Message of Love for a friend (You!)

It's the 2nd of July, 2019. This message is for a friend. You know who you are! ;)

My Dear Friend,

As of today it's been 91 days since the fateful night of April 2, 2019. I pray for you every day... pretty much several times an hour because of the turmoil and despair you must be going through and, well, because I miss you so much! Your absence is felt with each tick of the clock.

Every month on the second, I offer extra hard prayers for you because I have an idea of what you are going through with your unspoken (only to God) feelings. I also spend time on the 2nd of the month to gauge where I am emotionally and spiritually, and I wonder if either of us will forget the cementing truth that binds us as friends.

 I cry a lot less over the ordeal and the whole gamut of emotions (and because of the help of God_ I'm finding that I feel positively happy even in the exile of my new "Zion" "home" (except for the portion of anguish and grief hidden in my heart-- which only God fully understands. Though you have a better idea than most of the whys!)  I'm certain my heart shall never change as it pertains to you. Though my heart must remain dormant for now. I hope you understand the silence, but, in the words of Robert Frost:

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep,   

But I have promises to keep,   

And miles to go before I sleep..." 

But sometimes, God helps me catch a glimpse of your sad face in passing a parking lot, or as you drive past me. At these times, I clutch my heart and pray for my courage and yours.

I feel so sorry for a few specific parts of what I said in the past. But, especially oh so very sorry for my naivete and foolishness of expression! BUT.... while I would in retrospect have changed some things I've expressed and shown much more wisdom-- 98% of the rest would remain unchanged.

Why must I be troubled by the 2%.? Well, you can guess. But for that 2% of poorly controlled expression, I'm so miserably sorry. I'm an imperfect person, and I hope you won't or haven't held my weaknesses against me-- just as I don't hold  yours against you.

Today, I stopped to carefully consider my words and the truth is that my message of love, forgiveness, and compassion remains the same... even for all that has happened.

I reiterate what I said so many times before: "Please, let His Love guide you Home." "I Believe in You." "You are worthy of being loved." 

I may return to share some new sentiments another day, but for now I want you to know that even in the silence of your birthday, or missed holidays, or songs that go unshared... you will Not be forgotten! I will always remember the beauty of you, my beloved friend. I will continue to pray that the light of God's love will light your mind and heart to a remembrance of who you are and the beautiful life He intends for you, if you'll only reach out and grasp it. 

Right now I think of the song words:

"There is hope, for every soul that's lost.

There is a way back home, 

no matter where you roam. 

Let His love heal you 

and lead you there. 

There's a place for every heart in pain,

a place where there's not hurt, 

and there's no shame

let His love heal you 

and lead you There."

 - Michael McLean" (From the Song "From God's Arms to My Arms to Yours")

My cherished friend, in my arms and heart you will only ever find safety and love. That love is merely a small portion of the Savior's perfect Love! Seek Him, seek Home and Remember: You Are LOVED!

Let COURAGE guide you toward LOVE and LIGHT and TRUTH.

John 15:13

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

PLEASE, bravely lay down Your life for HIS LOVE! Sacrifice of self is worth every loss! The cost we must pay is worth eternal joy!

WAIT AND SEE (BRANDON HEATH)

I love you, Christine

Wait and See! 

Brandon Heath

I was born in Tennessee
Late July humidity
Doctor's said I was lucky to be alive
I've been trouble since the day that I got here
Trouble to the day that I disappear
That'll be the day that I finally get it right

There is hope for me yet

Because God won't forget

All the plans 

He's made for me

I'll have to wait and see
He's not finished with me yet
He's not finished with me yet

I never really was that good in school
I talked too much, I broke the rules
Teachers thought I was a hopeless fool, alright

I don't know how but I made it through
Just one of those things that you gotta do
I always had a knack for telling the truth

Still wondering why I'm here
Still wrestling with my fear
But oh, He's up to something
And the farther on I go
I've seen enough to know that I'm not here for nothing
He's up to something

So now's my time to be a man
Follow my heart as far as I can
No telling where I'm ending up tonight
I never slow down or so it seems
But singing my heart it's one of my dreams
All I gotta do is hold on tight

He's not finished with me yet
He's not finished with me yet