Carrying Others into the Pool of Bethesda

There is someone in my life who is tremendously unhappy, worried, and well... rather hard to have around, because they complain and criticize a lot.

You know those people, right?  Nothing ever seems to make them happy.  They usually express that if certain conditions existed then they would not worry so much and they could finally be happy. Instead of happiness being a journey, it is always the destination for these kinds.

Well, the Spirit of God seemed to whisper to me, months ago, that I needed to help "carry this person into the Pool of Bethesda."  I assumed it meant help teach them how to be happy, and to learn about the loving nature of God.  In turn help to heal them of anxiety and depression.  But that clearly has not happened!

Tonight I decided to read the source of where I had learned about this concept of the "pool of Bethesda."  I read the tear-jerking article and decided that the best thing I can do for my friend is to serve and love with patience and a non-critical ear. (And a Few Other things)  When it comes to certain people I have plenty of patience.  But, I'm not so good with complainers!  And well,...I'm not a critical person, but I can tell that I need to offer this person a better listening ear, and allow them to express themselves without telling them what they need to be doing to be happier, or to give them platitudes.  (I'm great with that! But apparently it is not helpful to those who struggle in certain ways.)  I need to serve people like this more patiently, and with greater understanding. I need to leave their healing to the Savior, and just love them.

I recommend the WHOLE article, but here's a little to feast on:

Carrying Others to the Pool of Bethesda (BY ANN E. TANNER)

In the fifth chapter of John, the Savior goes to Jerusalem during the “feast of the Jews,” or Passover (see verse 1). He decides to visit the pool of Bethesda. Tradition had it that when the waters of the pool moved, or were troubled by an angel (verse 4), the first person immersed in the water would be completely healed. 

We know that the pool attracted the “blind, halt, withered,” and others who were sick or had disabilities (verse 3). The day the Savior visited was no different.

“And a certain man was there, which had an infirmity thirty and eight years. 

“When Jesus saw him lie, and knew that he had been now a long time in that case, he saith unto him, Wilt thou be made whole? 

“The impotent man answered him, Sir, I have no man, when the water is troubled, to put me into the pool: but while I am coming, another steppeth down before me.

“Jesus saith unto him, Rise, take up thy bed, and walk. And immediately the man was made whole, and took up his bed, and walked” (verses 5–9). 

There are many in the Church today who wait, metaphorically speaking, by the pool of Bethesda hoping to be carried into the healing waters. War veterans might suffer from horrific memories and broken bodies. Other Saints might suffer from the isolation of depression or addiction. Widows live alone or face failing health; families feel devastated by a child’s illness or an unexpected accident; and caregivers work long, lonely hours taking care of a family member. Who will carry these infirm to the pool?

The Savior provided five distinctive examples during His visit to the pool that can serve as guidelines to us in ministering to the sick and afflicted:

1. He looked for one in need.
2. He listened without criticism.
3. He often gave anonymously.
4. He understood and acknowledged grief or disease.
5. He followed up with the sufferer.

And here are the parts that particularly stood out to me.

Listen without Criticism
In John 5:6 we learn that the Savior saw the infirm man “and knew that he had been now a long time in that case.” The Savior allowed the man to explain his situation and his need. Because we are not omniscient, we need to first listen—and do so without being critical.

Often, what is needed most is for us to be prayerful and to listen without giving advice or platitudes. People who are suffering don’t need our explanations for their condition. Our well-meaning attempts to put the situation in perspective (our perspective) can unintentionally come across as demeaning or insensitive. In preparing this article and conducting research, I asked numerous individuals what had been most helpful in returning to health and functionality. Every person said they needed someone to listen to their story or situation without being critical.

When we are prayerful, the Spirit can help us know what to say. We might think about saying “I’m so sorry for your loss,” or “I don’t know exactly how you feel, but I’m happy to help in any way possible,” or simply give a hug, or talk to the grieving person about a favorite memory of their loved one. In doing so, we are listening and responding in a Christlike way 

Learn about Grief

We know from other scripture that Jesus Christ knows intimately all that we suffer and experience. As Isaiah 53:5 teaches, He “was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.” Jesus Christ had learned about and experienced what we suffer so that He could “know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities” (Alma 7:12).

We also can learn and study about what typically happens to individuals in time of crisis.

• Know that people tend to lose their concentration and ability to think clearly for sustained periods.

• Know that victims and patients are not always able to maintain normal sleep patterns.

• Know that many feel a sense of helplessness and numbness. ¹  

• Know that grief is a normal and natural reaction to loss ² and that the victim might not have the energy to respond to requests and questions.

 Be prayerful and as you learn these things, you can increase empathy and compassion for the individual and improve your ability to look for needs. 

The Savior performed many miracles during His earthly ministry, including the one He performed at Bethesda. Ultimately, healing comes from the Savior Himself, but we can help continue His work of making people whole as we minster to those who face sickness, grief, or disabilities. By using the Savior as our guiding light, we too can learn to find a need, listen without criticism, give anonymously, learn about disease and grief, and follow up with the sufferer.

When this person I have a hard time with comes around again, I assure you that my outlook of how to help them will change. I will not so much try to "heal" them with teaching them how to implement my ideas, instead I will to comfort them with by listening, and praying for words from the spirit of God.

I hope that if you are in this kind of situation that you will have some tools to help you through.  I'd love to hear how it goes for you.

All my best,
Christine