Science versus God

Just now, as I was brushing my teeth (and feeling some slight pain), I silently and prayerfully asked Heavenly Father is He still wants me to wait on a medical procedure that I have been advised to go under surgery for.  While my condition does not necessarily pose serious risks, currently, many doctors and concerned friends and family have told me that I should take care of the matter, so that it doesn't result in unforeseen problems.  

I admit, logically it makes no sense that I should wait.  Financially, I can afford it.  I also have a large network of family and friends that would gladly step in to help my family and I- as well as to make meals. So why wait? I'm not sure- exactly.  I do know that when I've taken it to God in prayer, I feel that now is not the time to have surgery.

This has been going on for months.  No, years.  Initially, I asked about this issue in prayer a lot-- but that last time (before tonight) that I asked Him, was last July.  I remember I was up camping in the high uintahs. I was sleeping in the front seat of the van, because the pain of sleeping on the ground is accentuated by my condition.  It was in the dark hours of night and I was restless over another matter of concern.  I said a prayer very much like this... "Heavenly Father, You tell me to wait on this, but the doctors and medical science tell me to take care of it now so nothing bad happens from it.  Family and friends doubt my wisdom in waiting.  If I'm really supposed to continue at this time without surgery, would thou please let me know that it's going to be alright." Immediately I heard a very specific line from the Frozen song, Let it Go... I heard,

"It's funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can't get to me at all!."



In that moment, I knew that the distance of time would help make the reason clear, and that I need to let this go, and trust in His wisdom- over that of science.  That moment was profound for me, and indeed I did leave it to Him to know all things- even where there are no real explanations,except spiritual ones.

Tonight, as I walked uncomfortably and mildly painfully I asked in prayer again,.. "Please let me know that I'm doing the right thing in waiting on this surgery."  Within seconds this song played into my thoughts, "Walk tall you're a daughter.  A daughter of God."  I smiled and said, "Okay then, I guess it means to wait on it. Thank you."  And then the title of an LDS hymn came to my mind, "When Faith Endures."  (Interesting in itself, because usually I would hear the words and the melody of the first line-- but I think the emphasis from the Spirit of God, is that I need to keep my FAITH.



When Faith Endures (lyrics)

I will not doubt, I will not fear;
God's love and strength are always near.
His promised gift helps me to find
An inner strength and peace of mind.
I give the Father willingly
My trust, my prayers, humility.
His Spirit guides; his love assures
That fear departs when faith endures.

Text: Naomi W. Randall, 1908-2001. (c) 1985 IRI
Music: Stephen M. Jones, b. 1960. (c) 1985 IRI
The peaks and valleys of life are fascinating.  When we were young, we felt so intelligent and capable. Often we felt invincible- as though nothing could stop us.  Most of us hadn't experienced the depth and range of feelings and emotions possible within the walls of spirit.  We couldn't fathom where life would lead.    It is the same with experiences, the perplexities of influence, choice, and direction are generally unnoticeable until after we reach certain destinations.  And, at those times, we can look back and say things like, "How thankful I am my sweet band teacher Mr. Moglia was to give me that vocal solo- it was my first real experience with performing, and was a boost to my self confidence."  Or, "Who knew that my introducing myself the day she walked passed my house, would lead to a dear friendship."  Life is just like that, and we usually don't understand the why's and wherefore's of most things.

So I will continue to hold off on surgery.  I will continue to lightheartedly tell people that I don't recover well from surgery, and that I can wait for the pain of the experience.  I have told 2-4 people that I feel impressed to wait to take care of this condition, but I have not explained much-- other than I feel I should wait.  I do have a few ideas why.  I don't understand completely, but I've had thoughts and impressions that seem to give me some insight-- though not remotely all the reasons. If I am truly in tune with the Spirit of God- and oh, I hope I am. (though sometimes I doubt myself), then waiting will be the best thing for me.

I am not saying to rebel from having surgery, not put off taking care of important medical needs.  What I am saying is this:  Heavenly Father sees the complete picture of dynamics in our lives.  His vision is clear and comprehensive.  If He tells me to wait, then I will!  After all, braces used to be the method in which teeth and jaws were straightened and corrected!  Who knew clear, removable plastic "invisalign" trays would be an option.  Who knew they'd be removable, and that you could brush, floss and eat with them off.  Who knew that a computer could calculate how to straighten the teeth in this technique, how many trays would be needed, and how long the process would take by computer calculation!  Amazing!

I will wait to have this surgery.  I will have faith that Heavenly Faith will go before me to prepare the way.  I will listen to His voice, far above the cacophony of the world.  I will find peace and direction by hearkening to His will

2 Timothy 1: 

 7 For God hath not given us the spirit of ^afear; but of^bpower, and of ^clove, and of a sound mind. 

 8 Be not thou therefore ^aashamed of the ^btestimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God; 

 9 Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy ^acalling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and ^bgrace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began, 

  12 For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ^aashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day.

Live righteously.  Deny the bad habits that displease God, and turn to Him in faith.  He will lead you with a special protection and peace, if you keep His commandments.

All the best,
Christine