Mama's Angel Song

Women through the ages have done things to bless family.

I came home late from class. As usual!  (I always lose some time by singing and playing at the piano until the building is locked!) When I arrived home I discovered the lights in the basement had been left on (again!) by my teenage son.  I set my backpack down, and began shutting out lights.

I stopped in the laundry room, and decided to start a new load of laundry. (I try to do this each night, so no one has to go without hot water for showers!) I matched socks and sorted piles for my children- of already folded laundry, which still needed to be put away.  

I love to fold laundry and match socks.  It gives me a sense of purpose and joy to know that I am blessed in so many ways. I am blessed with family, friends, and a safe and peaceful place to live.  Most of all, I have a fervent testimony of Jesus Christ, and I know that through Him, all sorrows can be eased, all sin can be made "white as snow," and all strength and joy come through his atoning power.  I didn't use to understand just what "drawing on the power of the atonement" meant, but through a help of a dear friend, I finally understand it. The Savior's love has changed me! 

Following laundry, I made my way up to bed.  I began my bedtime routine- among which is brushing my teeth and then washing my makeup off with a clean, white washcloth. (Mmm..one of my favorite smells on earth is the smell of a soapy washcloth against my face! I don't know why, but I love that "clean" smell!)  

As I began to wash my face I heard a song play into my thoughts.  (Hearing "random(not!)" songs is not uncommon for me, because music is a gift of mine. I'm thankful for this too!:)  I took a moment to "listen" to the song that I was "hearing." I realized it was "Angel Carol," by John Rutter.  I smiled, and out loud I said, "Thank you angels!"  I proceeded to move about my routine.  Within seconds I heard a new song play into my thoughts.  I listened, but this was harder to identify.  After a prayer, I knew the song.  It was my Mother's "Angel Song," as I have long called it. 

You see, my Mom went through a very sad time in her life.  She felt very alone, and very burdened down.  One night she had a dream in which a man all in white, walked into an empty, but beautiful LDS temple-like room.  This man sat down to an organ in the room, and began to play a beautiful and haunting melody.  But it was not a happy melody.  In truth, it is a very very sad melody.  

My Mother told me that she thought that was an angel in her dream, and that he wanted her to understand that he understood the loneliness and sorrows that she silently carried on her heart. Before my Mom died nearly 10 years ago, she taught me the song.  I proceeded to record that song, and compose it to sheet music on the computer.  When my Mother died, that is one of the things I was working on. 

Many years younger- My "angel Mom" and I.
You can click here to read my post about my Mom. :)

With all the happenings in my life (namely moving, giving birth to new children, many funeral,...and other struggles, stresses, and joys), I set the song aside and forgot about it.  But now, after these 10 years that song has been brought back to my thoughts.  I know it is not of my own ability that I can recall it.  Yet, here in the bathroom, the song was playing into my thoughts, and as I hummed it, I began to cry.  For, the angels, my Mother, and all those who love me on the other side are acutely aware of a complex part of my heart that hides in the shadows of my soul.  

There I was knowing my "angel(s) of music" were there with me, and half-jokingly I asked them why they chose a song to make me cry!

Well, as soon as I asked my questions, something remarkable happened.  The "Angel Song" of sadness was immediately replaced with a happier song!  But, I didn't want to lose the "Angel Melody," because it had been a long time, and on my own I never could have recalled it.  So, realizing what the angel (s), was/were trying to do, I said, "It's alright, I want to hear that melody."  And immediately the melody played sweetly, though sadly, back into my memory." 

  I thought it was sweet that she/they wanted to show their willingness to respect my wishes, in not bringing a sad song to my thoughts.

 

I did have some tears then in knowing I really am very close to heaven. I also tearfully fell to sleep. 

That was not only because of my burden of sadness, but it was moreso in the knowledge that while I cannot speak to anyone on earth of my feelings, my heart is known to Heavenly Father, and all the unseen beings of light. Experiencing such a tangible empathy  and understanding for the complexities of my feelings brought me special comfort- even though it cannot exactly lift the burden of mind and heart. Some things require time and patience.

I know I am not alone in my feelings. I know that we each face our own personal hardship, set back, sorrows, and fears.  And, while I wish I could give you some soothing balm to ease Your burden, I want to remind you that you are not alone.  No one walks this earth alone, even though it may feel that way at times. God and Jesus Christ are aware of you, know your name, and love you more dearly than you can imagine. 

In order to feel of spiritual wells of living water, please try and do your part to make choices to live like Heavenly Father would want you to.  Pray and read the scriptures. Stop watching or reading things of impurity, and choose to listen only to music which speaks of clean and Godly things.  Seek to be charitable to all you interact with.  Serve, and share.  Try to find ways to brighten the lives of others.  Even small ways, which are as simple as a kind note/email, carrying their groceries, holding open a door, or making the bed, can make others happy.

There are many scriptures about finding comfort…but here are a few!  I chose the ones that speak of accepting or seeking comfort. There were some which demonstrate people, who wanted to be miserable and refused comfort!  I've been there before, and may someday find myself in that place again. I know that God  understands that, but if we can muster even an ounce more,, let us try to accept comfort and express appreciation- even in the small ways it is given to us.

Luke 8:48 New TestamentAnd he said unto her, Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace. 

Isaiah 51:3·         Old Testament
For the Lord shall comfort Zion: he will comfort all her waste places; and he will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the Lord; joy and gladness shall be found therein, thanksgiving, and the voice of melody.

2 Corinthians 13:11·         New Testament
Finally, brethren, farewell. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you. 

Alma 31:31

·        Book of Mormon

O Lord, my heart is exceedingly sorrowful; wilt thou comfort my soul in Christ. O Lord, wilt thou 

grant unto me that I may have strength, that I may 

suffer with patience these afflictions which shall

come upon me, because of the iniquity of this people. 

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I wish you clear vision and comfort and peace, whether in your joys or sorrows. I wish you to feel the presence of angels, and the ears to hear sweet messages and songs. I wish you faith and hope, that you will always labor to always be moving toward the light and promises of Christ.  The Savior can heal all wounds, and soften any sorrows, and he will heal yours- IF you allow Him to.  The choice is yours.

Love,

Christine