January 2, 2020.
Today I commemorate a milestone of 9-months. 9-months of anguish, joy, sorrow... I've settled into acceptance and a certain happiness-- which always has an undertow of sorrow. It's hard to explain really. So, I won't try. # Remembering April 2, 2019 # etched in my memory # forgiveness-love-and seeking Godly humility keeps me calm.
I want to write briefly about my New Year's Day. Wednesday, my husband, children, and I braved the severe storm warning and traveled an hour and a half to have a New Year's family party. We enjoyed french toast dinner with a white elephant gift exchange. This game is always fun! I think that one of the gifts we brought was the topper of the worst, yet pretty funny gift! We boxed up an enormous pumpkin (which we have carefully maintained with our cool household temperatures and window placement) and Halloween chocolates. It was dubbed by one family member as "Pumpkin-pie-in-a-box make it yourself kit"... or something funny like that. :)) I personally LOVE pumpkin pie, baked pumpkin, or pumpkin soup (the last two of which I acquired a taste for in my travels to Australia several decades ago. Hey, I just remembered that I have an old photo of me in Australia in the 90's! I'll post it at the bottom of this post.:)
To get there we drove through some pretty horrible weather. In fact, for about ten seconds (not shown in a photo because I was too scared to think about taking one!), everything went white as we traveled through a very dangerous snowy canyon. Zero visibility with the snow. I have to say it was terrifying! Happily, when we made it through the steep canyon, we were pleased with the sunshine and lighter snow once we surpassed the deadly canyon!
Now... tangent's aside....
As we pulled onto the looping freeway to turn into our family's community I looked out over the sunny and dry, dead freeway roadside land and notes touches of orange, yellow, and red among the barren brush. On the Christian radio station, the announcer said: "We wish you a happy 2020 new year!" I took a big breath and calculated the years I've been waiting to see God fulfill his promises to me. I sadly noted that it has been 8 years. I went through my usual questions: "Did I misunderstand the Spirit of God?" "Is there still hope?" "Do I believe in what I perceive as promises?" "Should I give up now?" And so many other questions.....
As I sat there feeling sad, a song begins to play after her New Year's well wishes. And with this bit of non-coincidental hope, I decided that I will continue to trust God's perfect timing-- over my own short-sided impatience.
Here's the song I heard. I hope it helps you hold on to hope for as long as it takes for God to work his mighty miracles.
He put that fire in your soul
His love is the reason
So, what do I do from here? Give up on my dreams? Or keep believing in Him and in myself to know how to understand His voice and His love?
I hope that if you have sacred, holy, and righteous desires, that you will keep on believing in His love to shine a rainbow of promise on the landscape before you. It doesn't mean you won't have to pass through some severe storms like I literally did (and figurately have), but in the end it will all be worth it.
I don't have all the answers now. And you won't either-- but if we remember one thing only-- it will help us reach glorious destinations. That truth is that Jesus Christ is the Possible in impossible and the Hope in hopeless. Jesus is the answer to every question and Jesus is the only way to make it Home! Please have the courage to follow the Savior's narrow road of promise.
Today I commemorate a milestone of 9-months. 9-months of anguish, joy, sorrow... I've settled into acceptance and a certain happiness-- which always has an undertow of sorrow. It's hard to explain really. So, I won't try. # Remembering April 2, 2019 # etched in my memory # forgiveness-love-and seeking Godly humility keeps me calm.
I want to write briefly about my New Year's Day. Wednesday, my husband, children, and I braved the severe storm warning and traveled an hour and a half to have a New Year's family party. We enjoyed french toast dinner with a white elephant gift exchange. This game is always fun! I think that one of the gifts we brought was the topper of the worst, yet pretty funny gift! We boxed up an enormous pumpkin (which we have carefully maintained with our cool household temperatures and window placement) and Halloween chocolates. It was dubbed by one family member as "Pumpkin-pie-in-a-box make it yourself kit"... or something funny like that. :)) I personally LOVE pumpkin pie, baked pumpkin, or pumpkin soup (the last two of which I acquired a taste for in my travels to Australia several decades ago. Hey, I just remembered that I have an old photo of me in Australia in the 90's! I'll post it at the bottom of this post.:)
To get there we drove through some pretty horrible weather. In fact, for about ten seconds (not shown in a photo because I was too scared to think about taking one!), everything went white as we traveled through a very dangerous snowy canyon. Zero visibility with the snow. I have to say it was terrifying! Happily, when we made it through the steep canyon, we were pleased with the sunshine and lighter snow once we surpassed the deadly canyon!
Now... tangent's aside....
 |
This is not the photo I took as I had the following thoughts on the freeway,
but it is another photo I recently took of a sunny afternoon beyond the snowy canyon.
|
As I sat there feeling sad, a song begins to play after her New Year's well wishes. And with this bit of non-coincidental hope, I decided that I will continue to trust God's perfect timing-- over my own short-sided impatience.
Here's the song I heard. I hope it helps you hold on to hope for as long as it takes for God to work his mighty miracles.
"Reason" (by Unspoken)
This year's felt like four seasons of winter
And you'd give anything to feel the sun
Always reaching, always climbing
Always second-guessing the timing
But God has a plan, a purpose in this
You are His child and don't you forget
He put that hunger in your heart
He put that fire in your soul
His love is the reason
And you'd give anything to feel the sun
Always reaching, always climbing
Always second-guessing the timing
But God has a plan, a purpose in this
You are His child and don't you forget
He put that hunger in your heart
He put that fire in your soul
His love is the reason
(Hey) (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
To keep on believing (Hey) (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
And when you feel like giving up
When you feel like giving in
His love is the reason (Hey) (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
To keep on believing (Hey) (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
If we could pull back the curtain of Heaven
We would see His hand on everything
Every hour, every minute
Every second, He's always been in it
Don't let a shadow of a doubt take hold (Take hold)
Hold on to what you already know
He put that hunger in your heart (Hunger in your heart)
He put that fire in your soul (Fire in your soul)
His love is the reason (Hey) (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
To keep on believing (Hey) (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
And when you feel like giving up (Feel like giving up)
When you feel like giving in (Giving in)
His love is the reason (Hey) (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
To keep on believing (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)It's the reason, ah-ah-ah
It's the reason, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
His love is the reason, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
He's the peace in the madness
That you can't explain
He's the hope in the heartbreak
The rest in the suffering
He's closer than the air you breathe
From the start to the end to the in-between
Don't you dare doubt even for a minute
What He started in you, yeah He's gonna finish
He put that hunger in your heart
To keep on believing (Hey) (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
And when you feel like giving up
When you feel like giving in
His love is the reason (Hey) (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
To keep on believing (Hey) (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
If we could pull back the curtain of Heaven
We would see His hand on everything
Every hour, every minute
Every second, He's always been in it
Don't let a shadow of a doubt take hold (Take hold)
Hold on to what you already know
He put that hunger in your heart (Hunger in your heart)
He put that fire in your soul (Fire in your soul)
His love is the reason (Hey) (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
To keep on believing (Hey) (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
And when you feel like giving up (Feel like giving up)
When you feel like giving in (Giving in)
His love is the reason (Hey) (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
To keep on believing (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)It's the reason, ah-ah-ah
It's the reason, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
His love is the reason, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
He's the peace in the madness
That you can't explain
He's the hope in the heartbreak
The rest in the suffering
He's closer than the air you breathe
From the start to the end to the in-between
Don't you dare doubt even for a minute
What He started in you, yeah He's gonna finish
He put that hunger in your heart
(Hunger in your heart)
He put that fire in your soul
(Fire in your soul)
His love is the reason
(Your love, Your love)
(Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
To keep on believing
To keep on believing
(Just keep on believing)
(Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
When you feel like giving up
When you feel like giving up
(Feel like giving up)
When you feel like giving in (Oh)
His love is the reason (Your love, Your love)
When you feel like giving in (Oh)
His love is the reason (Your love, Your love)
(Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
To keep on believing (Yeah)
It's the reason, ah-ah-ah
It's the reason, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
His love is the reason
It's the reason, ah-ah-ah
It's the reason, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
His love is the reason (Hey, hey)
To keep on believing (Yeah)
It's the reason, ah-ah-ah
It's the reason, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
His love is the reason
It's the reason, ah-ah-ah
It's the reason, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
His love is the reason (Hey, hey)
So, what do I do from here? Give up on my dreams? Or keep believing in Him and in myself to know how to understand His voice and His love?
Well, it's hard,
but I've got to believe that His love
is leading forward toward beautiful promises.
I don't have all the answers now. And you won't either-- but if we remember one thing only-- it will help us reach glorious destinations. That truth is that Jesus Christ is the Possible in impossible and the Hope in hopeless. Jesus is the answer to every question and Jesus is the only way to make it Home! Please have the courage to follow the Savior's narrow road of promise.
Trust in God's timing, Love, Christine
My first taste of Vegemite. A joke that Australian's love to play on their visitors!
And my first taste of meat pie-- now that is something to go back for! :) Delicious!
# courage # do not delay # decide your future by today's decision # gone but not forgotten
As I was finishing up this blog post this song line played into my thoughts: "The sun'll come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there'll be sun." I have a lot of sun through the Son of God, but I can hardly wait to see what tomorrow brings with His light to shine upon that new day.
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