Day 252 of 365 days of Solace: My Unforgettable Birthday

This "new (happier) chapter" of my life has been filled with many blessings from God. He has helped to squeeze the depths of sorrow out of my soul like a bitter tube of toothpaste and has replaced the contents of my life with joy. Joy, beyond words. Joy which moves me beyond the unanswered questions of life.

The joy I feel comes with a new confidence and perspective myself. A confidence that comes through faith and power of Jesus Christ's atonement. I no longer worry what others are thinking about me. Namely, the opinions of one person. I still care for their well-being, but I don't worry if I can be acceptable and approved of by them. Opinions certainly influence me, but I don't give the same power to the opinions of others now.  Heavenly Father is the end all opinion that I care about. It's been an indescribable experience!

Which reminds me of a powerful message I heard as I did my makeup this morning:

"Because our conduit of connection with God has become clogged, we increasingly reach out to people around us—mortals like ourselves—for help and support. We gain a sense of security and direction from the opinions of others expressed through social media, blogspots, emails, self-help books, and numerous other sources. But the danger here is that all mortal knowing is by nature limited and flawed. ...Even if the “flesh” we rely on is our own mental capacity and even if we’re blessed with genius-level abilities, there will still always be something that we can’t see or that we fail to understand. The flesh is always limited, unless it is complemented by the power of the Spirit."

"When we lose contact with our spiritual abilities, we are easily led to assume that truth is a matter of consensus. To the mortal mind, the more widely something is believed, the more truth it seems to have. Often, with our mortal thinking, we fail to understand that even if a particular idea has received a hundred million “likes,” if it doesn’t receive the one “like” that really matters—that is, the stamp of testimony through the power of the Holy Spirit of God—it still remains merely mortal opinion and is therefore inadequate and limited. If we aren’t careful, when we slip into complete trust in our mortal modes of perceiving, we will find ourselves truly on our own, reliant only on our limited personal abilities as we wander through the vast cyber-foyer of media and public opinion...."

https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/michelle-stott-james_empty-centers-fire-lord/

Five of my very special gifts from God! My children!

Today I turned 46! I was blessed to spend several hours of my day with a friend who has finally returned to the LDS temple after a 20 year absence!  I was so proud of her because it required, on her part, a lot of change and sacrifices for God. I've envisioned this day for her for years, and I was thrilled when she finally made the decision that she wanted this enough to sacrifice for it.

I went to bed last night with a disappointment on my heart, but God assured me through songs of comfort in the night that I would have a wonderful day today. Those songs reminded me of just how loved I am, and reminded me that my smile bring happiness to others. I don't completely comprehend how, but I felt the warmth of love in my heart, and I slept with happy anticipation for how my birthday would go!

My friend came and picked me up this morning. As I stepped into her car the song, "she shall have music wherever she goes" played into my thoughts. I smiled because I so appreciate the gift of angelic music God has given me. 

I sat down in the car and with her permission I asked for special blessings upon our day, and I invited the Spirit of God to join us and teach us.  

After arriving, and dressing all in white, we sat in the chapel. I wished a friend of ours had been able to attend, but as I slept I knew I would have another dear friend there. I just wasn't sure who. So I waited to see. My heart beating like Christmas morning!  Imagine my surprise when our mutual friend walked in! A friend, who is none other than my stake president. I have always felt his pure, Christ-like love for me. And Contrary to the fact that we aren't blood related, I feel like I have a brother in him, and it is always a joy for me to see him for that reason.

I knew it was no coincidence that Heavenly Father had brought him to my specific temple session to alleviate my disappointment and sadness of last night. It was a delight to spend this time with my friend, and stake president and his wife. Truly a Tender Mercy from the Lord to again remind me that His hand is in my life, and that I will not be forgotten or rejected by Him  --ever!

My girl friend cried and said she felt the presence of her mom and dad during the session, who have both passed away in the last year or two. She described how thrilling it was to be there, and how she tried to take in every word she was hearing. Her hands were even shaking with excitement. I was happy that she felt the importance of the covenants we were there making to God in how would will live our lives, and how we look to Him in all things.  

She suggested lunch after the 2 hour session. Long story short, a kind, older man had overheard me talking to my Stake President about it being my birthday. He offered to give me my birthday swats with his cane!!! Haha. "No thank you!"  But then he joked for me to have a piece of cake on him. I walked off to the cafeteria giggling, but expected nothing. 

Later that night I made a teasing face at my boy because
he has been my birthday thief for 7 years now! His birthday
is on the 12 of November, and he claims my b-day as his own!

Well, that man came down the the cafeteria a few minutes later and bought the lunches for my friend and I--as well as the dessert. Well he paid for all of it, except my dessert!! Because the kitchen chef/baker waived my pie because it is my birthday! I hugged and thanked Brother J. Hernandez, after he bought our lunch, and then off he hobbled telling this "bright, smiling young lady" to have a "happy birthday!"  I felt so thankful for his kindness, and that of the head chef! More blessings from God!

Here he is 4 days earlier. But, you don't see me blowing out
his candles!! ;) :) 

As I sat down to eat, my girl friend said she had been the one who wanted to buy me lunch to celebrate my birthday. I reminded her that while I love to celebrate my birthday, the real celebration of this day was in celebrating her re-birth.  She immediately understood the sober truth of what I said, and she reflectively replied, "Yes, that is very true." 

As we sat and visited I told her I come once or twice a week, and I'd love to come with her. She surprised me when she said we could come every Wednesday at the same time.  I was thrilled, and agreed that it was a perfect time for me too!

(quotes below are from the talk above)

"The gospel and the commandments of God are not a cage that keeps us from succeeding in the world. They are the wings that help us to soar to heights of success that we, with our mortal faculties, can’t even dream of on our own...."

Sister Neill F. Marriott.... asserted,  

“Love is making space in your life for

someone else.”

This truth is valid, not just for our children or our family but for our relationship with God as well.

We show love for Christ by making space in our lives for Him.

This means consciously devoting time every day to seriously studying His words, meditating on the scriptures that teach of Him, and praying to know Him, utilizing both our mortal and our spiritual forms of perception. 

Take note of the Christmas tree that my children set up on
the 14th of November!! Haha! Coldstone cake. I love ganache.

In addition to making space in our lives for Christ, there is yet another way in which we demonstrate our love. As author Catherine Galasso-Vigorito asserted:

Love is not a special way of feeling, though lovely feelings come now and then. But real love is a commitment to live and care for another person. When that love is God’s love, it reaches out to all the people around you automatically. You just can’t help caring and sharing from the heart.8

Our service to God’s children is a visible sign of our love for Him. As we willingly serve others, we become a conduit through which His love flows to touch the lives of everyone around us. 

Can you tell my little boy likes Pokemon!

Well, I'm going to go eat a cold stone cake soon, which my sister bought me (but that I created!) :) I just wanted to share a few thoughts.  These aren't all the wonderful blessings of my day, or week, but they show a glimpse of God's goodness and mercy toward His children.

I hope you will consider how you can make room in your life to show your love for Christ.

I will close with a beautiful sentiment of truth:

"October 2014 general conference President Dieter F. Uchtdorf exclaimed:

"I offer you my personal witness that spiritual truth will fill your heart and bring light to your spirit. It will reveal to you pure intelligence with wonderful joy and heavenly peace. . . .

". . . If you seek God’s truth, that which now may appear dim, out of focus, and distant will gradually be revealed and clarified and become close to your heart by the light of God’s grace. Glorious spiritual vistas, unimaginable to the human eye, will be revealed to you."

Keep working toward those vistas which only God can help you see!
Christine

P.S. I asked my stake president afterward why he came today. (I wondered if someone had told me if my friend was coming there that day.) He replied that his wife said this morning that she wanted to go at that time.  I smiled and told him I had a story to tell him about his wife being inspired!

Day 162 of 365 days of Solace: A Weeping Walmart Stranger

I've been working on a photography project, and it's kept me too busy too blog! But I wanted to drop a quick line about an experience I had tonight.

I headed toward walmart to pick of my 8x10 prints for a temple photo shoot I did last week.  As I drove I prayed aloud to Heavenly Father. I find those are my best, most heartfelt prayers because I'm not distracted, or hurting by kneeling on my knees! ;) 

No really, for some reason I just pour out my heart more easily as I drive. (Maybe it's because I pray aloud, and I don't always do that as I kneel.) Tonight was no exception. I told God about my sorrows, and joys, and before I knew it I was in tears as I spoke about the love I feel in my heart. I thanked him for filling my heart with that love, especially when I never thought I would know love in this life.

I formally closed my prayer with a "in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen" before I got out of my car. But, of course, my prayers never really cease because I want to give my heart and life to the will of God, and if I remember to always have a prayer in my heart, then I'm more likely to make good choices, and be accountable to God. 

Well, I digress...

I walked into Walmart, as I wiped the last few tears from my eyes, and I look over to see a Walmart associate walking quickly down the front aisle and turning to head to the back of the store. She had a tissue in hand, and was wiping her nose. I looked to see if she had just sneezed, or had allergies, but the expression on her face was much like the one I'd had as I drove there. She had that open mouth, anguished look, and she was taking heaving breaths.  

I wondered, "What can I do?"  I hurried my pace, to an almost run.  I came up behind her (she hadn't even noticed me), and I threw my right arm around her, and said, "I'm so sorry you are feeling sad." 

I kept my arm around her, as I kept pace with her. She looked over at me, made a puzzled expression, like, "Who are you, and why are you being so nice to me?" 

I quickly filled in her silence, and said, "I was crying, just like you are now, as I drove here.  I can't help but wonder if it has something to do with Walmart!" She cracked a smile.  I proceeded, "Do you have a support system to help you through this hard time?" She sincerely spoke and said "Yes, I have three wonderful supports at home." I told her I was so happy to hear that, and as I turned to head down another aisle, I added, "I'll be praying for you hon." She thanked me, and we parted ways.

I felt so very thankful that I had the right words for the situation. God helped me to have quick thoughts of what to say.  

I also felt thankful that I could comfort this woman, who seemed to feel much like me. 

I felt thankful that God had placed in my path, with his perfect timing, a woman that I could uniquely give some assurance to.  

I felt comforted by giving comfort.

I felt the Spirit witness to me that by serving others, I am showing God's love on earth. And I felt His love for me because I am willing to show His love.

I am not the woman I used to be. I used to think more about how I felt than about how others felt I didn't comfort others very well because I thought about myself too much, instead of wondering how God could use my hands and heart for the good of others.  

We  can each have regular opportunities like I had tonight. There are chances all around us. They may be  small things, like putting your arm around a stranger and saying you will pray for them, or it may be visiting an elderly person in a care center.  But, if you look for meaningful ways to give your time to others, and pray to have charity, you will begin to see that there is hope in life, even where it seems hopeless.  

You must hold on to hope. Hope helped me overcome depression. Hope in Christ, and in His love, is what keeps me moving forward through the sometimes very dark days of life.

Seek the Lord in prayer, and he will bless you with hope and strength to face life,

Christine

Day 57 of 365 days of solace: Saving Children

Quick chalk art by me, Christine :)

I've had a cloud of gloom surrounding me today. I've thought a lot about my present situation in life, and my failings as a Mother and wife. I've doubted my capacity to do more and be more than I currently am. But, after watching this, and shedding many tears!, I feel rejuvenated. Yes, strange response, I know!

I may never have the opportunity to save and bless the lives of nearly 700 children, but I can make a difference in my small ways. I have 5 beautiful children that fill my life with great happiness. I can do my best to protect them from the evils in the world, and give them opportunities to truly live. 

What I do as a parent may not be the same as someone else, but one thing I do know is that I'm 

doing okay! My children know that within my home they are safe and loved and cared for.

I may continue to sigh when I see yet another pair of Scooby-Doo underwear, smelly socks, or grass stained jean dropped messily in the hallway, just outside the bathroom! (instead of the nearby laundry basket)--but I must try to always remember that there is so much more to 

  life than the chaos! There is love, and that pure, sweet love is what drives me forward 

- even in some unexpected storms of life. With that love in my heart, I can face any storm and come out a champion!

I looked at the men and women in these audiences, and I thought, "They truly understand what it's like to desperately want to survive the tragedy, and they truly wanted to live and breathe-even in the face of hideous evils. I wonder if they ever forgot that desire to live, when life was dark and painful?"

Let us always fight to survive, and live-- not lay down and quit, because things seem
insurmountable! "This too shall pass."

I hope that as you face your personal storms of life, you will never lose sight of how precious life really is, and how precious You are!
Christine
=======
ABOUT THE VIDEO:
"Sir Nicholas George Winton MBE
(born Nicholas George Wertheim; 19 May 1909 – 1 July 2015) was a British humanitarian who organized the rescue of 669 children, most of them Jewish, from Czechoslovakia on the eve of the Second World War in an operation later known as the Czech Kindertransport (German for "children transportation").

Winton found homes for the children and arranged for their safe passage to Britain.[2] The world found out about his work over 40 years later, in 1988. The British press dubbed him the "British Schindler".[3] On 28 October 2014," (wiki)

Day 54 of 365 days of solace

I have something troubling me-- yes, of course, it has to do with the thing that has troubled me for a long time now. For that reason, I've felt so terribly worried and sad today. Silently, I remained in my room most of the day. I sorted and organized drawers, paper, and purses. (I have a collection of colors).

Right now as I type I heard (silently into my thoughts) the piano intro of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight."  I've been comforted today, through a variety of songs playing into my thoughts. I'm thankful for that solace, and yet I can't seem to escape the emotional turmoil I am feeling. Turmoil based solely on fear of what could happen--but hasn't happened.

It would be easy for me to give up on trying and hoping for "good things to come," but that is not my way.  God has given me a new heart, because I turned to Him, and changed my life through the power of Jesus Christ's atonement.  Through the grace of God, I can do all things!

We must press forward.  We must remain

diligent to God.  For that reason I will still study more scriptures before I go to bed.  For that reason I will continue to pray unto my Father all day long.  For that reason I will be valiant in Christ until the day I die.  

“In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). 

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. [Romans 8:38–39]

No matter what challenges and heartaches you face, you will be alright, if you face them with God's help.  Say your prayers each day, study the scriptures, go to church, and then, in the quiet moments of the day...listen...for songs, thoughts, scriptures, hopeful memories, or the hand of a friend, who reaches out to help you in kindness...God will offer comfort, but we must be paying close attention.
Love, Christine

P.S. I did get out tonight. We got Little Caesar's pizza, and went to a playground with our new puppy.  I sat in the car, because I'm so sad, still sick, and was working on school work...but at least I made a small effort and got out...that's a good thing, right?!

Day 45 of 365 days of solace: a letter to a friend & my epiphany!

I was really comforted by the words I wrote to someone I care about..  As I wrote I felt blessed by insights I'd never considered...  I hope that some of you may take comfort and hope as well.
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Dear (Friend),

I really need you to start considering the ramifications of your words. I know you are worried. I know you ... I know you don't like.... I know you feel uncertain about.... I know you worry about... and about ..., and how things can work out. I know know you battle ugly dragons, which are constantly
trying to stab you from the inside out. I know you want to ..., and I know that those same monsters make it hard for you to think straight.  

Friend, I am sorry that you worry so much. I am sorry that your mind is always anxious, and that you are always feeling afraid of how anything can work out. I am sorry that you feel upset that I made a mistake with ..., and sorry that I don't ... better, which ...

.... I know your anxiety isn't going to magically go away, but I know that it will have less power on you, if you don't give it so much power.  When your anxiety wants to yell ..., you need to talk back and say, "I feel really worried about this, but I know that yelling at Christine isn't going to solve the problems I worry about."  Sometimes it's best to step away from the situation to cool off.  But I need you to know that it really eats away at my heart to have you... and say...  

....even if I were intentionally trying to be a lousy (person),  it would not be justified for you to yell at me- ever.  In life, it is up to us to take person accountability for how we act- no matter how another person chooses to act.

Isaiah 41:10

One of the things that is getting me through my own personal worries is to really focus on the fact that the Savior suffered all things. He understands all shame, all grief, sorrow, fear, anxiety, etc....  But, more than that, there is nothing that can happen to us, which cannot be solved through the atoning grace of Jesus Christ.  

It doesn't matter how awful things were to get for me.  It doesn't matter how terrified you feel over... or  ... The truth of the matter is that such things cannot physically touch your eternal spirit. Our bodies are housed with flesh, and they can be harmed- but even if we are shamed, homeless, stabbed, embarrassed, or even imprisoned, or any type of abasement or trial-- we must always remember that our spirit cannot be harmed, unless we spiritually allow ourselves to be injured by the devil's evil war waged at our bright and valiant eternal spirit!

Helaman 5:12 (Book of Mormon)

Even as I write that concept of the spirit being whole and well, no matter what physical or bloody battle takes place on our mortal flesh, I can't help but wonder if it's really a true statement.  Can our spirit really remain untouched?

You might tell me I'm wrong.  And considering challenges like depression and anxiety, which seem to affect the spirit, I stop and wonder if maybe it is a false statement.  But, I stand firm in my concept. I think there is a difference between emotional and mental aspects of life- versus our thriving divine spirits. And I think it is part of our journey here in mortality to  
sort those things out, and make choices which will help our spirits grow stronger, despite any battles that are waged upon us and most especially upon our eternal life-blood--our spirit. 

I was just thinking how the devil is angry that we came to earth with bodies of flesh and bone. I have focused too much of my life on how he has waged a war against our bodies.  So much of his warfare seems aimed at the flesh- from drugs, abuse, illicit sexual relationships.  I think I have considered those to be the sins I must remain pure and safe from, but I sometimes fail to recognize that with his "evil cunning" and "craftiness," those are only a few of his methods to get us to do things to injure our bodies.  He has many more techniques to get us to lose sight of our divine worth and potential, such as pornography, too much media consumption, selfishness, laziness, and so many other things, which I do not wish to bring up.

But is the devil's plan to really get us to destroy our physical bodies only, or to simply inflict emotional, mental, or social pain in our lives?  No!  I believe that the devil's ultimate plan is to destroy our spirits, and he knows that there is only one way to get to our spirits--through SIN.  He knows that being ashamed, or judged, or criticized isn't going to hurt our spirits- UNLESS we allow those negative things to fester and cause us to feel pride, resentment, hurt, and anger... or worse!  

When we aren't keeping the commandment in any form- large or small- we weaken our spirits- even if it's only a little injury.  And the devil knows that small injury to our spirit is just the right wedge for him to get started on causing a larger crack in our spirits. And then, if he's really successful, he will cause our spirits to be severed in half, like a tall oak tree, where the base has been cut so deeply that it crashes down to the earth.  

The great thing is, that unlike that permanently destroyed tree, we can actually be repaired.  How does that happen?  You know!  It happens through repentance.  As our bishop said, "repentance equate to more than just repentance from serious sins, it also equates to progression."

I think it is important that we do not underestimate our individual role of choice and accountability. I need you to accept your decision to let your temper and resentment to rule your tongue, and not justify it because you feel/think that I made a poor choice in ....  

In order to get through hard things, I keep focusing on how the Savior "descended below all things," and how I KNOW it is going to be alright.  I don't need to worry or have excessive fears.  I just keep telling myself from morning until night (and sometimes through the night), "This is in God's hands", "I don't need to worry, He has a plan..."  "Be not afraid, for I am thy God, and will still give thee aide." (Hymn)  

....Please, please, try harder to speak softly toward me.

While words may "break a heart" and cause many tears-
we still ultimately must decide to forgive, and let
God teach us how to heal.  Sorrow doesn't have to
destroy our faith and confidence in God! We can be at  peace
through the powerful love and grace of God, and Jesus Christ.

I love you, but I will never thrive as long as you 

yell at me, or ...  I need you to try and see what I am trying to do right.  Whether it's your love language or not, if you ask God, He will help you to see things about me that can be appreciated. Pray for a heart of gratitude, and then work to speak kindly- or walk away quietly until you've knelt to pray and can be less over-reactive.

Please, please, stop believing any lies that the evil one helps plant in your thought, which are that you are a "bad person," or  that you are just who you are, or that you aren't going to change anytime soon.  Change will come as quickly as you decide to give your ALL to Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost. Change will come when your will is less important that Heavenly Father's will.  Change every sacrifice, even life itself, for the sake of righteousness!
will come when you are willing to make

Don't quit! Keep Trying! I believe in you!

Christine

P.S.  Some of you may be sea deep in some very serious problems and heartaches.  I wholeheartedly suggest you watch the videos in these 12 Steps to recovery serious.  They deal with very sensitive topics, and I do not recommend them for children.  These are true stories of people who have overcome addictions of all kinds.  And I recommend you watch them, even if you don't struggle with pornography, drug addiction, etc.  These are moving and deeply profound videos, which help me to increase in compassion towards others.

Here is an introduction to the program (video) https://addictionrecovery.lds.org/steps/introduction?lang=eng   But on the same page are videos covering step 1-12--those are my favorite, deeply touching videos! And, best of all, each step tells you what you need to do (even if you never join a recovery group).

Day 30 of 365 days of Solace: Love makes a difference

I took this nap Sunday between LDS
conference session. She's such a cuddly dog!

I sure wish I could keep up with everyday. But I am in finals right now, and while I could write a few lines, I would favor having photos of my family!  I may have to ease up on how entailed I am, and all the cool pictures I take, which show the special moments with my family.  But we'll see...

My 8 yr old puppy and my 9 week old puppy fell to sleep
during scripture study!

Here are a few reason it makes it harder (only a few!):

• I'm in school
• I'm now working at a care center.
• I have this crazy needy puppy,
• and these crazy needy children! ;))
• I am trying to finish helping my husband put our house in order-- meaning- De-JUNKING! (He's been very busy this Spring break-- but with my shoulder I couldn't help much.  My shoulder is

  

  Our Sunny the puppy, enjoyed snuggling under the blanket
  that warmed my feet this morning as I studied.

  feeling more mobile, and slightly better...so I can do a little more.  (Today I organized my bathroom drawers! :)  Very satisfying, but not strenuous.

I would like to share an excerpt of a letter I wrote a friend today.  And then I'm off to bed!  

The other night, J. and I went together to ladies night at Deseret Book. I really, really wanted to win the statue of Christ.  I didn't win that, but I did win a little book by Jeffrey and Patricia Holland, "To Mothers: Carrying the Torch of Faith and Family." I began reading yesterday, because I didn't think it was coincidence that out of hundreds of women, I won this specific book.  

As I wiped my tears dry yesterday during my reading, I felt this book was meant to bless me. I know that Heavenly Father really wants me to trust Him, and to understand my value in His eyes. While I know he is pleased that I can recognize, feel, and understand His validation, which may be given to me by those around me, He especially wants me to fine-tune my understanding that only He can offer me a consistently clear identity of value of self-worth, which is all-encompassed in His safe and perfect love.

As I read today, these words of Pat Holland stood out to me: 

"....we each wear a variety of faces in the different roles we play: teacher, confidante, caregiver, mentor, disciplinarian, healer, friend, to name just a few. Our countenances display charity, envy, patience, anxiety, pride, humility, generosity, greed, peace, perplexity.  These portraits mirror joy and grief together, and through this exchange the lines are "women fine." We are all learning of God's slow, steady way of sculpturing the experiences that cannot be escaped "till we have our face."

(p.11)

"Which face is really yours? What is your role as a mother? What if the faces change so fast and the demands become so great that you hardly know who you are any of the time? How can you ever hope to be in control all of the time?"

"May I try to give some modest reassurances. First and most important, if we look closely in those many-mirrored faces, we will always see God's infinite care in the process of making us who we are and what we are becoming. We see the gentle way He kneels to brush back our hair or even to wipe away a tear. He adjusts the angle of the light and works His wonders with lines and scars and shadows. Ever so softly He whispers for us to endure difficulty or discouragement for what it may hold of illumination and eternal beauty.  Under His hand our inner person becomes the outer person, and the artist shapes His perfect image." (page 12)

I hope you take time to inventory some of the great things you are doing as a Mother, and pray to know how to improve, or adjust what you are doing.

If you don't have children, please don't underestimate the value of your efforts to brighten the lives of others.  Motherhood is a lot more than having biological children, it is about unselfish service to each of Heavenly Father's children.  There is a world of people out there who need to feel the Savior's love. Because a friend showed so much pure, and Christlike love, I finally got to this point of peace.  God's loved performed miracles in my heart, mind, and life- but it took someone willing to share that love with me, in order to want to change.

I love both of these scriptures, and take comfort that as I seek to draw near to God each day, that I will have the special peace that comes from trying to do what is right-even in my imperfection.

Isaiah 54:4

4 Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more.

Micah 4:13

13 Arise and thresh, O daughter of Zion: for I will make thine horn iron, and I will make thy hoofs brass: and thou shalt beat in pieces many people: and I will consecrate their gain unto the Lord, and their substance unto the Lord of the whole earth.

Believe in yourself!  Even the small efforts each day, will add up over time- just like drops of water in a bucket!

Keep trying- God will never give up on you!

Love, 

Christine

A Prophet; Called of God

I completely support Thomas S Monson, as prophet, seer, and revelator. I am in full support of His decisions, and those of the first presidency. They lead the church in careful communion with God- just as did the prophets of old. 

If the church has given their stance that children of a certain age cannot enjoy the blessings of membership due to family choices, then I assure you that God has a purpose. Such a bold decision does not come of man. It comes ONLY of GOD. 

God sees things that our minds are not necessarily able to calculate--except through the Spirit of God. This reminds me of a scripture in Corinthians 4:5 "Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God."

I feel it is very important that we take these things seriously, in Doctrine and Covenants 123:13, 

"Therefore, that we should waste and wear out our lives in bringing to light all the hidden things of darkness, wherein we know them; and they are truly manifest from heaven—"

God has, and will, continue to sift His people. May we always be found on His errand, and firm in the faith of the Lord Jesus Christ.

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I think Elder Uchtdorf hits the mark when he says, "

"In some way we are all susceptible to such strange thinking."

"The “truths” we cling to shape the quality of our societies as well as our individual characters. All too often these “truths” are based on incomplete and inaccurate evidence, and at times they serve very selfish motives."

"Part of the reason for poor judgment comes from the tendency of mankind to blur the line between belief and truth. We too often confuse belief with truth, thinking that because something makes sense or is convenient, it must be true. Conversely, we
 "sometimes don’t believe truth or reject it—because it would require us to change or admit that we were wrong. Often, truth is rejected because it doesn’t appear to be consistent with previous experiences."

"When the opinions or “truths” of others contradict our own, instead of considering the possibility that there could be information that might be helpful and augment or complement what we know, we often jump to conclusions or make assumptions that the "other person is misinformed, mentally challenged, or even intentionally trying to deceive."

"Unfortunately, this tendency can spread to all areas of our lives—from sports to family relationships and from religion to politics."

https://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/ces-devotionals/2013/01/what-is-truth?lang=eng

When I write anything, or speak anything, I try hard to gauge the appropriateness of my words, based partly on whether I'd be comfortable if my church leaders read my words, and even more importantly, if Heavenly Father would be pleased in my words. I try to remember a concept expressed in Galatians 6:3 "For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself." I use that scripture, and others, as a guide for how I speak and write.

I am hopeful that more often, than not, I meet the qualifications I've set for myself. But, on those times, when I don't maintain a charitable style of communication (more often heard in my everyday conversations, where I don't have the same skills I do with writing; and I'm left to "impromptu" conversation- which is affected more easily by emotion, fatigue, or hunger. (Best not to talk to me on a fast Sunday!)

One of the biggest challenges I see, at this this time, is that concerned members of The Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints are allowing their emotions to guide their thoughts, instead of acknowledging that "man is nothing," and peacefully accepting such a major decision of the church, while leaving it in the hands of God. 

This world is full of vile, filthy, and disgusting evil at the hand and choice or too many. I don't think I need to recount those examples for you to know that this decision of the church is not a crime, nor a sin, against anyone, not especially the children. We all know full well that the church is one of the most giving humanitarian organizations on earth. Those humanitarian efforts are blessing and helping countless children and families all over the world to to have shelter, food, and education- whether they are members, or not.

We need to be careful not to let our sentimental natures get the better of us. There is no harm or offense being done to these children who are unable to be blessed or baptized into our church, as long as they exist as children in a same-gender marriage situations. And it should be noted that it is not an all or nothing decision. Just as Heavenly Father works with us individually and uniquely; there will certainly be cases of individual exceptions.  .

As parents we may lean on the recollections of our own joy at our children's blessing and baptism days; and we may similarly consider how sad or unfair it seems that these children don't get to dress in white and celebrate like other children their age. We need to remember that these events aren't remotely comparable to celebrating a birthday with cake, blowing out the candles, floating balloons, and happy giggles; nor should we compare ordinances and covenants to the secular bliss of taking our child on the Disneyland merry-go-round for the first time in their young lives.  

There is no real comparison between the entertaining celebrations of life, and the spiritual celebrations that lead us on the path toward the Savior. Those non-spiritual celebrations, are just moments of fun and enjoyment, and while they may make an impact on our family relationships, and our enjoyment of one another, and they may even be growing experiences, they are not going to be the important stepping stones to gospel dedication, and daily diligent discipleship of the Savior, Jesus Christ. On the other hand, the baby blessing and baptism are sacred ordinances of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The baptismal covenant is most important, because it is a personal covenant that we make between ourselves and God. 

In Mosiah 18:8–10, 13; we read, "Ye have entered into a covenant with him that ye will serve him and keep his commandments."  

• How then would children of  same gender parents be able to live up to keeping Heavenly Father's covenants, when their parents are teaching them values contrary to the gospel standards?  
• How would they be strong enough to make Christ centered gospel choices which are completely opposite to those of their Mom and their Mom, or their Dad and their Dad? 
• How are these children going to even successfully make sense of their world;when within the gospel framework they are learning that Father Adam (a man), and Mother Eve (a woman) multiplied and replenished the earth?  

It is important that we remember that the guidelines for baptism, are not singling out lesbian or gay couples. There are other guidelines used in such a decision. 

Parenting is a challenge,, and whether straight or homosexual, there are always going to be people who kind and effective parents in both groups.  My concern is that the homosexual lifestyle leads to watered down ideals of God. For he makes it very clear that marriage is between a man and a woman.  Trying to raise children in a same gender parent relationship/marriage and also having them learn that Adam and Eve are our examples, would only lead to confusion. I also believe that living within a home in support of homosexual activity increases chances for exploration to try different types of relationships- in an effort to find "happiness," or "satisfaction.'  

The problem with that type of exploration of relationships, is the same as with any type of negative experimentation (substance abuse, fornication, adultery, etc)  is that it cannot grow deeply rooted flowers of joy in our lives.  In the scriptures we read,"wickedness never was happiness. Alma 41:10" Some  things may seem fun for a while, but in the long-term, these kinds of things will ultimately lead to unhappiness.

God's anointed prophet, Thomas S. Monson and the others of the first presidency; these men  know far more than we do about the dynamics and workings of religion and politics. I have found that it is best to stick to things within our control and influence, and let our prophet, and other righteous church leaders called of God, to lead and carry us forward in truth. They carry such heavy burdens, and I surely would not want that weight of the world upon my shoulder.

I take comfort in knowing that God has promised that no unrighteous man will be allowed to lead our church astray. I have confidence in that promise, because I have seen how Heavenly Father has worked miracles and special protection in my life. Mighty miracles, which have only come about from the power of His hand.

We need ask ourselves if we think that we know better than God. It is bold of me to say that we are ultimately doubting God (instead of Church leaders), because regardless to the position of the church on this matter- or any other points of concern, the scriptures could easily stand independent of what the prophets are saying. It is clear that the Lord's view on adultery, fornication, and homosexuality has been around a long time. The world is uncomfortable labeling sin as sin. It is not politically correct to suggest otherwise, and it is very uncomfortable when people point an accusing finger in your efforts to try to be righteous. 

Christ is a Lord of Love, as is God the Father, but we miss the important issue, when we try to believe

that God is more like a benevolent Grandfather, who is always approving of us; than a God of perfect truth and light, who has strict standards that He wants us to live.

While God is merciful, and kind, he also showed his feelings about sin in scriptures. And let's not forget that even the Savior overturned the tables in the market. Those scriptural sources teach us a lot about the character of Jesus Christ, and about God, the father.  God does not "look upon sin with the least degree of allowance." 

The scriptures are replete with example of Gods love and mercy for ALL of His children. And we like to focus on those "pleasing words." Indeed, such word are pleasing! I know I want a Grandfather figure to pat me on the head, and tell me that I'm a good girl. I'm sure we members of the church favor such a benevolent viewpoint of God. For I know that I find it very comforting to hear that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love us perfectly, and rejoice over our goodness.  Who doesn't like such love and approval?! 

I will cite a just few scriptures, which paints a clear picture of the Lord's position on sin:

Jude 1:7

 Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh (gay/lesbian) are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.

Ephesians 5:3

3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;

Look at it this way....the decision could be worse! 
(Mortify= to put to death, subdue)

Colossians 3:5 "Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:"

Mark 7:21
21 For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders,

Ephesians 5:3-11 

3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; 

4 Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks. 

5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 

6 Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. 

7 Be not ye therefore partakers with them. 

8 For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light: 

9 (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;)

10 Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord. 

 11 And have no ^afellowship with the unfruitful works of^bdarkness, but rather ^creprove them"

It is a lot less comfortable when we hear that God expects us to live up to certain standards, and commandment. But it is imperative that we are careful NOT to assign God's mercy and approving love to all situations. For our Heavenly Father, is also a God of wisdom, justice, judgement and wrath. We may not be comfortable with those bold and strong words, especially in a world that tries to convince us we are fanatical, when we draw distinctions of things being black and white, good or bad, right or wrong. Indeed, when we call a spade a spade, or sin a sin- we become the strange one, or "the odd man out."

But we aren't here to prove ourselves to the world. We are here to prove ourselves to God. And while he is a God of Repentance and forgiveness, he is not a God of indulgence or excess. He is a God, who wants us to conform our will to His. A God who wants us to walk in strict obedience. A God who wants us to use our hands to love and serve others, but also show self-discipline in pushing away sin from among us. He asks these things, and more, of us, because he loves us. He knows that by strict obedience to His commandments- through our leaders, and the Spirit He can bless us with, that we will be able to wash ourselves clean from the filth that surrounds us on every side. 

Elder Neal A. Maxwell stated, “Too often we behave as if we were in massive competition with others for God’s love. But we have His love, unconditionally and universally; it is our love of Him that remains to be proven, such as through service to others” (Even As I Am [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1982], 63).

Our families, our children, and our friends need us to help lead them with the light of truth and love. There are always going to be causes to stand up for, and people to protect, but it is always going to be best that it is our children we as individuals are teaching to distinguish right from wrong, and error from truth. As we do this, we will begin to see that we are helping victims to become victorious- for the love of God has the power to reach into the darkest abyss and rescue the worst of sinners.  

I know, because Heavenly Father saved me from my prison of sin and self-pity. He brought miracles into my life, which only came about through changes in my heart. I stopped wanting the things of the world. I stopped wanting others to serve me, and give to me, while I made no efforts. I was selfish and self-centered. I regret those times. I regret how my vision was so skewed and distorted, and hurt so many of my family in those moments-- and maybe longer. I am truly sorry for the sadness I caused my family at anytime.  .

I am not perfect, but I am trying hard not to find myself as the person I was. I have been learning to draw on the Savior's atonement in a way I NEVER imagined was possible. But, it is important that we do not love the sin, even though we can love the sinner. If we act like all is acceptable, then there would be no need for us to want to change. Had I felt it was alright to act as I did, and continue to do so, I would never have needed to learn that my selfishness and pride was a serious sin, which had the power to destroy generations of my upcoming family in the sweet encompass of the gospel truth Indeed, without those warning voices along the way, I never would have gotten to the point that helped me learn the Lord's truth and realize that I needed to change. Heavenly Father can work with the penitent, but he can never work with the unpenitent -unless they are first willing to recognize that their actions are not in harmony with God's way. 

I can see how you could feel concern over the change in policy; the voices is dissent are a loud and angry cacophony of discontent. But I hope you and others, will take those concerns with "sincerely of heart (Mosiah 4:10)" to Heavenly Father, and let him help to teach you what you need to understand to move forward in faith. 

The blessings of the spirit will come in abundance as we:

• daily search the scriptures (not a checklist reading) 

•  pour our heart out in prayer,

• shut of the noise of the world (a.k.a. soap operas, reality t.v. shows, and anything that is unholy) and replace that noise with inspiring literature, BYU devotionals, quiet reflective and prayerful time as we do the dishes or drive to the store, 

• service among family and community, and regular temple attendance 

• (and of course there are other things---like fasting, tithing, controlling our tempers, etc) 

As we do those things our minds will increase in intelligence and wisdom, and we will be blessed in ways we never dreamed possible. Half hearted efforts, or quick prayers will not generally get the answers you, and others are seeking at this time. As we strengthen ourselves this way, we will feel a peace amidst the chaos.

I realize my words are strong, but I do not want there to be any misunderstanding. I feel only concern that we "watch ourselves." (Mosiah 4:30) My only desire for you, and the rest of our family and friends, is found within the beautiful words of Moroni 9:25

"My son (and daughter), be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written (nor, which are going on in the world) grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever."

And may the grace of God the Father, whose throne is high in the heavens, and our Lord Jesus Christ, who sitteth on the right hand of his power, until all things shall become subject unto him, be, and abide with you forever. Amen."

I'll be praying for you, in your efforts to make sense of the world. I wish only the best for you.
Christine

P.S. To read more about the issue, please check this link: http://blog.fairmormon.org/2015/11/06/a-look-at-the-churchs-new-policy-on-children-of-gay-couples/