My Birthday Gift from God!

My front room chandelier, BEFORE I installed chandelier!

(AFTER) My "temple room" chandelier

Idaho Temple

I recently celebrated my birthday.  It was a pleasant enough day, but I was not my usual happy self.  I wasn't depressed.  But, I wasn't filled with light and joy, which I generally am. 

I spent my day really trying to beautify my home.  That meant first tackling the front room. I call my front room, my "temple room," because it's suppose to look like an LDS temple.  few years ago, I even installed this medallion and chandelier to help create a beautiful temple effect! 

M plays legos with our Hamster (look close!)
that's "Ninja" or "donut" depending on who is talking!
M named him  "d

But, that little dream temple room" of mine, seems at times not to be permanently achievable!  On this particular birthday cleaning day I was collecting stray Lego pieces, loose nails (from my little boy, who loves tools and nails, like I do!... but don't get me started on the holes he intentionally put in his bedroom drywall!), and pieces of school papers, bills, or my 6 year old construction worker/artists creations of colors duct tape,paper, and cardboard tubes!  

As I went about my day cleaning, and trying to contain Lego pieces! I had birthday visitors--women from church trying to brighten my birthday.  These church sisters are friends, and they brought me not only gifts, but they also brought me cards (I love a handwritten note).  One sister even brought me dinner, with a gift and card.  

My son playing with the tangram I made!

In fact, I had so many women, show up so closely to my door, though unplanned, that I joked that I should have thrown a birthday party for me! 

Even though I was getting the things I always thought I wanted (gifts, notes, time, and attention) on my birthday, I just felt rather somber. I had even called my husband, as he was leaving work, to make sure he came straight home. I knew that he probably hadn't gotten me a birthday gift, and would stop on the way home from work to find one, but I didn't care if I got one or not!

Dinner from my friend Judy G.

The long and short of the story is, that my heart felt heavy and burdened. And I really could not comprehend my place in "The Circle of Life." I could not understand why anyone would celebrate my birthday, and I allowed a few people in my life, to affect the truth of everything else!

Just a few of the gifts I received from friends

Well, wouldn't you know it, but my husband had stopped at our local thrift store to get me a gift! Even though I said, to come straight home, and he agreed.  He handed me a crumpled bag, and the contents were hidden within the sloppy wad of thrift shop bagging!  

Initially, I told him I wasn't ready to open it, because I was in the middle of using wood cutting equipment-- table saw, band saw, and miter saw.  But when the power over-loaded in the garage, I was forced to retire  cutting out wood tangrams! (I had envisioned us sitting around watching a sweet family friendly movie, and painting the wood, or working on finishing up a doll outfit for a birthday gift I am making for my sister. Neither of those happened!)

I came in and sat down, and then my husband handed me my gift. I opened it to discover a doll.  She was pretty enough, but fairly dirty on her face.  And as I surveyed her face, I realized she was not only dirty, but she was cracked.

I wasn't very impressed with the doll, because she had brown short hair and brown eyes. I favor a doll that "looks" like me, with longer, straight brown hair and greenish hazel eyes. But, it was alright, I told my husband, "I really like dolls, because of their clothing."  

I began to remove the dolls lovely lacy outfit.  As I did so, my hand caught hold of something on the back of her dress.  I remarked out loud, "What?!  She has her dress bolted on!" I couldn't believe the'd made her clothes non-removable! With disappointment and chagrin I flipped her over to figure out why in the world, they had ruined perfectly good doll clothes! 

I was amazed to discover that it was not a screw. It was in fact a music box key. She was  a windup key in her back. She was a music box doll!  Suddenly it didn't matter that she was dirty, or cracked, or had brown eyes and curly hair. I loved this doll for her music!

With excitement I wound her up. I waited with surprise to discover what song she played.  As she played the song didn't sound familiar-- which may have had more to do with my distraction from the noise of my nearby children.  But, no worries, I told myself-- she played music, and her value increased tenfold on that premise alone.

As the unknown song played, I expressed appreciation to my husband. I asked him how he had settled on a doll for me. (He had never in our 18 years of marriage bought me a doll before, so why now?) he said that as he drove home he had the thought to stop in to Deseret Industries and buy me a doll.  He added that there were two dolls, but he had no explanation why he'd chosen this one.  In fact, he didn't even know she had a music box. He just picked her up, without a second though, and  he went directly to check out.

As we talked, I realized that the melody of the doll had become very familiar, and into my thoughts the direct lines of the song was recognizable-- "Country road take me home to the place I belong."  I was struck profoundly, and my tears began to flow.  In fact, I was sobbing, and the numbness of emotional I'd felt all day, had melted into a pool of gratitude that Heavenly Father had heard my heart.

To think, minutes before I was looking at this imperfect doll, thinking how I wished she had different colored eyes, darker lipstick, straight hair, and no cracked face. In truth, I wished she looked a little more beautiful and perfect, like my other more cherished dolls of exquisite beauty.  

The symbolism could not escape me, and it was the reason for my well of tears. Here was this doll, who represented me. God had directed my good husband, by his Holy Spirit; and despite my  birthday request to please "just come straight home,"  my husband instead listens to a very soft impression to buy me a doll. 

The doll, like me, has been abandoned and cracked in her life.  And like me also, there are thing which in her appearance that are imperfect--like my crooked tooth, and blemished skin.  And like me, a sense of home has not come easily. I too have found myself in places I never planned to be.  

That doll was an assurance that I have a home, which I am headed for. Ultimately that home is my heavenly home. A home which is eternal. And it doesn't matter how cracked or broken I become on the journey, my future, my home, my eternal well being doesn't depend one whit upon my physical appearance.  My eternal and spiritual well being rests upon the purity of my spirit, indeed, upon the music of my soul!

Heavenly Father has blessed me with so many gifts, among which is my gift of song. He wants me to let my divine song help guide me home, as well as to brighten the lives of others.  Heavenly Father wants me to understand that I am headed home, and that He and His angels are near me every step of the way.  And as long as I am taking steps toward him, and reaching out my hand toward Him- like a trusting toddler, learning to walk- He will be able to guide me home!

Heavenly Father wants the same for you. But, as with me, it all boils down to the same thing- He wants our "heart." We read just a few examples of this in a few many scriptures:

Music doll reaches in to our "treasure box."
Inside this box we keep our scripture treasures! 

Mark 12:30
And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

Moroni 7:44

.... none is acceptable before God, save the meek and lowly in heart; and if a man be meek and lowly in heart, and confesses by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ, he must needs have charity; for if he have not charity he is nothing; wherefore he must needs have charity.

John 14:2

In my Father’s house are many mansions.... I go to prepare a place for you.

I hope that we will remember that the Lord does looks upon our heart-- not upon our physical appearance. When we each truly understand this, we will take confidence in knowing that what is within us, is of utmost importance to our eternal well-being.

1 Samuel 16:7

But the Lord said.... Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.

Know that you are loved, and important to a loving creator. Your value cannot be measured on an earthly scale. The music you have to offer others, through clean hands, and pure heart, is the best gift you can ever give him, while here in your sojourn on earth!

As I close this blog post, this song plays into my thoughts, "Beyond this moment lies eternity."

Let's make decisions which will help us home!

Christine