Yesterday, I turned in a 28-page research paper to my British Literature class for BYU-Idaho. I worked on it for several weeks and when I finally scoured through it for the 20th time, I submitted it. Despite all the sorrow I've felt lately, I felt a wonderful sense of accomplishment and satisfaction to have completed such a major undertaking. (15-pages was the minimum-- but apparently I had a few more words to say!;)
I felt so grateful for being able to complete it under the severe trial that I face at this time, but I know that Heavenly Father gave me divine help. Even as I read through it there was a part where I had to go back and say, "Hey is that a quote, or did I write that?" because it was Really Good! (It was my own words!:) Of course, I study very hard and I know that the Lord increases my offerings and my ability because I'm willing to keep learning and studying and educating myself about Him, Jesus Christ, the gospel, and about important historic influences on society, and so much more. I love to learn and study.
When I went to bed that night I realized that I feel more at peace than I have in weeks. Oh, I still had my same worry but having that success helped me feel like I'm not totally stagnating in the chaos of life!
From reading her story, I felt strengthened to face my pioneer-like journey with courage-- even though the way before me seems impossible. Like that good sister, I also know that "the road [will] not be easy." I know in some ways I'll have a "careworn life and uncertain future," but I also know that angels will attend to me in my times of need! I've decided to show daily diligence to the Lord so that I too can "fight the good fight!"
I still have a foreboding that things are going to get worse before they get better, but I have decided that I will act on faith because the power of God is not limited like I am. Humankind sets limits on the power of God because we can't think that big, but the power of God is BIG-- it's ENORMOUS and ENDLESS!
Let's trust everything we are and hope to be to Him. He will make things right in the end if we keep our part of the bargain and do our best to live in a way pleasing to God. #Thankful4Repentance
Love, Christine
I felt so grateful for being able to complete it under the severe trial that I face at this time, but I know that Heavenly Father gave me divine help. Even as I read through it there was a part where I had to go back and say, "Hey is that a quote, or did I write that?" because it was Really Good! (It was my own words!:) Of course, I study very hard and I know that the Lord increases my offerings and my ability because I'm willing to keep learning and studying and educating myself about Him, Jesus Christ, the gospel, and about important historic influences on society, and so much more. I love to learn and study.
When I went to bed that night I realized that I feel more at peace than I have in weeks. Oh, I still had my same worry but having that success helped me feel like I'm not totally stagnating in the chaos of life!
During the night something profound happened, I heard some beyond marvelous words of a scripture. I smiled in gratitude, but I was unable to wake my sleeping self and mark it on my cell phone. Hours later I rolled over and I remembered I had heard a scripture, but I couldn't remember it.
I asked a prayer to know what it was. Immediately I heard it. I made this note on my phone: "If God be for us who can be against us" 4:19am. I didn't know where is was from but a search taught me that it's Romans 8:31 of Bible KJV
Now I don't know how you'd feel, but to me it felt like God was saying that He is on my side and that He will protect me. If you knew the circumstances of my life, you would understand why this means to much to me! I felt immensely grateful.
About an hour ago (around 5:30pm) I was studying for my final and the line of that song I shared about forgiveness here at this blog played into my thoughts. I kind of dreaded hearing that again because that song has been a warning before that someone is about to do something tremendously painful. However, I listened and I realized I was hearing this section of the song:
"When the last bell tolls
You'll be free of blame
You can continue to grieve
But know the Gospel is true
You must forgive those who lie
And bless them that curse you Forgiveness."
"When the last bell tolls
You'll be free of blame
You can continue to grieve
But know the Gospel is true
You must forgive those who lie
And bless them that curse you Forgiveness."
I feel certain the message is that in time I will be absolved of false accusation! I rejoice in the thought of that blessed day. For now I will show my complete faith and trust on the power of the Lord to provide and protect me as He sees fit.
"As the Saints prepared to abandon Far West, Phebe Woodruff lay in a roadside inn in western Ohio, suffering from severe headaches and a fever. She and Wilford had been traveling west for two months with the Fox Islands Saints, plodding through snow and rain to reach Zion. Illness had attacked many of the children, including her daughter, Sarah Emma.
. . .Before stopping at the inn, Phebe had been in agony every time the wagon jostled over the rough road. After she almost stopped breathing one day, Wilford had halted the company so she could recover.
Phebe was certain she was dying. Wilford blessed her [We call this a priesthood blessing] and tried everything to relieve her suffering, but the fever grew worse. Finally she called Wilford to her side, testified of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and urged him to have faith amid his trials. The next day, her breathing stopped altogether, and she felt her spirit leave her.
She watched as Wilford gazed down at her lifeless body. She saw two angels enter the room. One of them told her she had a choice to make. She could go with them to rest in the spirit world or return to life and endure the trials that lay ahead.
Phebe knew that if she stayed, the road would not be easy. Did she want to return to her careworn life and uncertain future? She saw the faces of Wilford and Sarah Emma, and her answer came swiftly.
“Yes,” she said, “I will do it!”
As Phebe made her decision, Wilford’s faith was renewed. He anointed her with consecrated oil, placed his hands on her head, and rebuked the power of death. When he finished, Phebe’s breathing returned. She opened her eyes and watched the two angels leave the room."
(found at: https://www.lds.org/study/history/saints-v1/32-though-all-hell-should-endeavor?lang=eng . There are other amazingly powerful stories at this link.)
In reading her story, I felt empathy for her headaches, pain, fatique, and sickness. I am starting to feel better after nearly a full week of illness, but I also know the feelings of fear, worry, sorry which she surely felt during these struggles.
This is really long, but honestly, this is more of a journal (albeit public!) for me. I would be glad to know I could bless the faith of others with my life, but for now I expect I shall read this alone. So I will share a story I just read in a history of my church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.)
. . .Before stopping at the inn, Phebe had been in agony every time the wagon jostled over the rough road. After she almost stopped breathing one day, Wilford had halted the company so she could recover.
Phebe was certain she was dying. Wilford blessed her [We call this a priesthood blessing] and tried everything to relieve her suffering, but the fever grew worse. Finally she called Wilford to her side, testified of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and urged him to have faith amid his trials. The next day, her breathing stopped altogether, and she felt her spirit leave her.
She watched as Wilford gazed down at her lifeless body. She saw two angels enter the room. One of them told her she had a choice to make. She could go with them to rest in the spirit world or return to life and endure the trials that lay ahead.
Phebe knew that if she stayed, the road would not be easy. Did she want to return to her careworn life and uncertain future? She saw the faces of Wilford and Sarah Emma, and her answer came swiftly.
“Yes,” she said, “I will do it!”
As Phebe made her decision, Wilford’s faith was renewed. He anointed her with consecrated oil, placed his hands on her head, and rebuked the power of death. When he finished, Phebe’s breathing returned. She opened her eyes and watched the two angels leave the room."
(found at: https://www.lds.org/study/history/saints-v1/32-though-all-hell-should-endeavor?lang=eng . There are other amazingly powerful stories at this link.)
I still have a foreboding that things are going to get worse before they get better, but I have decided that I will act on faith because the power of God is not limited like I am. Humankind sets limits on the power of God because we can't think that big, but the power of God is BIG-- it's ENORMOUS and ENDLESS! Love, Christine
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please be nice with your comment.