"The Next Right Thing"

Sunday, 23 February 2020.

I've really been struggling with my levels of happiness this week. I had a "friend" do something very cruel toward me. It makes so little sense. I've never done anything intended to harm this person, but they seem out to destroy me. To say it's painful is an understatement.

Unfortunately, the song I most relate to this week is from the new Frozen 2 movie-- the song called "The Next Right Thing."

The lyrics are as follows:

I've seen dark before
But not like this
This is cold
This is empty
This is numb
The life I knew is over
The lights are out
Hello, darkness
I'm ready to succumb

I follow you around
I always have
But you've gone to a place I cannot find
This grief has a gravity
It pulls me down
But a tiny voice whispers in my mind
You are lost, hope is gone
But you must go on
And do the next right thing

Can there be a day beyond this night?
I don't know anymore what is true
I can't find my direction, I'm all alone
The only star that guided me was you
How to rise from the floor
When it's not you I'm rising for?
Just do the next right thing
Take a step, step again
It is all that I can to do
The next right thing

I won't look too far ahead
It's too much for me to take
But break it down to this next breath
This next step
This next choice is one that I can make

So I'll walk through this night
Stumbling blindly toward the light
And do the next right thing
And with the dawn, what comes then?
When it's clear that everything will never be the same again
Then I'll make the choice
To hear that voice

And do the next right thing

I try not to write about pessimistic things, so I will simply say that the feelings that have arisen out of unwarranted words and actions from someone I once completely trusted with every ounce of faith just adds to my feelings of confusion. How can someone show such hatred to the sweet and gentle soul I work so hard to show others? How could I work so hard to build warming fires of friendship and safe shelter only to have someone make a bonfire and intentionally throw me in? 

The feelings of rejection, betrayal, loneliness, and sorrow are hard to put into words. But this song comes to my mind these days. And yesterday as I laid with my head under a pillow weeping while I listened to that song from Frozen 2, I just didn't know how I could work through the pain. 

But, God is good to me. And he places people in my path to bring sunshine. Yesterday family and friends came to my aid to provide true needs in my home-- needs which my husband and I couldn't do for ourselves. And today at church, I had a sweet sister (who battles cancer and knows pains) bring me a bottle of lotion for my chronic pain. The cost is pretty penny, but she wanted it to be a gift for me. And how I valued her hug and kindness in remembering me. And everywhere I look I have people who do kind things for me left and right. Even the simpleness of my white-haired angelic friend at church who, in the midst of people wanting his attention, stopped to look me in

the face and smile at me from a distance. It was a simple act of focused friendship, and I felt his Christlike compassion even without shaking his hands. Indeed, as the scripture edict on charity goes: "Love is kind." And I am blessed by so many who are kind to me.

So why then should I let one angry and unkind soul bring my feelings of self-worth down into a state of despair and misery? Well, I must not let that happen!! With the help of God, I feel sustained and strengthened. I am thankful for His love. 

I am thankful to know that my friend who seeks to harm me is also dearly loved by God. He loves all of us. He wants all of us to turn to Him and follow Him in faith. 

I truly believe that we each have our own journey toward the Lord. And I can show forgiveness, patience, and yes, even love, to a friend for whom I still remember the beauty of soul and acts of love rendered. 

# There is Hope for each one of us through Jesus Christ. 

# You are Loved

# Go toward HIS light

# Let your covenants lead you hHome. 

# No sacrifice too great to know the Lord

# Keep trying

# Don't let shame keep you from knowing the Peace and Joy of God

# There is Hope smiling brightly... if you go toward Hope and not despair

Please join me as I go toward His light in the darkness and His Hope amidst despair. Let us each HEAR the VOICE of GOD and "do the next right thing"!

Love, Christine

9-months and Counting

January 2, 2020.

Today I commemorate a milestone of 9-months. 9-months of anguish, joy, sorrow... I've settled into acceptance and a certain happiness-- which always has an undertow of sorrow. It's hard to explain really. So, I won't try. # Remembering April 2, 2019 # etched in my memory # forgiveness-love-and seeking Godly humility keeps me calm.

I want to write briefly about my New Year's Day. Wednesday, my husband, children, and I braved the severe storm warning and traveled an hour and a half to have a New Year's family party. We enjoyed french toast dinner with a white elephant gift exchange. This game is always fun! I think that one of the gifts we brought was the topper of the worst, yet pretty funny gift! We boxed up an enormous pumpkin (which we have carefully maintained with our cool household temperatures and window placement) and Halloween chocolates. It was dubbed by one family member as "Pumpkin-pie-in-a-box make it yourself kit"... or something funny like that. :)) I personally LOVE pumpkin pie, baked pumpkin, or pumpkin soup (the last two of which I acquired a taste for in my travels to Australia several decades ago. Hey, I just remembered that I have an old photo of me in Australia in the 90's! I'll post it at the bottom of this post.:)


To get there we drove through some pretty horrible weather. In fact, for about ten seconds (not shown in a photo because I was too scared to think about taking one!), everything went white as we traveled through a very dangerous snowy canyon. Zero visibility with the snow. I have to say it was terrifying! Happily, when we made it through the steep canyon, we were pleased with the sunshine and lighter snow once we surpassed the deadly canyon!

Now... tangent's aside....

This is not the photo I took as I had the following thoughts on the freeway, 

but it is another photo I recently took of a sunny afternoon beyond the snowy canyon.

As we pulled onto the looping freeway to turn into our family's community I looked out over the sunny and dry, dead freeway roadside land and notes touches of orange, yellow, and red among the barren brush. On the Christian radio station, the announcer said: "We wish you a happy 2020 new year!" I took a big breath and calculated the years I've been waiting to see God fulfill his promises to me. I sadly noted that it has been 8 years. I went through my usual questions: "Did I misunderstand the Spirit of God?" "Is there still hope?" "Do I believe in what I perceive as promises?" "Should I give up now?" And so many other questions.....

As I sat there feeling sad, a song begins to play after her New Year's well wishes. And with this bit of non-coincidental hope, I decided that I will continue to trust God's perfect timing-- over my own short-sided impatience.

Here's the song I heard. I hope it helps you hold on to hope for as long as it takes for God to work his mighty miracles.

"Reason" (by Unspoken)

This year's felt like four seasons of winter
And you'd give anything to feel the sun
Always reaching, always climbing
Always second-guessing the timing
But God has a plan, a purpose in this
You are His child and don't you forget

He put that hunger in your heart
He put that fire in your soul
His love is the reason 

(Hey) (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
To keep on believing (Hey) (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
And when you feel like giving up
When you feel like giving in
His love is the reason (Hey) (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
To keep on believing (Hey) (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)

If we could pull back the curtain of Heaven
We would see His hand on everything
Every hour, every minute
Every second, He's always been in it
Don't let a shadow of a doubt take hold (Take hold)
Hold on to what you already know

He put that hunger in your heart (Hunger in your heart)
He put that fire in your soul (Fire in your soul)
His love is the reason (Hey) (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
To keep on believing (Hey) (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
And when you feel like giving up (Feel like giving up)
When you feel like giving in (Giving in)
His love is the reason (Hey) (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
To keep on believing (Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)It's the reason, ah-ah-ah
It's the reason, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
His love is the reason, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

He's the peace in the madness
That you can't explain
He's the hope in the heartbreak
The rest in the suffering
He's closer than the air you breathe
From the start to the end to the in-between
Don't you dare doubt even for a minute
What He started in you, yeah He's gonna finish

He put that hunger in your heart 

(Hunger in your heart)

He put that fire in your soul

(Fire in your soul)

His love is the reason 

(Your love, Your love) 

(Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
To keep on believing 

(Just keep on believing) 

(Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
When you feel like giving up 

(Feel like giving up)
When you feel like giving in (Oh)
His love is the reason (Your love, Your love) 

(Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
To keep on believing (Yeah)
It's the reason, ah-ah-ah
It's the reason, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
His love is the reason
It's the reason, ah-ah-ah
It's the reason, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
His love is the reason (Hey, hey) 

https://youtu.be/xFLNQVM51AU

So, what do I do from here? Give up on my dreams? Or keep believing in Him and in myself to know how to understand His voice and His love? 

Well, it's hard, 

but I've got to believe that His love 

is leading forward toward beautiful promises.

I hope that if you have sacred, holy, and righteous desires, that you will keep on believing in His love to shine a rainbow of promise on the landscape before you. It doesn't mean you won't have to pass through some severe storms like I literally did (and figurately have), but in the end it will all be worth it.

I don't have all the answers now. And you won't either-- but if we remember one thing only-- it will help us reach glorious destinations. That truth is that  Jesus Christ is the Possible in impossible and the Hope in hopeless. Jesus is the answer to every question and Jesus is the only way to make it Home! Please have the courage to follow the Savior's narrow road of promise. 

Trust in God's timing, Love, Christine

My first taste of Vegemite. A joke that Australian's love to play on their visitors!

And my first taste of meat pie-- now that is something to go back for! :) Delicious!

# courage # do not delay # decide your future by today's decision # gone but not forgotten

As I was finishing up this blog post this song line played into my thoughts: "The sun'll come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there'll be sun." I have a lot of sun through the Son of God, but I can hardly wait to see what tomorrow brings with His light to shine upon that new day.