Day 70 of 365 days of solace: Sweet song and scripture of comfort

I decided to go up with my family into the canyon. It was last minute, impromptu stuff, which is the way of my artist self.  It took my husband some convincing because he'd had a long, hard day at work.  But ultimately he drove all 7 of us into the canyon.  :)

By the time we got there it was raining!  But we found a site that we love, and it had slowed to a light drizzle.  Another nice man said he, his wife, and son were done with their small gas grill and we could borrow it.  They were going to hang around a while.  I took him up on the offer and he brought the table top grill over to out table.

What a tender mercy, I feel. It allowed us to eat more quickly, not have to search for fire wood that wood burn well, etc... Best of all, we could still enjoy the mountain experience, but get the children home in time for an early bed on a school night.

It was nice to get out of the house, and try to set aside my pressing worry.  I am feeling better today because I've been able to delay something for a couple of weeks. Hopefully by that time a miracle happens, or I'm stronger to face what I think is the inevitable. :(  I was really blessed with the peace of God last night to be at peace. I had my consuming fear removed.  I didn't sleep perfectly, because I did a lot of praying.  But that's fine. I'd rather pray and increase in feelings of trust and peace toward God, than try to deal with my personal suffering alone.

I believe God especially directs and blesses his children and they "incline" their ears and hearts toward Him.

Daniel 9:1818 O my God, incline thine ear, and hear; open thine eyes, and behold our desolations, and the city which is called by thy name: for we do not present our supplications before thee for our righteousnesses, but for thy great mercies.

A few minutes ago I was worried about something, and as I prayed this song quietly came into my thoughts. I don't think I've heard this song in 20 years. It is very sweet, and reminds me that the Spirit of God can bless and direct me if I seek him, listen, and follow His words.


I hope you have faith and trust in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I hope that you prayerfully seek to see the world through the eyes of faith and trust- knowing that God will not fail you.

Let us listen to the "Still, Small voice of God.,
Christine

Gifts of Love

Several years ago my Mom's sister took my oldest daughter to get a Mother's Day gift for me.  My aunt had seen a beautiful gold necklace with pendant in an ad, and intended to have my daughter get that for me. Upon arriving at the jewelry counter, my little girl (about 8 years old) became fascinated with another necklace for me.  My Aunt said that there was no changing K's mind.  She wanted this specific, less quality necklace for me.  My Aunt expressed disappointment when little K was out of earshot.  I'm embarrassed to admit it, and though I didn't express it, I felt disappointment too.  I could imagine the prettier necklace she had described!

I went to put on the necklace to wear to church that Mother's Day Sunday and I paused for a moment, with the necklace laying on my left hand, and I stood and studied it.  I wondered what my little girl had seen in this necklace, which clearly was not a very pretty or quality gold chain, and which the small attached pendant read, "Mom."  I also admit I didn't particularly like it, because it had a word on it.

At that moment I had a subtle, but fascinating experience.  I felt the spirit of God speak to me.  It wasn't an audible voice, just a thought.  The thought was this, "She chose this necklace because to her the word 'Mom' means love."  And even as I had that thought, I felt flooded with feelings of the love she felt for me in choosing it.

You can imagine that brief moment affected my feelings toward that necklace.  I put on that necklace and felt the unspoken message of my little girl's love for me.  To this day I cannot reach for that necklace without feeling the peace of love that can be associated with motherhood.  I've since gotten necklaces that would be
deemed more beautiful, and which are higher quality, but the love I feel from the message of that necklace far surpasses the value of my other necklaces.  It's financial value is minimal in the world's eyes, but it's spiritual value of love is without price.

Do we sometimes look at ourselves, like I did that necklace?  Do we ever think negative things like, "Look how fat/old I look?" "I'm not very pretty/handsome." "I don't really fit in with the people around me, everyone else seems to have it together" "How could anyone love me, my life is so messed up?" You need to know that those thoughts are not from God!  God is the author of love, not of doubts, self-loathing or discouragement.  He wants us to believe in that love, and take hope for our futures.

Unfortunately, I used to think those types of things all the time.  I used to feel like nothing could ever change for me, or get much better in life. I felt I was destined to remain stagnant in sorrow.  In my process of drawing closer to God by making better choices I have learned to see myself more as he does.  More as my little girl did (does!:)...with a whole lot of love!!  Of course, I don't completely understand how other people can love me as much as they do, but through heavenly reassurances I feel in special moments that they do.  Despite my weakness and imperfections,  I am regularly reminded that I am loved.

I am also coming to learn that my life is truly a gift from God.   And I don't mean just the blessing of living and breathing, but the privileges of my husband and children, talents, and yes, even my weaknesses and trials!   I'm afraid that sometimes I look at it my life as I did that necklace from my little girl--with ingratitude or distaste.  I am learning that He placed me on earth in my own unique set of circumstances because He best knows how I can learn to be more like Him.

There is a song we sing our church sing.  Oh how true it is!!

My life is a gift; my life has a plan.
My life has a purpose;
in heav'n it began.
My choice was to come
to this lovely home on earth
And seek for God's light
to direct me from birth.
I will follow God's plan for me,
Holding fast to his word and his love.
I will work, and I will pray;
I will always walk in his way.
Then I will be happy on earth
And in my home above.
Words and music: Vanja Y. Watkins, b. 1938. (c) 1981 IRI

I hope you will look around you and try to see the good in your life.  Pray to be more thankful for your house or apartment, even if it's not where you envisioned your life.  Or look into the eyes of your child and realize how blessed you are to be so loved.  And don't forget to feel happy for the little things...even if it's just something as simple as those beautiful blue shoes you own.

Let's work on showing The Best Giver of Gifts, our Heavenly Father, that we appreciate what He's give to us!!
Christine