It's been a day of reflection for me. I wish I could tell you've I've done it with all cheerfulness. But, in fact, today has been "one of those days." It started last night when I realized my 6 year old really was feeling sick. He fell asleep on my bed at 5 pm, and only woke up around 8:30 pm, when I was finishing up scriptures and prayers with the other children. He went potty and went right back to sleep. (If you know my ADHD sweetheart, then you know he'd only act this way when sick!) I tucked his feverish body in bed, and climbing into my own bed realized I felt a bit queezy. Added to that my 4 year old started to become feverish and moaned and groaned all night long.
It only made sense to keep them home the next morning, right? Maybe it was because I was tired from a long night, but we slept in, and skipped school. I soon realized when I woke up that they weren't as sick as I thought, but I still felt unpleasantly out of sorts. So home they stayed.
I'll spare you the details, but while my back was turned they threw my expensive camera out the second floor window. Intentionally! (And no, it was not in the protective case!) I tell you now, I feel so grateful it is not broken! However, I was not my sweetest self in response to their behavior! I rarely yell, but I did on this occasion. I gave my 6 year old son a swat. Again, this is rare for me. I needed him to understand that this intentional behavior was not right. I also placed him in a time out. I then proceeded to do the same with 4 year old brother. They were both involved in the occurrence.
After placing 4 year old in a time out, I rushed past 6 year old son, and again made angry remarks like, "How could you do this to me? I don't throw your toys out the window!" What I saw when he was huddled there in his time out corner upset me. For in his eyes and tense body movements, I saw his worry and fear of me. My heart felt badly. I grew up in a home of abuse. I remembered being in a corner feeling afraid. While my actions today would by no means be considered abuse, they were not the action of the sweet Mom he's used to. At least not the Mom I've become over the last couple of years.
I could see his worry, fear, and sadness in his eyes, and I felt awful. I know Heavenly Father wants me to show love and care for the most precious gifts he has placed in my life. I prayerfully asked Heavenly Father to help me feel nicer and I asked his forgiveness for over-reacting.
My natural instincts changed from anger and worry over possible damage to a camera I could not replace, to wanting to be the Mom God wants me to be for my children. I still defined my expectations for the boys, and they lost consequences---like treats today. They also had to help clean up their room, and could not play outside for a while. But no longer was anger helping me choose my parenting actions. Instead, I chose to allow love and patience to dictate my actions. I made sure my children knew they were loved after that.
Today I was listening to a wonderful talk as I cleaned up my room (mostly toys and stray things that seem to float around a home with young children!). It was a fitting topic called, Finding Joy In the Journey by Thomas S. Monson. Here are a few thing that stood out to me. (Okay, maybe a few more than a few--but some gems. I would recommend it all, because he shares some touching stories.)
I begin by mentioning one of the most inevitable aspects of our lives here upon the earth, and that is change. At one time or another we’ve all heard some form of the familiar adage: “Nothing is as constant as change.”
Throughout our lives, we must deal with change. Some changes are welcome; some are not. There are changes in our lives which are sudden, such as the unexpected passing of a loved one, an unforeseen illness, the loss of a possession we treasure. But most of the changes take place subtly and slowly.
Day by day, minute by minute, second by second we went from where we were to where we are now. The lives of all of us, of course, go through similar alterations and changes. The difference between the changes in my life and the changes in yours is only in the details. Time never stands still; it must steadily march on, and with the marching come the changes.
This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now.
If you have children who are grown and gone, in all likelihood you have occasionally felt pangs of loss and the recognition that you didn’t appreciate that time of life as much as you should have. Of course, there is no going back, but only forward. Rather than dwelling on the past, we should make the most of today, of the here and now, doing all we can to provide pleasant memories for the future.
If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly.
Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. Wrote William Shakespeare, “They do not love that do not show their love.” 3 We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us.
Send that note to the friend you’ve been neglecting; give your child a hug; give your parents a hug; say “I love you” more; always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. Friends move away, children grow up, loved ones pass on. It’s so easy to take others for granted, until that day when they’re gone from our lives and we are left with feelings of “what if” and “if only.” Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.” 4
Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows.
Said one well-known author: “Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend … when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness]—the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.” 6
Said the Lord in a revelation given through the Prophet Joseph Smith, “In nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things.” 10 May we be found among those who give our thanks to our Heavenly Father. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues.
Despite the changes which come into our lives and with gratitude in our hearts, may we fill our days—as much as we can—with those things which matter most. May we cherish those we hold dear and express our love to them in word and in deed.
He taught us how to pray. He taught us how to serve. He taught us how to live. His life is a legacy of love. The sick He healed; the downtrodden He lifted; the sinner He saved.
The time came when He stood alone. Some Apostles doubted; one betrayed Him. The Roman soldiers pierced His side. The angry mob took His life. There yet rings from Golgotha’s hill His compassionate words, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” 11
Earlier, perhaps perceiving the culmination of His earthly mission, He spoke the lament, “Foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.” 12 “No room in the inn” 13 was not a singular expression of rejection—just the first. Yet He invites you and me to receive Him. “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.” 14
Who was this Man of sorrows, acquainted with grief? Who is the King of glory, this Lord of hosts? He is our Master. He is our Savior. He is the Son of God. He is the Author of our Salvation. He beckons, “Follow me.” 15 He instructs, “Go, and do thou likewise.” 16 He pleads, “Keep my commandments.” 17
Let us follow Him. Let us emulate His example. Let us obey His word. By so doing, we give to Him the divine gift of gratitude.
Brothers and sisters, my sincere prayer is that we may adapt to the changes in our lives, that we may realize what is most important, that we may express our gratitude always and thus find joy in the journey. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.When I came to blog tonight, I was going to touch upon my feelings of loneliness, and personal concerns I felt today. But, in truth, as I read the above talk, reflected on my day, and consider my blessings, I feel comforted. My life certainly has areas of sorrow over things out of my control, but Heavenly Father does not leave me alone to face my life. As I look to him, He always provides comfort and direction.
I Stand All Amazed
1. I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me,
Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me.
I tremble to know that for me he was crucified,
That for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died.
(Chorus)
Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me
Enough to die for me!
Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!
2. I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine
To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine,
That he should extend his great love unto such as I,
Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify.
3. I think of his hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt!
Such mercy, such love and devotion can I forget?
No, no, I will praise and adore at the mercy seat,
Until at the glorified throne I kneel at his feet.
Text and music: Charles H. Gabriel, 1856-1932
I hope you know that it is never too late to improve your life, or change it altogether. I never thought it possible. But over the last two years, I have gone from being in a pretty messed up standard of living and a pathetic view of myself and the world, to a life or greater order and peace. Trust me, through Him all things are possible. He didn't place us here alone to face our battles. God put people in our lives to help us, as we can help them. We each have special things to offer one another. Don't be afraid to reach out for help.
Recently at my stake conference, my stake president spoke of how a person drowning in the middle of the
sea, will never be able to save himself, unless someone throws him a rescue line. And yet, even then, ultimately the person in need of being saved must determine if they grab hold of the rope. Being rescued takes effort and responsibility on both sides. No one can help you save your life, unless you want to be saved! I needed to consider that.
19 ¶a Repent ye therefore, and be b converted, that your sins may bec blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from thed presence of the Lord;
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