The other morning I lay alone in my bed crying. I was dwelling upon something that makes me very sad and causes me to doubt my ability to understand the Spirit of God and also blurs my sense of positive identity. As I lay there crying I had several songs come to mind. One of which was a song I once dedicated to my now in heaven "Angel" Mama. It goes:
"What do you give to the lady who has given
All her life and love to you
"Mama, a rainbow
Mama, a sunrise
Mama, the moon to wear
That's not good enough
No not good enough
Not for Mama"
All her life and love to you
What do you give to the reason you are livin'...
Mama, a sunrise
Mama, the moon to wear
That's not good enough
No not good enough
Not for Mama"
The next song bowled me over with understanding and identity. I knew I need to focus on being a courageous and beloved daughter "of THE village Chief"-- The King of Heaven and earth! I was also reminded that my mother and ancestors love me too!
(Grandma (Mother-figure) voice sings)
I know a girl from an island
She stands apart from the crowd
She loves the sea and her people
She makes her whole family proud
Sometimes the world seems against you
The journey may leave a scar
But scars can heal and reveal just
Where you are
The people you love will change you
The things you have learned will guide you
And nothing on earth can silence
The quiet voice still inside you
And when that voice starts to whisper
Moana, you've come so far
Moana, listen
Do you know who you are?
(Moana replies with initial hesitance which increases to confidence)
Who am I?
I am a girl who loves my island
I'm the girl who loves the sea
It calls me
I am the daughter of the village chief
We are descended from voyagers
Who found their way across the world
They call me
I've delivered us to where we are
I have journeyed farther
I am everything I've learned and more
Still it calls me
And the call isn't out there at all, it's inside me
It's like the tide; always falling and rising
I will carry you here in my heart you'll remind me
That come what may
I know the way
I am Moana!
(Better to listen:) https://youtu.be/
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| Here's a picture I took of my scripture journal today. :) |
Over the last few months, I have come to better have glimpses of the love of God for us His children. He doesn't ever turn away from us, reject, leave us hopeless, or betray us. Friends and family may do that to us-- or we may do it to ourselves-- but God, our loving Heavenly Father will always be there when we turn our hearts toward Him.
If we are sinning or rebelling against His commandments it is much harder to hear the sweet, soft voice of his Holy Spirit calling us home, but He ever calls for us and He will always hold on to us, even if we let go of Him for a while.
But today, I plead with You to have the courage to give up your sins to know Him. That courage and repentance is going to look different for each of us-- but IT IS NEVER TOO LATE to make our lives right before God. It is never too late to give our hearts and hands to His work on earth. If you have gone very far away from Him, it might be a lot of hard work to come back to the light (especially if you are involved in drugs, alcohol, pornography, or other mind-hijacking addiction... but it is possible to change if you want it badly enough!
The LOVE of God is never failing.
The Hope of Christ will ever shine.
A Beautiful future awaits you as you purify your heart before the Lord!
I believe in You! Please have the courage to start NOW!
Love, Christine
P.S. I also want to note that if you are being abused in any way to SEEK HELP. No matter what you've done, you do not deserve to be abused or mistreated. Turn to church leader, local authorities, local agencies specializing in abuse victims-- whatever it takes.
If you are a man being abused it might do you well to DISCREETLY record audio/video (preferably video) on your cell phone what the abuser does to you, so that you have evidence. Men are not as easily believed. Please get help if you are in this situation.
I repeat: You do not deserve to be abused-- male or female, adult or child.
Here are some references I found at healthyplace.com's website:
Help for those who have been physically abused but are not currently injured is also readily available. Hotlines for physical abuse help include (in the United States):
- For domestic violence contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
- To get help with teenage dating abuse contact loveisrespect.org. This national program provides a hotline, live chat, texting and other services: 1-866-331-9474
- For help with physical abuse involving gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people call the Gay and Lesbian National Hotline: 1-888-THE-GLNH
- For help with physical abuse containing sexual abuse contact The Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network: 1-800-656-HOPE
- For international agencies, see the HotPeach Pages
== FOR ADDICTIONS (Here are but a few in the USA)
SAMHSA’s National Helpline – 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
https://www.themindfulhabit.com/ (formerly feedtherightwolf.org
===There are many others-- ask if you'd like more.
Here's an article of hope for change:
I also LOVE this blog:
https://rowboatandmarbles.org/wordpress/
https://rowboatandmarbles.org/wordpress/
(He has a lot of links for other websites of healing)
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