Well, I did make the mistake of letting my stake president read a line or two of it to understand how I've been feeling, and he wrote back saying we needed to meet again this Sunday!! (I guess I sound sad, or something!;]
How Much?
How much sorrow can one heart hold,
I ask myself today.
If I have anymore sorrow will my heart break
or my spirit simply slip away.
How much shame can one person take,
I wonder time and again.
Do I have the strength to suffer more
and emulate His name?
How many eyes must peer at me
with wonder, and disbelief
before I cease humility
and angrily wave my fist
and tell them to go away?
And, oh,
what of the gossip whisperedbehind closed doors?
What of the accusations false,
that bind me with scarlet pain.
Who can see my spirit sweet
and feel the love that pours from me?
Must I lonely wander with the bereaving
the remaining days of life?
Will anyone stand with me
and decry the mocking tones?
Can anyone see my honor
or am I doomed to stand alone?
With heavy burden I walk each day
stepping across labels that pave my way.
I try to smile and act unafraid
but the searing often scars in waves
I close my eyes with mustered hope,
combined with faith unseen,
I take a step into the dark
knowing in the end I shall win.
The path I walk is narrow
Angels attend me each step of the way
and make my hours seem sweet.
At times like these I falter,
and doubt my strength from within
but trusting my all to one perfect man
I know that I shall win in the end
Yet, on days like this
when my heart is heavy
I clutch my chest and ask
How much sorrow can one heart hold?
26 July 2016- Tuesday 5:10 pm
Original Poem by Christine
Today is day 149 since some adversity really began to face me, and this trial continue to happen. I
try to put on a good front and smile, but oh my heart has been so sad. I keep going to church because I'm not there for others. I'm there to improve myself, and to learn more about the will of God, as well as to learn to love others- even when that is not always easy.
It's been a hard journey for me, but I just keep remembering the shame and agony the Savior suffered, unimaginably harder than my own, and that through Him I can face all things. There are times you are going to feel very much alone, but at those times you need to pray to remember the things that the Spirit has already taught you.
Pray for Christ pure love--Charity. And pray for humility to submissively face things like Christ would. It's what I do everyday. And sometimes all day long- when it's especially hard! You are loved! I know it's hard to imagine, but someday you and I will look back on these hard times and realize that they were making us strong, brave champtions before the Lord!
Love, Aunt Christine
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