Slow to learn....

I've been feeling discouraged.  I've been struggling with my identity.  Am I capable enough to continue climb the uphill battle and become the stronger woman that Heavenly Father wants me to become?  

I'm torn in so many directions I don't know what to do first, and I've started feeling very overwhelmed.  How do I manage a house, help my children reach their full potential (when I struggle to reach my own!), and help my husband with gentle kindness and patience.  How can I fill my time with greater achievement?  Do I make more efforts to obtain a job to help support our family?  And, if I do, how in the world will I balance the things I already struggle to balance?  The list of my concerns go on and on. 

And most important... How do I keep my focus on the Savior and trust in his grace, that same power that enables me to become more than I am, so that everything else will fall into place in my life?   I don't want to remain average, or probably more honestly stated....remain in my below average state.  I want to rise to new heights and see new dimensions that can only be seen through the lenses Heavenly Father can help me wear.

This morning I was writing in my journal and expressing my discouragements and fears.  I especially felt worried that I could never be truly loved in my life, because "I'm not good enough." (I don't need to remind you such thoughts are LIES from the devil, who wants to destroy my feelings of self-worth.  This kind of thought is NOT (Nor, ever could be) from God) As I carefully wrote my feelings, the hymn "Savior, Redeemer of My Soul" very clearly played into my thoughts.  Indeed, I need to remember that as long as I am loved by Heavenly Father, I have the greatest love possible.

1. Savior, Redeemer of my soul,

Whose mighty hand hath made me whole,
Whose wondrous pow’r hath raised me up

And filled with sweet my bitter cup!
What tongue my gratitude can tell,
O gracious God of Israel.

2. Never can I repay thee, Lord,
But I can love thee. Thy pure word,
Hath it not been my one delight,
My joy by day, my dream by night?
Then let my lips proclaim it still,
And all my life reflect thy will.

3. O’errule mine acts to serve thine ends.
Change frowning foes to smiling friends.
Chasten my soul till I shall be
In perfect harmony with thee.
Make me more worthy of thy love,
And fit me for the life above.

Text: Orson F. Whitney, 1855-1931
Music: Harry A. Dean, 1892-1987. 
(c) 1948 IRI

For me, music has become a special gift God has given me to help me return home to him.  I need a

lot of love and encouragement, and as I keep trying to do His will, I am regularly comforted by silent, yet very audible songs to my thoughts that help direct focus on Him.

I still have my worries, but the comfort I feel as I listen to that song reminds me of where to place my focus in life--on Heavenly Father and His son, Jesus Christ.  The journey to become a better me isn't going to happen overnight, but if I walk true and faithfully on the pathways created by God, I will find tremendous rewards of happier moments, and comfort for the moments of doubt and fear.

I hope you will listen for the quiet songs or thoughts that will undoubtedly come to your mind in the moments of your days.  Often these heavenly messages come when we allow ourselves quiet moments without distraction of television and radio, so try and turn down the noise of the world, so that you can tune into to heavenly  messages.  Those messages may come in the form of a song or hymn, a simple word, a scripture, a long forgotten memory from your life or from the mouth of a loved one, an old poem, or in some other form. 

Here is a sampling of beautiful scriptures on just a few gifts of the spirit, found at Moroni 10:

5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

 6 And whatsoever thing is good is just and true; wherefore, nothing that is good denieth the Christ, but acknowledgeth that he is.

 7 And ye may ^aknow that he is, by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore I would exhort you that ye deny not the power of God; for he worketh by power, ^baccording to the faith of the children of men, the same today and tomorrow, and forever.

 8 And again, I exhort you,...that ye deny not the ^agifts of God, for they are many; and they come from the same God. And there are ^bdifferent ways that these gifts are administered; but it is the same God who worketh all in all; and they are given by the manifestations of the ^cSpirit of God unto men, to profit them. 

Listen carefully and prayerfully, and you too will hear His loving and beckoning voice calling you forward, onward and upward!

Christine