Mary, the ^bbrother of James, and Joses, and of Juda, and Simon? and are not his sisters here with us? And they were offended at him."  (Mark 6:3 KJV)

Can you believe it?! They tried to label Christ's identity and value as nothing special, even worthless! 

And yet, in this process of growth and experience the Savior was figuratively in the "shadow," in that he was not initially recognized for WHO HE was (and IS!). His people did not recognize Him, nor identify the perfect, omniscient care of God, our Heavenly Father, who did kept Christ in the "shadow of His hand  (and) hid" Him. I believe that the Savior was protective so hidden.
If Heavenly Father had wanted His son to be more easily recognizable don't you think he would have created him to be born into a higher social standing, and given him the face and beauty of an angel. After all, the corruption of society basis value on beauty!

Wouldn't having status and beauty been an easy way to get the attention of the world?  Yes, surely! But those things would have impeded the real purpose of Christ's mission on earth. Christ was hidden in what seemed physical and social imperfection. He seemed to have all the odds against his success. And yet it was in fact those very odds which helped Christ to be "polished" and prepared for His redemptive, atoning sacrifice and crowning glory! 


Nothing easily gained can be truly treasured! Those who seek to know Christ and willingly face any sacrifice, sorrow and persecution in that endeavor, also know that part of treasuring Christ in our hearts is having paid the price to know and appreciate that sacred gift of testimony that He is the son of God, and our Savior and Redeemer!




When I read this segment "and made Christ a polished shaft; in his quiver hath he hid (Him)," I think about a rock polisher, which turns and grinds rocks in a small container and with fine grit intermixed with the rocks they rub, hit, and tumble into the other rocks and in the process are polished through what would seem a painful experience. 

But that tumbling and turning is what helps the rocks to become shiny and polished! I read about Christ's polishing and hiding to show that Christ was figuratively "polished, but also hidden away in the supreme creator's figurative warrior bag (represented by a weapon of war--an arrow in a quiver), and awaiting his warrior action on the front line. 



Now, I'm no expert in rocks or arrows, but imagine, if you will that The Creator, God the Father, has a quiver (bag/pouch/sack) filled with finely crafted, polished, sharpened arrows (representing men and women of
righteousness who fight off evil and influence others for good), but this uniquely special arrow spoken of in this verse is His son Jesus Christ was saved and hidden until our God, the divine warrior (so to speak), was ready to pull this arrow (His son) out of the quiver and put his marksmanship against evil to its ultimate aim---the freeing of His children from sin and damnation (being cut off from the presence of God).  Talk about the ultimate secret weapon against sin!!

As my daughter read this scripture I realized that applications of this singular verse compared not only to the movie, but my own life! 

Can you imagine a bag filled with strong, beautifully crafted arrows? Can you now imagine anyone in this world who has ever lived, or lived now, who is an arrow of God--straight, righteously beautiful, trustworthy, and focused on the sole duty of allowing God to aim and shoot wherever God points? Can you understand how Gods aim is perfect, and how he seems to know how to work with an arrow that is resistant or hesitant? Sometimes you may wonder why the arrow lands as it does, or why we find we've been shot into an

unpleasant place, and yet God in His perfect wisdom can create "beauty for ashes" (Isaiah 61:1–3)?! Just as He did with Christ, He too can do with us!

There is no "arrow" (person), as perfect as Jesus Christ, but I can certainly think of men and women who have blessed my life because they were willing to be carried in the quiver of God and let His perfect marksmanship point the way they should fly through the battlefield of life. 


Isn't it exciting to think that, like Christ, our lives may not initially seem of great value or purpose and yet we have a seedling of understanding that helps us feel that there is more to our existence that just barely surviving the trials of life, and then dying??!

Doesn't it make you consider how the cruely and unkindness of people and circumstance may actually be polishing you and I, and helping us protect us and polish us, so that we can ultimately "fill the measure of (our) creation"?! (compare to Doctrine and Covenants 49:17 and Doctrine and Covenants 88:19) 

The "measure" of our lives will never equally compare to the grand scale as Jesus Christ, but whatever good we do here on earth will affect the eternal significance of ourselves and others that we have positively influenced!

You and I are in the process of something great, but we need to look to God and let him teach us where he wants us to aim the unique gifts of quiver and arrows that he has given us stewardship over for our personalized journeys.

"You are not forgotten."

".... wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you with an infinite love."

"Just think of it: You are known and remembered by the most majestic, powerful, and glorious Being in the universe! You are loved by the King of infinite space and everlasting time!"

"He who created and knows the stars knows you and your name!" 

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/forget-me-not?lang=eng&_r=1 

As you look for the witnesses of God's love for you, I am certain that you will have a glimpse into knowing that you are LOVED and of GREAT WORTH!









To close with a quote from The Legend of Johnny Lingo: 

"....love is a most costly commodity. The more you are willing to pay, the more valuable the prize. The question is, are you willing to pay the price?" 

Let us all be willing to pay the price for true love. A love which protects, polishes, and points us heavenward!  

Christine

Day 193 of 365 days of Solace: Death on the Sabbath

I knew a friend of mine in her 80's was dying and I planned to go do something nice for her, but I hadn't gotten to her house to see her in the last few weeks since I learned of her cancer. I guess I thought she had longer to live. But today at church when my Relief Society President, and Bishop asked us to pray she would be quickly free of pain and return home to heaven I knew I had to go get one last hug from her--if possible. I considered going right after church, but I was empty handed and wanted to take her something to brighten her day. So I came and sat on my bed and with tearful emotion I considered all the times she filled my empty cup.

I hurried to finish my painting and poem for her, well knowing she could pass away at any moment. My son, who had gone earlier today to take the sacrament to her said that when they went she was unable to eat anything, and that there was a lot of family there (Meaning, in his teenage way NOT to bug them!;)

Undaunted, I knew I wanted to try to see her one last time. But I have to tell you, that as I finished up gluing my poem onto a quick watercolor rainbow sunshine picture (with 2 suns--the smaller one representing her, and the larger one representing God) I remembered the thought I had before I wrote the poem, which was: It's alright if she has passed away before you finish it because it will comfort her family to remember how loved she is.

When I walked up to her house around the block, I discovered a lot of cars and when I asked if she was well enough for me to give her a last hug I learned that she has passed away not to long before. I hugged some family and handed my poem and tearfully walked away wondering how I'd feel about going back to church with her no longer to return. :(

Here's the poem I wrote. Not a masterpiece, but it's everything Carol has been to me, and so many others! She was a one of kind woman.

Carol, enjoy soaring with your husband, my Mom, Tyler, Susan, and so many loved ones in God's peaceful and joyful courts above. I'll miss you.
=========

*This song comforts me. And Carol showed the Savior's loving kindness. I know that in time all aches will be soothed and healed through the power of Christ. I'm thankful for the reminders Carol always showed me of His love.

I wish I could go back in time and visit her before she passed away, but time moves on. I take comfort in knowing that she knew of my love, and even more comfort in knowing that she knows even now how many of us mourn her loss. I know the veil between heaven and earth is very thin.

The angels rejoice at reuniting with their angels, and we weep at her departure, but I take comfort in knowing that I too will see her, and all those I love, again one day-- after my frail mortal body is laid to rest. In the meantime I am going to fight with my every breath to live in a way to please God, and to show Him all my love, and give him all my will.  I want to make a difference in this world, like she did.

Let's renew our efforts to do a little more today than we did yesterday!

Love, Christine

Day 162 of 365 days of Solace: A Weeping Walmart Stranger

I've been working on a photography project, and it's kept me too busy too blog! But I wanted to drop a quick line about an experience I had tonight.

I headed toward walmart to pick of my 8x10 prints for a temple photo shoot I did last week.  As I drove I prayed aloud to Heavenly Father. I find those are my best, most heartfelt prayers because I'm not distracted, or hurting by kneeling on my knees! ;) 

No really, for some reason I just pour out my heart more easily as I drive. (Maybe it's because I pray aloud, and I don't always do that as I kneel.) Tonight was no exception. I told God about my sorrows, and joys, and before I knew it I was in tears as I spoke about the love I feel in my heart. I thanked him for filling my heart with that love, especially when I never thought I would know love in this life.

I formally closed my prayer with a "in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen" before I got out of my car. But, of course, my prayers never really cease because I want to give my heart and life to the will of God, and if I remember to always have a prayer in my heart, then I'm more likely to make good choices, and be accountable to God. 

Well, I digress...

I walked into Walmart, as I wiped the last few tears from my eyes, and I look over to see a Walmart associate walking quickly down the front aisle and turning to head to the back of the store. She had a tissue in hand, and was wiping her nose. I looked to see if she had just sneezed, or had allergies, but the expression on her face was much like the one I'd had as I drove there. She had that open mouth, anguished look, and she was taking heaving breaths.  

I wondered, "What can I do?"  I hurried my pace, to an almost run.  I came up behind her (she hadn't even noticed me), and I threw my right arm around her, and said, "I'm so sorry you are feeling sad." 

I kept my arm around her, as I kept pace with her. She looked over at me, made a puzzled expression, like, "Who are you, and why are you being so nice to me?" 

I quickly filled in her silence, and said, "I was crying, just like you are now, as I drove here.  I can't help but wonder if it has something to do with Walmart!" She cracked a smile.  I proceeded, "Do you have a support system to help you through this hard time?" She sincerely spoke and said "Yes, I have three wonderful supports at home." I told her I was so happy to hear that, and as I turned to head down another aisle, I added, "I'll be praying for you hon." She thanked me, and we parted ways.

I felt so very thankful that I had the right words for the situation. God helped me to have quick thoughts of what to say.  

I also felt thankful that I could comfort this woman, who seemed to feel much like me. 

I felt thankful that God had placed in my path, with his perfect timing, a woman that I could uniquely give some assurance to.  

I felt comforted by giving comfort.

I felt the Spirit witness to me that by serving others, I am showing God's love on earth. And I felt His love for me because I am willing to show His love.

I am not the woman I used to be. I used to think more about how I felt than about how others felt I didn't comfort others very well because I thought about myself too much, instead of wondering how God could use my hands and heart for the good of others.  

We  can each have regular opportunities like I had tonight. There are chances all around us. They may be  small things, like putting your arm around a stranger and saying you will pray for them, or it may be visiting an elderly person in a care center.  But, if you look for meaningful ways to give your time to others, and pray to have charity, you will begin to see that there is hope in life, even where it seems hopeless.  

You must hold on to hope. Hope helped me overcome depression. Hope in Christ, and in His love, is what keeps me moving forward through the sometimes very dark days of life.

Seek the Lord in prayer, and he will bless you with hope and strength to face life,

Christine

Day 54 of 365 days of solace

I have something troubling me-- yes, of course, it has to do with the thing that has troubled me for a long time now. For that reason, I've felt so terribly worried and sad today. Silently, I remained in my room most of the day. I sorted and organized drawers, paper, and purses. (I have a collection of colors).

Right now as I type I heard (silently into my thoughts) the piano intro of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight."  I've been comforted today, through a variety of songs playing into my thoughts. I'm thankful for that solace, and yet I can't seem to escape the emotional turmoil I am feeling. Turmoil based solely on fear of what could happen--but hasn't happened.

It would be easy for me to give up on trying and hoping for "good things to come," but that is not my way.  God has given me a new heart, because I turned to Him, and changed my life through the power of Jesus Christ's atonement.  Through the grace of God, I can do all things!

We must press forward.  We must remain

diligent to God.  For that reason I will still study more scriptures before I go to bed.  For that reason I will continue to pray unto my Father all day long.  For that reason I will be valiant in Christ until the day I die.  

“In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). 

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. [Romans 8:38–39]

No matter what challenges and heartaches you face, you will be alright, if you face them with God's help.  Say your prayers each day, study the scriptures, go to church, and then, in the quiet moments of the day...listen...for songs, thoughts, scriptures, hopeful memories, or the hand of a friend, who reaches out to help you in kindness...God will offer comfort, but we must be paying close attention.
Love, Christine

P.S. I did get out tonight. We got Little Caesar's pizza, and went to a playground with our new puppy.  I sat in the car, because I'm so sad, still sick, and was working on school work...but at least I made a small effort and got out...that's a good thing, right?!

Day 31 of 365 days of Solace- Wednesday-

My arm is semi-working today, so I was finally able to wash my hair!  A big deal when you are in

excruciating pain in your right shoulder!  I still have pain, and it hurts to rotate my arm, but if I take things slow, I'm okay! Hooray!

It's been the usual morning... breakfast, stories, homework, and play time with my 6 year old son.  A lot of times we also tidy up together around the house... but today I am more concerned with my finals, and apparently with reading!

I've really become fascinated in reading These books called "Women of the Old Testament," and "Women of the New Testament."  It seems that whenever I sit down and randomly open in either one of these books, I open up to something which I can relate to, or need to read.

Today I have been reading about Hannah, from the Old Testament.  Two paragraphs stood out at me.

"....Hannah manifested here sorrow in frequent crying and a loss of appetite. Her husband, Elkanah, cherished here, but his attention and love did not fill the void in her life. Her priesthood leader, the high priest Eli, misunderstood her and accused her falsely. Hannah came to realize that no one could assuage the emptiness in her life but the Savior. Her despondency and awareness of her nothingness therefore became an important catalyst that led Hannah to discover the Lord's teachers for her. Through His compassionate acceptance and limitless strength, God helped this Israelite woman recognize that she could contribute to the Lord's work and have a fruitful life whether she ever gave birth or not.  In the apostle Peter's perspective, one is not barren unfruitful if she abounds in faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, brotherly kindness, and charity.  These Christlike attributes are available to everyone and will fill every void in one's life (2 Peter 1:5-8)"

(Women of the Old Testament by Camille Fronk Olsen.Deseret Book 2009, page 127) 

I loved reading this, because it is so true that we may be misunderstood or unfairly judged- yes, even
by long time friends, and church leaders. It is important to act with grace, even where we are wronged and no apology is forthcoming. It is far more important to confirm our testimony of God, through our words and actions in each day of our life- than to worry if we receive credit for what we do right, or to have apology for what others may wrongly accuse of us.

How true are the following words from this same book:

"Eventually, Hannah was blessed with several children; however, she was filled with the grace of the Lord before she bore any.  When she found the power of the Atonement in her life, she was full and fruitful and could give back to the Lord all that she possessed. Without vanity or complacency, Hannah's sacrifice revealed her independence as well as her awareness o the need for God.  Some of us will never bear children, some will never marry, some will never have a happy marriage, and some will never have good health in this life. But every one of us can be fruitful and filled with the power of Jesus Christ. When we find Him, like Hannah, we will lose our life in doing His work. That is His promise to all of us."
(page 142-143)

We grow from childhood to adulthood with ideas of what we envision for our life.  When those things don't happen we often fail like failures (as did Hannah), or we think life has nothing happier to offer us.  But those pressures and lies of the devil and society are not true!  Each one of us can "Bloom where we are planted," no matter what the circumstances we are in. Each day is a choice to change our reaction to our attitudes, and consequently we can change many circumstance.  BUT, if some things are not able to be changed, we can find peace through the Lord.

In this process of looking to God and our Savior for solace, we will discover that our empty fountains are being filled with the sweet, refreshing and satisfying water of divine and purifying love.  Love which flows freely into our spirits through the gift of the atonement of Jesus Christ, and which love surges through us, and heals us of our infirmities and afflictions. There is no wound too deep, or sin so scarlet that the Savior cannot bind us up and heal.

Take comfort and accept that you are loved as an individual, and a divine child of promise!
Christine

Day 3 of 365 days of solace

I went to bed by 9 pm last night.  As a night owl, that bedtime is virtually never been said of me.  But I have determined that if I can sleep, I can temporarily not have to feel the anguish of my spirit.  I don't sleep perfectly, but I don't sleep horribly either.  And when I'm asleep,  I don't notice this persistent stomach ache, and weakness, and fatigue.  My asthmatic cough, which has been lingering longer than normal, is exacerbated by the immense stress I am feeling- but when I'm asleep, that's not a problem either!

Trouble is, as the Mom of the house, everyone depends upon me.  I am determined to provide goodness and love, even though I am suffering within me!

This morning, I opened my emails. My heart dropped to received a calendar notification of a very special event I had planned for the last 2 months.  With a change of things in my life, that event must fall through.  I felt the surge of pain and fear flood my body, and I considered heartbreaking turn of events.  I deleted the email notification, and prayed that Heavenly Father would grant me to power to move forward, despite these new obstacles of life.  Into my thoughts, played this sentence:

Don't be afraid and don't delay 
Nothing can break us
No one can make us
Give our rights away
Arise and seize the dayWrongs will be righted
If we're united 
Let us seize the day


When I heard this, I understood the deeply imbedded meaning of not being afraid, because nothing can break me-- and in being united with God, wrongs will be righted!

I closed the laptop, and read my little boy several children's books, went up and made pancakes with him, and then we cleaned up in the kitchen together.  As we stood at a sink of soapy bubble water, he happily talked to me about things like, "Mom, we should grow our own raspberries." and "we should also plant pumpkins." I agreed, those were great ideas.  They also had a lot to do with our day. I'd made raspberry  

pancakes, and we'd also read a book in Spanish, about a boy who grew a pumpkin seed.  (It shows the impressions our values and behaviors have in the heart and minds of our children.)

After that he showered, and I blew dry his soft, straight hair.  Insisting it had a wave, I carved it carefully with hairspray, and a comb.  He's very particular about his hair.  He's quite a little artist, like me!  It's all in the details, right?! :)

little M reading to me-- notice the story stones

After that, I sat and read through a story from school, which his reading teacher asked him to read through 10 times!  As I collect rocks, he would line them up to count his efforts.  (His own clever idea!)  I considered how in life, we too are placing figurative stones, which in the end will help us return to our loving God (Heavenly Father).  

Despite my inner turmoil, I feel so blessed for my abundance and joys of life. It was a pleasant time with my son, and I thanked Heavenly Father that all my children and husband are part of my life.  Feeling so sick with stress, is not a comfortable feelings, but I know in time the depth of my pain will subside. I will grow stronger out of this... just like the little pumpkin seed in my story.  I know that my heart desires things of God, and he will nurture me, and help me to grow to my full potential...but only in His due time.  

Part of my religious studies today, brought me across a talk. In truth, I heard the word, "beatitude" as I slept. I research it, and found this insightful talk.  I recommend it all, but here is an excerpt:

Blessed Are They That Mourn: For They Shall Be Comforted

I imagine that of all the Beatitudes, this would appear at first glance to be the most unusual and contradictory. At the least it is a very strong paradox. How can it be a blessing to be in mourning?  

To mourn is to show grief or pain at the death of a loved one. To mourn is much more profound than to just be sad. It is a deep, agonizing, penetrating, intense pain that cannot be hid from the world, nor from God, nor can it be eased, nor pacified, except with comfort and consolation from God through the Holy Ghost. Why would the Savior then say it is a blessing to mourn? 

It may be that pain and suffering from the death of loved ones is really an essential and important part of our mortal experience, just like our own death is inevitable some day.  

There seem to come a maturity and a deeper dimension and a more profound understanding when we are left behind. 

 The reality of death obliges us to face the question of the reality of the spirit world and the hope of the resurrection. It is through suffering that one discovers the difference between those things that are important and that which is unimportant in the eternal perspective.It might be that it is a blessing to become more fully aware, through the death of a loved one, that God’s ways are not our ways and that we must trust him in that fact. 

One of my favorite stories with roots in Islamic traditions illustrates that especially in death we need to look for the hidden purposes of the Lord, which, when understood, turn to comfort and blessings.It seems that Moses, being in heaven, wondered about the work of a certain angel who was departing for earth. He asked the angel if he might accompany him on his errand.  

The angel responded, “Nay, thou wouldst not be able to stand that which thou wouldst see.” Moses insisted, so the angel placed a condition. “No matter what thou wouldst see, thou must remain silent.” Moses agreed and the two came to earth. 

They left the borders of dry land and went far out over the sea, even beyond sight of land, where they found some humble fishermen in their boat fishing.  

The angel, unseen, broke the boards of the keel, the boat sank, and the fishermen drowned. Moses started to protest but the angel declared, “Thou must remain silent.” 

Next they came upon an Arab boy walking through the sands of the desert. Unseen, the angel breathed in the boy’s face; his blood froze, and he fell to the earth, dead.  

Moses started to protest but the angel silenced him, “I told thee that thou wouldst not stand what thou wouldst see. Thou must remain silent.” 

Then the two came upon a poor home where lived a widow and her two sons. Their only means of survival was the produce from their small garden, protected against the wind and sands of the desert by a tall adobe wall. 

 To Moses’ surprise the angel pushed the wall over, crushing the vines, melons, and cucumbers, which the family sorely needed. Moses could not stand it any longer. He erupted.  

The angel silenced him and said, “Thou canst go with me no longer. Thou must return. But first, lest thou misjudge Allah who has sent me, I will explain.  

The fishermen would soon have been captured by a pirate boat approaching over the horizon, and been enslaved, tortured, and killed. This way they die in the profession they loved.  

The Arab boy would soon have fought with another mother’s son, killing the latter. This way the second boy lives and this one dies blood guiltless.  

The widow’s husband, before he died, hid a fortune in the base of the adobe wall. Now the boys, rebuilding the wall, will find the fortune, invest it wisely, and prosper.

But thou didst doubt. Thou canst go with me no longer.”When we can see the Lord’s purposes fulfilled in that which gives us sorrow, the Holy Ghost can give us full consolation, and the atonement and resurrection truly become to us the cornerstone of our faith.  

In the midst of mourning one discovers deeper dimensions of love, friendship, and brotherhood. 

In the midst of mourning, one determines if his faith is a social decoration or if it is an essential ingredient upon which his whole life is based. It is in the midst of mourning that one discovers the personal closeness of his Heavenly Father and his Savior Jesus Christ and the comfort of the Holy Ghost. 

 As President McKay used to say, “Man’s extremity is God’s opportunity”  We will be blessed in mourning and be comforted as we reflect on eternal marriage, eternal families, eternal values.https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/robert-e-wells_christ-focused-beatitudes/

A little bit ago, as I sat here typing, I heard a song play into my thoughts. I knew it was my angel Mom, who passed away about 11 years ago, trying to offer me added consolation. Which she did!

"Baby Mine"

Baby mine, don't you cry.
Baby mine, dry your eyes.
Rest your head close to my heart,
Never to part, baby of mine.

Little one, when you play,
Pay no heed what they say.
Let your eyes sparkle and shine,
Never a tear, baby of mine.

If they knew all about you,
They'd end up loving you too.
All those same people who scold you,
What they'd give just for the right to hold you.

From your head down to your toes,
You're not much, goodness knows.
But, you're so precious to me,
Sweet as can be, baby of mine.

I have stepped away from this blog for a few hour. I had to take one son to cubscouts, and pick up another from his State FBLA championship...which I'm happy to say he took first at- and made $400 toward going to Nationals!  Amazing!  I took my youth to the church to plant Mother's Day flowers for a church youth activity.  And so many other things.  I am blessed.  And it is my goal to keep a more careful blog, to help me get through the turmoil of life.  If I can focus on the blessings of God in my life, and feel truly thankful, then I feel certain I can get through this difficult time of my life.

Proverbs 2:2

So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding;

If we incline our ears to the things of God and apply out heart to understand, I know we will be blessed and protected by him!

Christine