Day 73 of 365 days of solace: Visit with an Angel

Tonight I visited with an angel.  She has blonde hair, blue eyes, and a gentle spirit.  She is not an
angel from heaven, but a fellow classmate.  Her name is Melanie, and she gave me a ride home from class.  As we drove we talked about our class that night, and our essays, and how much we love the program.

Somewhere in the midst of talking we grew deeper and more reflective of life.  As she drove up to my house she parked and we visited a few minutes more.  But those few minutes turned into hours.  In those hours we shared deeply personal experiences of life, abuses, personal failures, and heartbreak.  But, best of all, we shared our testimony of how Heavenly Father has helped to lift us up to higher places of safety in our life.  Places by which we can see a more expansive view of eternity.

It was a sweet time of bonding, and understanding.  I saw how even though our lives are anything but perfect, nor easy, that Heavenly Father is directing us to change for the better.  She shared how she used to sob over what a failure she was as a Mom, and that she felt horrible at her terrible lifestyle, but how Heavenly Father helps her to not get hung up on those memories of who she was.  Now, instead, He helps her to see and remember just how far she has come. He hasn't removed all her depression, but He has helped removed the depth of it.  She is doing things now (like going to school, and teaching in church sometimes) which she never could have done in the past.

In parting, I said how I always walk away from a situation and feel worried about having shared to much, but that I don't think I'd be worried this time.  I was absolutely surprised when she confirmed that she did that all the time too.  I've never had anyone say they felt that way.  Melanie said something that really touched my heart when she said, "Oh, you don't have to feel that way tonight, because I know I wont."  She continued, "I know your heart, and while there are some differences in our experiences I feel like we have really connected and understand each other. I know I can trust you with what I've said."

Hearing that she trusted me was music to my ears. I am a very genuine, trusting person.  Sometimes I've regretted that because some people don't earn the right to be trusted.  And sometimes it has been so very hurtful when people act like I can't be trusted, or taken at face value, when I know with everything in me that I can be trusted. When people don't know my heart, and are unkind with me I feel like a confused child. I wonder what I did wrong to portray that message, when I acted or spoke with no malice or guile.

As I've gotten more mature I realize that the perspectives people have about me are general based on their own insecurities and inadequacies and that I can try to learn from their responses, but that I don't need to doubt myself, even if they may doubt me.

But to hear Melanie, with all the sincerity of her soul, say that she trusted me was a special coin of memory placed withing my heart. I know I am trustworthy, which is what makes it all the more special.

As I walked into my home nearing 11 pm, I smiled and thanked Heavenly Father for blessing me with the opportunity to get to know Melanie better, for helping me see His hand in her life, and to feel that bond of sisterhood between we two women who want to know God better, love Him more, and learn
This unexpected opportunity was yet another tender mercy to remind me that Heavenly Father is directing my life, and that He has beautiful plans in store.

I hope that you will prayerfully look for ways that will help you see that God is orchestrating your life- especially during the times when you allow him to lead you through the days and nights of uncertainty.

Love, Christine

Day 70 of 365 days of solace: Sweet song and scripture of comfort

I decided to go up with my family into the canyon. It was last minute, impromptu stuff, which is the way of my artist self.  It took my husband some convincing because he'd had a long, hard day at work.  But ultimately he drove all 7 of us into the canyon.  :)

By the time we got there it was raining!  But we found a site that we love, and it had slowed to a light drizzle.  Another nice man said he, his wife, and son were done with their small gas grill and we could borrow it.  They were going to hang around a while.  I took him up on the offer and he brought the table top grill over to out table.

What a tender mercy, I feel. It allowed us to eat more quickly, not have to search for fire wood that wood burn well, etc... Best of all, we could still enjoy the mountain experience, but get the children home in time for an early bed on a school night.

It was nice to get out of the house, and try to set aside my pressing worry.  I am feeling better today because I've been able to delay something for a couple of weeks. Hopefully by that time a miracle happens, or I'm stronger to face what I think is the inevitable. :(  I was really blessed with the peace of God last night to be at peace. I had my consuming fear removed.  I didn't sleep perfectly, because I did a lot of praying.  But that's fine. I'd rather pray and increase in feelings of trust and peace toward God, than try to deal with my personal suffering alone.

I believe God especially directs and blesses his children and they "incline" their ears and hearts toward Him.

Daniel 9:1818 O my God, incline thine ear, and hear; open thine eyes, and behold our desolations, and the city which is called by thy name: for we do not present our supplications before thee for our righteousnesses, but for thy great mercies.

A few minutes ago I was worried about something, and as I prayed this song quietly came into my thoughts. I don't think I've heard this song in 20 years. It is very sweet, and reminds me that the Spirit of God can bless and direct me if I seek him, listen, and follow His words.


I hope you have faith and trust in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I hope that you prayerfully seek to see the world through the eyes of faith and trust- knowing that God will not fail you.

Let us listen to the "Still, Small voice of God.,
Christine

Day 69 of 365 days of solace:Storm on the horizon

There's a storm on the horizon. It clearly sits with its dark, gloomy clouds in the near distance. I began to feel afraid today, and the tears started to singe my soul, but angelic music fills the silence of my fears, and I am not left comfortless.

I am trying to get to sleep earlier now, so I won't speak more. I'm much too tired! I just know that as long as I have faith in Heavenly Father and allow the Savior's atonement to strengthen me and heal me, I will be alright in time.  There is no storm that can uproot me from my firm foundation in Christ.


Keep the Faith and trust that God has you in His care, Christine

Day 63 of 365 Days of Solace: Artist for rent!;)

I'm off to another state to visit my little sister.  She paid for me to be shuttled out here, so that I can teach her 15 year old daughter art.  I've been apprehensive about this visit, but as I packed and made arrangements for the care of my youngest child, I felt assurance from the Spirit of God that everything was going to work out well.

I spent about 6 hours on a bus, and most of that was spent doing my online school work.  Though I did have and hour or two visiting with Mike, a very nice young man, who loves the outdoors and had decided to live in his car, because he wanted to escape the clutches of material possessions.  Now he says he experiences freedom in hiking and being close to God in nature.

I can certainly appreciate the freedom he much feel by not being fettered at in bondage to earthly possessions.  It's what I continue to work to free myself of.  Even though I've made some great changes in my life in getting rid of things, I know I still have too much.

I can also appreciate the feelings of being outdoors and hiking and breathing in clean, fresh air. He encouraged me to take it up, and to really get my body moving. I told him about the changes I've been making over the years, and how God has been taking me a step at a time in putting my life in order. God began with teaching me to trust in Him completely.  Then He taught me how to make improvements in my family relationship, and the condition of my home.  And little by little I have encouragements and thoughts from the Spirit of God that I need to make specific goals to take one more step forward.

It's been amazing how I went from a hopeless woman, to a woman of hope!  Where I didn't use to believe others could change, because I had not hope for myself, I now KNOW that God can and does work miracles in the lives of others, and it is through his grace that I can relay that message.

Mike understood that, because his Mom is a recovered drug addict.  She now helps others reabilitate their lives, and he has seen in this how even the most "hopeless" cases can change, but that they must want it bad enough, and be willing to work hard enough for change.

Life is about change.  And I have become a new woman, but I still didn't know how I could come int my sister's home and feel comfort here.  Her daughter and I have always struggled to get along.  Really that was in large part due to me.  But I have to tell you a miracle.!!!  I was feeling nervous to see this young woman, who just had some very serious debilitating hip surgery for a rare disorder.  I walked into her room to see her for the first time in several year.  Ad I walked up to her and looked into her face I felt nothing but immense love for her.

I was near tears at how tangible that love was.  I knew this was not on my own merit, but that God has blessed me with not only a new heart, but tonight he gave me an added measure of love.

K and I spent a delightful afternoon doing art. I taught here several watercolor techniques, and then I taught her how to do jewelry and wire work-- which she really enjoys.  AS It got later, I picked up the mess I'd made in the room with all the art supplies I'd packed to bring for lesson.  As I turned to come to the guestroom I had the thought to hug her. I try to quickly act upon impression, so I turned, walked back to her sitting on her bed and hugged her goodnight. It was another wonderful, sweet experience. I said a silent prayer of thank you to Heavenly Father, because this is truly a sweet experience!

I am thankful for the many blessings and gifts which God has helped me to develop over the eyars. I'm thankful to help even in the small ways. I am thankful that there is hope, and there is a way for everyone to come to know and love God with all their heart.

I'll try to come back and add some pictures of our art lessons, but for now I am falling asleep as I type.

I hope you are well, and that you are listening and looking around you in your various circumstances with a prayer in your heat, so that you will and know how very present a loving God and divine Eternal Heavenly Father is to each of his children.
.
Love,
Christine

Day 57 of 365 days of solace: Saving Children

Quick chalk art by me, Christine :)

I've had a cloud of gloom surrounding me today. I've thought a lot about my present situation in life, and my failings as a Mother and wife. I've doubted my capacity to do more and be more than I currently am. But, after watching this, and shedding many tears!, I feel rejuvenated. Yes, strange response, I know!

I may never have the opportunity to save and bless the lives of nearly 700 children, but I can make a difference in my small ways. I have 5 beautiful children that fill my life with great happiness. I can do my best to protect them from the evils in the world, and give them opportunities to truly live. 

What I do as a parent may not be the same as someone else, but one thing I do know is that I'm 

doing okay! My children know that within my home they are safe and loved and cared for.

I may continue to sigh when I see yet another pair of Scooby-Doo underwear, smelly socks, or grass stained jean dropped messily in the hallway, just outside the bathroom! (instead of the nearby laundry basket)--but I must try to always remember that there is so much more to 

  life than the chaos! There is love, and that pure, sweet love is what drives me forward 

- even in some unexpected storms of life. With that love in my heart, I can face any storm and come out a champion!

I looked at the men and women in these audiences, and I thought, "They truly understand what it's like to desperately want to survive the tragedy, and they truly wanted to live and breathe-even in the face of hideous evils. I wonder if they ever forgot that desire to live, when life was dark and painful?"

Let us always fight to survive, and live-- not lay down and quit, because things seem
insurmountable! "This too shall pass."

I hope that as you face your personal storms of life, you will never lose sight of how precious life really is, and how precious You are!
Christine
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ABOUT THE VIDEO:
"Sir Nicholas George Winton MBE
(born Nicholas George Wertheim; 19 May 1909 – 1 July 2015) was a British humanitarian who organized the rescue of 669 children, most of them Jewish, from Czechoslovakia on the eve of the Second World War in an operation later known as the Czech Kindertransport (German for "children transportation").

Winton found homes for the children and arranged for their safe passage to Britain.[2] The world found out about his work over 40 years later, in 1988. The British press dubbed him the "British Schindler".[3] On 28 October 2014," (wiki)