I started doubting a lot of things today. And in my self doubt, I started to doubt my understanding of other things. In turn those doubts caused me to feel sad and hurt. I kept telling myself to trust Heavenly Father, but then I worried I may not understand the will of God in my life.
I just really wanted to sleep my day away, as I would have in my years past of my own struggle with
depression. But, In good conscious, I couldn't justify that behavior. My young children need to see me out of bed. Not a Mom who hides away from the world by sleeping.
Problem was, I didn't know what to do with my sad feelings. Sleep really, really sounded like a good way to escape reality!! Somehow I decided to start cleaning instead of trying to find a way to escape my feelings. (And no, it's not because I necessarily like cleaning. In fact, if I could afford a maid, I'd gladly relinquish such mundane tasks of life!) I cleaned the bathrooms, worked in the kitchen, and I scrubbed my four year old's drawings off the walls! (I used Mr. Clean "Magic Erasers" sponges-- I highly recommend them!!)
I realized something after being busy at work a while--- I realized I was feeling better. I feel it's because I was doing something that was increasing my self esteem. After all, I hadn't tried to "give up" my life. That's something to be proud of, even if it appears a very small thing.
There's a quote I love by an amazing Christian man, Neal A Maxwell. He says:
Work didn't take all my concern away, but because I took actions to try and improve my circumstances in those "mortal moments and minutes" I liked myself more. In liking myself more, my confidence in myself increased. I had discovered a simple"home remedy" for fighting against sadness and disappointment!
I completely understand depression. I spent a lifetime living with it, and sleeping my hours away. I also know that some people turn to drugs, alcohol, movies, smoking, gambling, food, video games, and a wide array of things to "forget" the pain they feel.
I hope you will get help and counseling with some of the more serious nature of those things, but I also hope that next time you feel like giving up on life and acting upon your vice, be it sleep, food, or addictions, that you will instead reach for a scrub brush, mop, disinfectant wipes, or the vacuum. There is satisfaction in the labor of our hands.
There are two voices that will try and direct you on your pathways through life. God's voice, and the devil's voice. God will encourage you and assure you of your worth. The devil will discourage you and try and destroy your feelings of worth. Making daily and righteous efforts of scripture, prayer and loving service of your neighbor are a few ways to thwart the devil's attempts to bring you down to misery, but I absolutely feel that honest work with our hands is another way to fight off those deceptions.
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depression. But, In good conscious, I couldn't justify that behavior. My young children need to see me out of bed. Not a Mom who hides away from the world by sleeping.
Problem was, I didn't know what to do with my sad feelings. Sleep really, really sounded like a good way to escape reality!! Somehow I decided to start cleaning instead of trying to find a way to escape my feelings. (And no, it's not because I necessarily like cleaning. In fact, if I could afford a maid, I'd gladly relinquish such mundane tasks of life!) I cleaned the bathrooms, worked in the kitchen, and I scrubbed my four year old's drawings off the walls! (I used Mr. Clean "Magic Erasers" sponges-- I highly recommend them!!)
I realized something after being busy at work a while--- I realized I was feeling better. I feel it's because I was doing something that was increasing my self esteem. After all, I hadn't tried to "give up" my life. That's something to be proud of, even if it appears a very small thing.
There's a quote I love by an amazing Christian man, Neal A Maxwell. He says:
"... there are certain mortal moments and minutes that matter—certain hinge points in the history of each human. Some seconds are so decisive they shrink the soul, while other seconds are spent so as to stretch the soul."
Work didn't take all my concern away, but because I took actions to try and improve my circumstances in those "mortal moments and minutes" I liked myself more. In liking myself more, my confidence in myself increased. I had discovered a simple"home remedy" for fighting against sadness and disappointment!
I completely understand depression. I spent a lifetime living with it, and sleeping my hours away. I also know that some people turn to drugs, alcohol, movies, smoking, gambling, food, video games, and a wide array of things to "forget" the pain they feel.
I hope you will get help and counseling with some of the more serious nature of those things, but I also hope that next time you feel like giving up on life and acting upon your vice, be it sleep, food, or addictions, that you will instead reach for a scrub brush, mop, disinfectant wipes, or the vacuum. There is satisfaction in the labor of our hands.
We read in the Bible:
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