Responsibility, Promises, and Angels

President Monson's talk about the 3 R's, "responsibility" really stuck out at me.  Several years ago, when I decided to own that word, I began to change my life!  Before that point, I had allowed myself to be "acted upon."  It was always something that caused my problems- not me!  I am depressed, therefore my depression is to blame.  That of course, is only one example out of the many.  I lived without accepting that I was the one in control of my destiny.

I relied heavily on others around me, until the day came that no one around me had the answers on where to turn after a heart-shattering experience.  Only the Savior could use the key of the atonement to unlock my prison cell, and pardon me with the peace I needed in my life to move forward.  It's interesting though, because I still remember the day that I was vacuuming down my basement stairs, at a time well before the life-altering experience, and I was contemplating how I could ever be more than I was; which in truth, I didn't figure amounted to much.

I wondered how people could have such strong testimonies, and undaunted spirits of faith and hope.  Little did I realize that in that moment the spirit was preparing my thoughts and helping shape my desires to become more than I had been to that point in my life.   President Monson says, "When faced with significant choices, how do we decide? Do we succumb to the promise of momentary pleasure? To our urges and passions? To the pressure of our peers?"

In the past I would have been more likely to do what was in my best interest, and thus act upon self-interests, and physical and emotional impulses. I have since decided, from the heartbreaking experiences of life, that the only way we can find peace and joy, is to first accept that the minutes and hours of our life go beyond ourselves and into the echoes of eternity.

There is not one single pleasure, passion, or pressure release valve, which will ever yield the joy and peace, which true disciples of Christ long for; except we give our whole soul to God, and walk circumspectly- looking through the lenses of self-sacrifice and self-discipline.  Indeed, our singular discipleship to God is the only path to a completely incomprehensible fulfillment of even more than we alone could have ever dreamed of in the moments of mortal passions, and appetites.

As we hold fast to the rod of iron, and wrestle through the unrelenting, and disorienting and blinding black smog of temptation, confusion, and doubt, we will ultimately reach the sweetest fruit that we could ever partake of.  The fruit, of the love of Christ. encompasses every righteous and holy passion and pleasure imaginable, and offers ten- fold the delight of any selfish, short-lived, and short-sighted appetites of the flesh.

President Monson continues, "Unlike Alice, we all know where we want to go, and it does matter which way we go, for by choosing our path, we choose our destination. Decisions are constantly before us. To make them wisely, courage is needed—the courage to say no, the courage to say yes. Decisions do determine destiny." I add that not only do our decisions determine our destiny, but our decisions also determine the destiny of those we love now, and those we have yet to love.  

I have been granted insights into the voices of angels, which remind me in sacred moment, that my life is bringing honor to them as I earnestly strive to correct the repercussions of the "blood and sins" of the present and previous generations of my family.  I do not quite understand it, but I feel, even as I write these words, the affirmation of the Spirit, and the present nearness of beloved angels, that my life is not as inconsequential as the cacophony of voices around me would lead me to believe.  With  heart pound, blood pumping pulsation, every part of my being adds to witness that my destiny is to lead my family (past, present, and future) toward spiritual victory- well beyond the weakness of the flesh.  

Today, I felt impressed to write a friend of mine, and express just a small portion of my concerns.  As I did so, the Spirit helped to soften my heart, and help me see my challenges for what they are in the scheme of eternity.  

My cleansing tears flowed freely, as my troubled mind was washed of the impurities of distorting doubts.  And, I had an experience as I wrote, which was very much like Alma (36:19), "I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more."

Perhaps my experiences are unique to your own spiritual moments of assurance and direction from our loving Heavenly Father, but I assure you, the message of my experiences is the same for each one of you. For the Spirit bears witness to me that you are on your own unique journey home to our Heavenly Father.  You are on a quest to save not only yourself, but those you love.

As we are reminded in the "Disciple Leadership" video, your influence in the small and consistent ways, do cause  ripples upon the waters of life.  Do not underestimate the difference you are making.  I felt ready to give in to the voices of doubt. I felt ready to stop trying so hard to be meek in the face of adversity. I felt ready to act upon impulses to speak in my defense, against my "accusers.(John 8:10)  

Today, I did not succumb to the voices of worldly logic and worldly reason.  Instead, I followed through on that impression to write a friend of my experiences with doubt. In the process this quiet timing of writing introspection, I was able to listen to the loving logic of our Heavenly Father, who assures and guides us on individual journey's home.  

Indeed, you are placed here "for such a time as this (Esther 4:14)." While we each have unique strengths, capabilities, and circumstances, we can stand, wherever we are, united in the army of our God- if we are one in purpose of heart, mind, and hands.  

In an amazing BYU Devotional, by  Donald W. Parry "Angel, Chariots, and the Lord of Hosts."), Brother Parry shares some of the following:

"President Packer provided the following significant
 statement:

Angels attend the rank and file of the Church. . .
 .
Who would dare to say that angels do not now attend the rank and file of the
 Church who—answer the calls to the mission fields, teach the
 classes, pay their tithes and offerings, seek for the records of
 their forebears,
work in the temples, raise their children in
faith, and have brought this work through 150 years?""This statement of President Packer’s clearly shows that
 angels attend the Church’s rank and file as they raise children in faith, pay tithing, conduct
 sacred temple work, teach classes, and more." 
"It is my understanding—based on more than
 twenty years of research—that operations and ministrations of angels are largely unknown to mortals.
 Angels can move about the earth conducting the Lord’s divine work, and they serve, minister, and
 mingle among mortals, usually without our awareness. Most of us in mortality will never see an
 angel. As Parley P. Pratt instructed, angels can “be present without being visible to
 mortals.”15 And Paul wrote, “Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some
 have entertained angels unawares” (Hebrews 13:2)."

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I conclude with my united testimony of the words President Dieter F. Uchtdorf shared (https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/you-matter-to-him?lang=eng),

"...no matter where you live, no matter how humble your circumstances, how meager your employment, how limited your abilities, how ordinary your appearance, or how little your calling in the Church may appear to you, you are not invisible to your Heavenly Father. He loves you. He knows your humble heart and your acts of love and kindness. Together, they form a lasting testimony of your fidelity and faith.

Brothers and Sisters, not only are you encompassed about by angels, because of your efforts of righteousness, but you will also one day fully discover that you were ministering angels in your unselfish service the those within your influence.  

You may not understand you influence now, but one day every act of righteousness and responsibility you willingly took upon yourself, will be paid off in dividends.  Rest assured, that every sacrifice now, is worth it.  You and I must never underestimate our worth!  

"....We have the faithful promise of God that He will neither forget nor forsake those who incline their hearts to Him.²¹ Have hope and faith in that promise. Learn to love your Heavenly Father and become His disciple in word and in deed."

"Be assured that if you but hold on, believe in Him, and remain faithful in keeping the commandments, one day you will experience for yourselves the promises revealed to the Apostle Paul: “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”^22"

"Brothers and sisters, the most powerful Being in the universe is the Father of your spirit. He knows you. He loves you with a perfect love."

"God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season—He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him."

"May we ever believe, trust, and align our lives so that we will understand our true eternal worth and potential. May we be worthy of the precious blessings our Heavenly Father has in store for us is my 
prayer in the name of His Son, even Jesus Christ, amen."